am i wrong?she got around need help

[struggler23Q]

well hello

 

I have this gf who admitted that she did some things, she does not know how many one night stands she's had.

 

this angers and disgusts me, i never wanted to be with a girl that would do this. I mean its fine but not so you dont even know yourself how many or even remember there names.

 

I got no problem with boyfriends because they got to know you and you them, there was some genuine interest in you and not just to sex you.

 

she's 24, i'm 22 and have had one nighters but not many because i was never comfortable with it and didnt want to be with a woman like that, i think it should be kept a little special and not something everyone can have a taste of/ unknown number.

 

Oh yeah she said that stuff is in the past and she did it with intentions of long term relationships/ we met and had sex that night for a little before i couldnt keep doing it and pulled out.

 

Am i wrong to care because shes with me and its in the past? Or is it just normal to sleep with any amount of one nighters?

Should i grow up or do i have a right to care and want her to give me a roundabout figure?

 

this might break us up if i cant get past it so some genuine thoughts on this would help.

[struggler23Q]

hey me again sorry just red over it and where i say this might break us up is wrong i'm not that immature i just want some advice/ answers to dealing with my issue

[elcie]

Perhaps it will help if you really think about her explanation.....

 

She said that she did it with "intention of long term relationships", so it seems as if the fact that they ended up being one night stands was NOT her intention. If she's telling you the truth then what she is guilty of is not promiscuity but being "clueless" about taking things slowly and not giving way to her romantic impulses.

 

So the important thing to ask yourself is how do you feel about this girl if it wasn't for your aversion for her past behavior, and can the relationship last, given your feelings about this?

[catfeeder]

Nobody you meet will have sprung from the womb fully formed without a history. The older you get, the more you'll meet people who've lived through bigger and bigger mistakes. You get to decide how much of their stories you really want to know and how capable you are of loving the person who stands in front of you today. That's what "...from this day forward..." means to those of us who opt to love people rather than our own fantasies 'about' people.

 

If you want to rule out convicts, that's a good place to start--but if you have fantasies of finding a pure storybook princess to create some idealistic happily ever after future together, then you're the one setting those parameters to screen out everybody else.

 

PS: You've just learned why it's unwise to discuss sexual history beyond a clean STD test. It's the perfect way to corrupt a perfectly good relationship--and that's unnecessary.