hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You know I'm honestly not that bothered. It's been like 5 weeks since I saw her. I knew it anyway deepdown, explains everything. Guy is an old flame of hers, been to prison, has two kids, nice. I saw her by the bar (I was very drunk with a gang of friends) and I noticed her checking me out. Anyway she approached me and asked various questions before stating quite candidly "I'm with A*** now." I I replied "I know", she was shocked and started asking "how do you know" etc. I said the guy added me on FB a few weeks ago, I worked it out then we said our goodbyes. I also told her I was moving away soon. It didn't affect my night one iota, honestly, NC does work. Anyway, get up this morning and see I have a missed call off her. No withelds, her number, first time in like 4 weeks. Was tempted to ring it back but thought what's the point? Link to comment
guest281 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 theres no point. she thought she would get the upper hand over you by saying she was with someone else. then when you said you knew she was shocked..probably at the fact you hadnt mentioned it to her. same with me mate, my ex left me for someone else.. she doesnt know i know, as she kept it secret, and deleted most mutal friends of facebook except one she 'forgot' about and they confirmed it. because you didnt make a song or dance about it shes raging.. i havent done it either and will never say anything about it. if she ever says shes with the new guy i will be like, yeah i know. hope your happy or something! i have got texts from her saying im a great person and she misses me... but i havent replied to any of them.. like you...whats the point! just ignore her, stick to nc.. thats what im doing.. bow out with your head held high that you can cope without her, and live a happy life without. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Thanks guys, the plot thickens. Had a text the same time (abiut an hour ago) saying "just checking if I didnt abuse you last night, I was in a state". What to do? Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Oh * * * * , i read this thread but didn't realise who posted it. Let me reply. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Thanks guys, the plot thickens. Had a text the same time (abiut an hour ago) saying "just checking if I didnt abuse you last night, I was in a state". What to do? Ignore it. Honestly ignore it. What a pointless message. "Oh no you didnt abuse me" "Oh cool have a nice life while im with so and so!" Screw her and her dumb games. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Ignore it. Honestly ignore it. What a pointless message. "Oh no you didnt abuse me" "Oh cool have a nice life while im with so and so!" Screw her and her dumb games. Thanks mtom, was gunna PM you. Very hungover lol. My sister spoke to the guy she's apparently meeting and he doesn't see it that way. Wish I hadnt told my sis not interested in the politics of it lol. Yeah im not gunna reply for the time being man, like u said all she's going to do is act coy. Actually may just say "thanks". Link to comment
banal Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Yeah ignore, definitely. Like I said before, this thread is a testament to the power of NC. You couldn't care less about her - good. Keep it up! Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Thanks. I couldnt care less about this new guy, I knew deep down anyway, the call and the text bother me though. I just replied, "U wer ok, cheers." lol. I am tempted to ring back though, I wont, but I am tempted. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Thanks. I couldnt care less about this new guy, I knew deep down anyway, the call and the text bother me though. I just replied, "U wer ok, cheers." lol. I am tempted to ring back though, I wont, but I am tempted. Interesting choice of English Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Don't call back. Its definitely not worth it. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Never return a missed call. At best she is poking you to make you put in the effort. Lame. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Ahem guys, sorry I did call back and we spoke for about an hour. Glad we did. Cleared a lot of things up and I'm glad tbh, never wanted an enemy of someone who was effectivley my best friend for 4 years. The whole thing was very jovial and light hearted and has actually let me assuage some demons as she was a lot more concerned about our dog than I had thought. She had been texting all sorts of people asking about him (neighbours) and even let slip she drove past the apartment once "on accident"...hmm. Am going to continue with my plans as normal, don't expect to hear from her. I am not going to overanalyse it. I went over 30 days NC, she couldn't understand why I wasn't relenting and curiosity got the better of her I guess. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 What on earth could you have to talk to her about for an hour? Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Well I was with her for 4 years mate, everything and anything, she was initiating it I can assure you. Is there something wrong with that? I didn't beg, cry or even mention the relationship other than us both saying we felt good now. I told her I was likely moving away and the whole convo was very upbeat and positive, even had some good laughs. Again, I stress, I am not altering any plans over this. As far as I'm concerend it was more like a catch up between old friends. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Just to add. She is staying blocked on FB (she asked why I blocked her) I am not going to ring, text or otherwise get in touch with her. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Well I was with her for 4 years mate, everything and anything, she was initiating it I can assure you. Is there something wrong with that? I didn't beg, cry or even mention the relationship other than us both saying we felt good now. I told her I was likely moving away and the whole convo was very upbeat and positive, even had some good laughs. Again, I stress, I am not altering any plans over this. As far as I'm concerend it was more like a catch up between old friends. I understand man. I get it. I just don't think you want to be friends with her. There is a difference with being nice and being friends. If she continues to contact you for 'friend' like contact than I suggest you should maybe stop it. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Remember, the desire for friend like contact stems from the fact you arn't over them. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah man, she text me earlier, very late for her. She must have been thinking. "You were right about me, drinking A*** doesn't want to know cos I played hell with him last night. Just made me think how much u put up with. I'm really sorry must have been hardwork." I text back, "Sorry to hear that, you wern't that bad, don't get too down." No reply but to be fair she was probaly asleep by then. As I just told a mate, if they continue with no hint of reconcilliation (no meeting up suggestions from her etc) then I will politley but firmly tell her I am not interested in further communication. I can't let this put me back man. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah man, she text me earlier, very late for her. She must have been thinking. "You were right about me drinking A***, doesn't want to know cos I played hell with him last night. Just made me think how much u put up with. I'm really sorry must have been hardwork." I text back, "Sorry to hear that, you wern't that bad, don't get too down." No reply but to be fair she was probaly asleep by then. As I just told a mate, if they continue with no hint of reconcilliation (no meeting up suggestions from her etc) then I will politley but firmly tell her I am not interested in further communication. I can't let this put me back man. Believe it or not its set you back a long way (you won't want me telling you this). She is now an active part of your life but not a productive part. Having said that, i recon there is a chance of reconcilliation. Would you want her after she's been off having sex with this other guy? Link to comment
hausser Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Yeah your right man, it has set me back. Umm.....my life would be 10 times less stressful if I did get back with her put it that way. The sex thing, nah that doesn't bother me. In the early days of the relationship I did the same thing at the end of the day. I agree that there may be a chance, but tbh dude I've got to make decision because I am 28, and if I got back with her I would not be moving anywhere. She loves our town, openly admits it whereas I hate it. However, since she left it opened my eyes how dire my social life and circle is. Essentially she was my best friend, though it never seemed like that at the time. I'm just going to see how it pans out over the next few days. If this had happened 3 weeks ago I would have been jumping for joy, but I feel almost apathetic about the whole thing, not happy not sad. Weird. How about you dude what day of NC are you on? Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I don't keep count Its been a few weeks thats for sure. I have to work with her once or twice a week. We just completely avoid eye contact now. My relationships gone though man, I don't want it back. If I ever got back with her i don't think i'd be able to remove the knife from my back.... I'm more or less just posting to help you and a few others get through the trouble. I think her leaving you is a good thing mate. Its lit a fire up under your as$ and that will make you improve yourself. Just remember, you're alot older than she is. So if she comes back for another year or two she'll be in her early 20's and you'll be 30. This means she'll always have the power over you. I really think you need to get your life in a good position (full time work, a good social life etc) before worrying about dating, because I'd hate to see you fall in the same old routine for another 5 years, and wake up well into your 30's realising you really do have nothing. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Thanks dude, appreciated. Yeah I hear you on the self improvement thing. I'm giving this whole thing a timescale. I'm not letting her blow hot and cold as this guy is or is not interested in her and I'll tell her that should be intermittent with her contact. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 All or nothing dude. If shes not ready to leave him and come back to you right now i'd f her off. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Apparently he doesn't want to know. My sister knows him, he'a bit of player. Yeah I won't be messed around man, will keep you updated. Link to comment
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