samloverzpie Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 alright...sooo this is a continuation of my previous problem. (inserts link here enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=386435 ) my boyfriend and i broke because he felt like i was more of a sister. we had some time apart, and saw each other at a friends party. he decided he had made a mistake and took me back. sooo we're dating in secret. we met up on tuesday at a nearby park. and we sat together for about an hour and a half and then he went home. apparently his parents found out he went to see me. and found out that at my friends party, he was flirting and talking to me. (i came to the conclusion that his mother is a psycho * * * * * ...because quite frankly, what kind of 40 year old woman goes around asking highschoolers and high school graduates what her adult son did at a friends party that obviously doesnt involve sex drugs or alcohol?) anyways...he just stopped txting me because he was in trouble...i hadnt heard from him in...5 days? and the night of the 5th day (last night), he sent me a coded message on facebook to let me know he was ok and his parents flipped out. then, the following day (today) i get a txt from his phone (that was taken away), just out of the blue. it reads: hey look it's over. i met someone last night. it went from seeing him on tuesday, cuddling and kissing in the park and saying i love you to each other, to not hearing from him and then having him risk alot to let me know hes ok, to sorry, its over. found someone else, k bye. the last time we broke up, we decided to be friends...and the last time we broke up, we discussed it. also, he said he wanted to be single to think things out. also, we dont usually fight. we have disagreements, but we work them out. ....here's the conversation: "Boyfriend": Hey look it's over. i met someone lastnight. me: ...what...? "BF": Look its not going to work out. We never get along. i just dont see it working. Goodbye. me: ...we hardly fight. I dont think youre "BF"....hes never this mean. "BF": Nope its me. In the flesh. me: I dont believe you. "BF": Fine, don't believe me. goodbye. me: I have never had "BF" be so mean to me. And he never ends things with goodbye. Youre not "BF". "BF" me: If you are "BF"...youre mom is making sure youre typing what she wants...if that is the case, please tell her im sorry she doesnt like me, but i care deeply for her son. ...And she cant trick me into thinking you really mean this. "BF": Well if thats what you think, fine. Think whatever you want. Im done. me: I will think whatever I want. "Goodbye" ~i used his name in the actual conversation, not "BF" there have been 4 times in the entire relationship where my boyfriend himself was actually really mean. it was the 4 times we actually got into a legit fight with each other. we dont fight. and...on top of that, if there is something wrong with me, he wont usually tell me whats wrong for my sake. i have to push and push for him to say it. when we broke up last time, it took me a week to get it out of him that his feelings had changed. he wouldnt just come right out and say he met someone else...coming right out and saying he found someone else and were done,just like that would mean he has to hurt me....this conversation goes against everything weve been though and every experience and conversation weve had. i think his mom txted me...or she was hovering over him, making him send these...i dont think he sent these of his own free will...
catfeeder Posted July 3, 2011 Posted July 3, 2011 What does it mean to be 'legitimate' in any of this? Involving yourself with a guy who allows himself to be policed by a committee isn't healthy. If you're an adult who is capable of dating other adults on your own terms, then why would you try to play in a sandbox with a boy who lives his life under a nanny-cam? Skip that, and find yourself a man who is dating material.
samloverzpie Posted July 3, 2011 Author Posted July 3, 2011 i love him...and his mom hates me and is soooooooooooo....whats the word....strict is quite the understatement....but...hes basically stuck until we leave for college in august...and thats kinda why im still here...i love him and i think things will be better without his mom around to keep us apart....
LonelyJedi Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I agree with catfeeder. The users on this forum are very talented in translating thoughts into words of advice. I can understand you still love him, but I think you need to go NC. Whether it is his mother or him that was speaking to you, whether or not he has found someone else or not, the end is near. (Sounds like something out of a movie haha He seems like he is allowing his mother to control his actions and decisions. It is very dangerous when a boyfriend/girlfriend has someone else besides themselves influence or make their decisions. In my case, my ex-gf would allow her friends and co-workers to heavily influence her decisions, if not make them for her. At any rate, go NC. As of right now, there is no point in waiting for him. He is under the "nanny-cam" right now, and from the looks of it cannot become free. I personally believe that he needs to establish more trust with his mother, that way she won't feel like she needs to watch his every move and "make sure he's doing the right thing." He has to mature a little more and become more independent.
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