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Curious; does anyone else find this thing inconsiderate?


annony

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I find it inconsiderate when someone asks why I don't have something. Such as "Why don't you have a car?" "Why don't you have a flatscreen tv?"(not kidding, someone asked me that)

Obviously the answer is that I can't afford it.

Does anyone else find themselves feeling offended at these types of questions?

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People ask me these types of questions all the time!

I had a conversation with a friend of mine a while ago about my GPS, it has a rubber ring on the outside surrounding the buttons that is coming off, so I have used hockey tape to stick it back on. (These types of handheld GPS units are about $400 to replace, so I'm going to use this one until it doesn't work anymore)

Friend "Why are you still using that GPS? Why don't you get one that has (x, y and z) features?"

Me "because that's expensive"

Friend "you work, don't you?"

arrg, yes, I work. Yes, I have a good job. I also have two kids, and while I can pay my bills, that's about all I can pay.

Why do I have to explain my budget to everyone?

 

edit to add the TV story...

Friend "did you watch show xyz last night?"

Me "no, don't have cable"

Friend "I don't either, i watch it on the internet"

Me "yeah, but I work on my computer, can't exactly watch shows on it at the same time"

Friend "Plug your computer into your tv"

Me "My TV's too old to run an hdmi cable"

Friend "Why haven't you gotten a new tv yet?"

 

I get asked about the lack of car quite frequently, like, every day. Not because I'm bumming rides either, because I'm quite happy to take the bus. Usually as I walk up to a meeting from the bus stop, someone will ask why I don't have a car.

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Yeah, sadly that's the mentality these days... If it looks bad throw it away, even if it still does it's job. Just put em' straight and they should stop (you may even teach them a thing or two on how not to be wasteful!).

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Okay, I'm a single mom and even I have a flat screen t.v.! Is it that you truly don't want one or that you don't want to spend the money (both are good reasons)? Flat screens are very cheap where I live, I got mine for under $200, same for my flatscreen monitor. I can find a decent laptop for under $300. I think it's more than the fact that you can't afford these things, most people have them, it's just that you don't want them bad enough to pay the money for them. That's okay, it's completely understandable, there are things I just don't think are worth the money. If I really want something like a car (I'm without one temporarily, but will get one within the next two weeks), I find a way to afford it. I'm not rich, but I usually find a way to get what I want. I think a GPS is a complete waste of money, I live in L.A. and we are born knowing how to get around, but what I really want, I find a way to afford. I bet you do too.

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FYI, that's not the kind of gps i'm talking about, and that's not what I use it for.

Also, $200 is a lot of money, and things are way more expensive in Canada compared to the USA. I honestly couldn't afford it with all my other expenses. It would take me A LONG time to save for it, so it hasn't been a priority.

I just had to buy my daughter $800 glasses. With a disabled child these types of expenses come up often, and no, I don't always find a way to get what I want, I often just go without.

 

edited to add that I'm not complaining about what I don't have, I don't feel that my life is rough. we have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food in our bellies. I don't have a lot of "toys" that sometimes I wish I had, but I have enough to be comfortable.

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"why do you wear that house arrest ankle bracelet?"

 

HAHAHAHA.

 

Anyway, why do these things upset you? Do you want a flat screen tv?

I've no items of real monetary value, and I never get annoyed when someone asks me why I don't have a t.v.

 

Maybe I should edit to add that I put very little value in material objects. However, I would fancy a new computer, this one is 10 years old and ain't running so great. Haha.

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It depends on the context I suppose, with the tv it sounded like they were genuinely trying to help you find a legit way to watch cable. Perhaps you unintentionally convey that you feel inferior for not having these things. Are you happy with your choices?

 

Perhaps they are just overbearing. Is it usually the same people who ask these questions? If so, I think you need new friends who are less about 'keeping up with the Joneses'.

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I get these kinds of questions too, and yes, I get annoyed.

 

I make a decent salary, but I have bills to pay, and I have different priorities. I have a 14 year old TV (a 20-incher, no less!), a 10 year old car, and a laptop that cost me less than $500. I FINALLY got an iPod a couple years ago, and a BlackBerry, but I've got friends telling me I *need* a MAC, an iPhone, an iPad, a *better* TV. What for? My TV works fine. My computer does what I need it to do. My phone does what I need it to do -- make calls, send texts, get my e-mails, take pictures -- I don't need a million useless "apps." I don't need GPS, either. That's what mapquest or yahoo maps are for. Printed directions work fine for me.

 

People get a bit annoyed with me when I get annoyed about constantly being hassled about "upgrading." One friend, when I said I didn't *need* a better TV or Apple products, said, "You're just resistant." Noooooo...I'm not "resistant" -- I have different priorities. I like to travel. I work out with a personal trainer and have a gym membership. I like to dress well and be accessorized, etc. -- And, again, I have bills to pay. If I have extra money, it's going to those things, not to a bunch of gadgets that I really don't need. Everyone has preferences, and if my friends prefer spending their money on the latest gizmos, that's fine -- I just don't feel I need them.

 

Yeah, I can see why you'd be annoyed.

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