It's been a month since break-up with cheating ex... still hurting + confused.

[starcrossed]

I come from quite a few bad relationships, but this last one was certainly the most difficult. We were together for nine months. It was very serious, or so I thought with all the "I love you"'s and conversations about the future. I thought I had found someone who shared my morals and goals. To make a long story short, just over a month ago I found out that he actually had another girlfriend while he was dating me, a girlfriend of a year and a half. So he was cheating on both of us.

 

It was a very traumatic experience... the confrontation I mean. I showed up at his apartment and he was arguing with this mysterious "ex" figure. Come to find out it was actually his girlfriend. Things got pretty crazy.

 

The pain has lessened, but my heart is still broken. I still have so much pain... I was okay until I was driving home today and passed his vehicle parked out in front of his place of work (I worked there too for a little while). It is right on the main street that I take almost every day.

 

I know I shouldn't have... but I slowed down and watched him through the window for a moment, laughing and carrying on.

 

Part of me doesn't understand how he can just carry on as if nothing has happened. Part of me wonders if he is back with his "ex", though for her sake I hope not. Mutual friends have stopped communicating with me, and I wonder what kind of a picture he is painting of me.

 

I am crushed... feeling broken-hearted and left behind, wishing I could be moving on too.

 

I truly loved that man, and I am not sure what to do. Any advice?

[Hollyj]

I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

You had mutual friends? Did they know about the girlfriend?

 

How often did you see this guy? Looking back, can you remember any red flags?

[Ms Darcy]

I would consider therapy -- a safe neutral place for you to get it all out. I would be interested in understanding your pattern in relationships. No one deeserves this, but I'm wondering if there is something else going on.

 

Hugs.

[Stand Strong]

Just allow time to heal. That's all you can do.

 

The person who is right for you would never do something like that. So if you even find yourself having thoughts of wanting to be back with him just remember, you deserve someone better. It's his loss.

[whysoalone]

I don't understand the mentality of some people. I really don't understand how someone could just string people a long like that. I feel ashamed by most of my gender, even though it isn't limited to guys.

 

Don't worry about it, it's good you found out now rather than having it drag on for years. It's the most horrible feeling in the world and all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off. Realise you're deserve a lot more than that and the right guy is out there for you. As time goes by and you find that special someone, you'll look back at this, realise he now has NOTHING and you're moving forward in your life. Towards a better place.

[whysoalone]

Just remember this, this is probably my favourite quote. Well, second favourite.

 

Think about this.

The person you are going to marry is walking the Earth at this very second.

That thought alone should give you hope to continue each and every day, knowing someone, somewhere is completely in love with you, even if you both don't know it yet.

 

It's not him, but there's someone out there who loves you.