Not sure if I want to stay

[N13]

Hi all

It's been a long time since I've been on here ut I'm in a bit of a crisis... I think I've fallen out of love with my wife. She and I have been together for almost 6 years and I've been unhappy for the past 2. We've been through a lot of ups and downs... many of the downs caused by her OD's in the past. We both have depression but mine has been stable for quite some time and the only time I get really depressed is when I think about my life with her.

I don't know if I should stay in the relationship since we've been together so long or if I should end it. And I must admit that when I think about ending it it's not a sad thought. Certainly not happy but it doesn't make me break down into tears.

Any advice would be most helpful.

Thanks

N

[mdog]

I am sorry but are u a male or female? Another question for you is could you explain why you are not happy or why you both are not happy? Are you confused on your sexuality? or is she confused? We need more details about your situation so we can give some advice..

[lukeb]

Speaking from experience, being in a relation with someone who suffers from depression is not an easy thing, what makes it harder is that it appears you suffer from depression as well. You've been together for almost 6 years that's pretty amazing. If you suffer from depression, the reason you sometimes get depressed is not your partner, it may just be easy to blame her because she is there. It is possible that the newness of breaking up and starting a new chapter in your life may give you a temporary boost.

[N13]

Mdog, I am a woman and I'm not confused about my sexuality. I don't think she's confused either. I can't really pin point exactly why I'm unhappy. For the last couple of years I feel like we've grown apart and are more just freinds who occasionally have sex. Things haven't been easy given that we both suffer depression and we both have times that it gets the better of us. For me I generally am upset for a few days, talk about how I'm feeling with her and eventually I feel better. With her she ignores me, downs a bottle or two of pills and sleeps in hospital for a few days before being admitted into a psych ward for observation.

She's actually currently in hospital due to an OD she took yesterday after finding out that I got turned down for yet another FT job (i'm currently unemployed).

I know that things do get better eventually as we've danced to this tune more than enough, but I just don't know if I can actually keep going. It's not easy trying to keep yourself peppy and happy for the sake of your partner, especially when I feel like my sanity isn't being taken into account.

I also feel like I'm being selfish for wanting to leave but then I wonder if I can be happy if I stay. I'm not blaming her for my unhappiness or anything, but I don't know what to do.

[chocolatemilk]

Are you looking for permission to break up with her or something? only you can make that decision but if you are unhappy in the relationship then breaking up with her would certainly solve that problem.

 

There is no obligation to stay with someone that makes you unhappy, who you are not in love with and who is negatively affecting your well-being. You are not responsible for her happiness, ultimately you are only responsible for yourself.