Anusha Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Like I mentioned on my other threads I started working a few days ago(after have been umployed for a while).And even though that have been helping on my anxiety and my constant analysis of my conversations with my bf,it also brought me some problems.The thing is that I changed my work times to start in the morning so I dont have to work until late of night but that was the time that my bf used to call me.He usualy called me in the mornings but that time Im starting work now.And since I started working he havent called anymore on the usual time,I guess he gets afraid it will disturb me or anything like that.Last time we meet I even told him that was fine to call cause it usualy isnt much busy in the mornings where I work but even so he still didnt call.And anyway if I happen to be busy when he calls I can just call him back later,so I cant see the big deal on that.I dont want to be the one always iniciating the calls and I also dont want to stop our calls so I dont know what to do.Thursday was me who called,Friday we meet and today I didnt call(since it was me who called last) and he didnt call too.Any ideas on how I can solve that? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Do you really want him to call you during work? Most employers would rather you work than talk to your boyfriend. Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Do you really want him to call you during work? Most employers would rather you work than talk to your boyfriend. That is pretty much the only time possible for us to talk.And as long as it is a short call and when is quiet it shouldnt be a problem for the employers. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 That is pretty much the only time possible for us to talk.And as long as it is a short call and when is quiet it shouldnt be a problem for the employers. Can you not email durng work instead of talking? I would check with our employers - I know mine wouldn't take too kindly to me being paid while talking to my fiance on a call. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 work comes first... if he doesn't understand that. you need to put your priorities in gear and yourself first. you were just employed and you are worried about calling your bf? c'mon. Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Like I explained on my other threads he cant call me from home because of his aunt(she doesnt like that he dates,so she doesnt know about us).That is why he usualy calls me from work. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Like I explained on my other threads he cant call me from home because of his aunt(she doesnt like that he dates,so she doesnt know about us).That is why he usualy calls me from work. Tough diddy, when are you going to put yourself first? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You guys have been LDR for what, years now? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You have got to get your priorities right. You have just started a new job after being unemployed for a while and now you risk losing it because you want to talk to your boyfriend on the phone during working hours? If you insist on getting calls at work and talking on the phone when you should be working (no matter if it's quiet or not), then be prepared to lose your job real soon. Most employers would NOT be happy with you. You should be happy that he does NOT call you at work! Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 You have got to get your priorities right. You have just started a new job after being unemployed for a while and now you risk losing it because you want to talk to your boyfriend on the phone during working hours? If you insist on getting calls at work and talking on the phone when you should be working (no matter if it's quiet or not), then be prepared to lose your job real soon. Most employers would NOT be happy with you. You should be happy that he does NOT call you at work! Ok but that is the only time he can call,so when we will talk on the phone? Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 You guys have been LDR for what, years now? We are not LD,that is a new guy.The LD one is my ex. Link to comment
LazyDaisy Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 How old is this guy that he is not allowed to date? If he is legal age to date he needs to stick up for himself to his aunt. If he really want to talk to you he will find a way. Why can't he leave the house for a few minutes to make a call? Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 You know there comes a time in a man's life when he needs to grow up, grow a pair and stand his ground. His aunt really has no say so in terms of who he can date. Sure she may not like that he is dating and could be afraid that he will leave the coop but men do grow up and leave home all the time. Can I ask, are you sure he really lives with an 'aunt'? Because her dictating who he can and can't see is really creepy. Did you say that he is in his late 20's already? Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Ok but that is the only time he can call,so when we will talk on the phone? Can't you guys catch up on the weekends? Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Ok but that is the only time he can call,so when we will talk on the phone? Weekends. You can't talk every single day on the phone, even I who am in a LDR knows that. Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 No we cant catch up on the weekends because I work on the weekend too.I havent heard from him all weekend btw and Im not sure how to interpretate this.Saturday I was going to call but since I know that is the busiest day at his work(and on mine too) I decided to leave it up to him but he didnt call.Sunday he is free from work but so does his aunt so I cant call(in case she is near) and just have to wait for him to call and he didnt call too. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Instead of 'waiting' for him to call and then getting mad that he doesn't, why not communicate with him and tell him you want him to call you? On the other hand, I'm really not believeing this whole aunt story. Kind of sounds like the married man who doesn't want you calling because his wife is home.... Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Instead of 'waiting' for him to call and then getting mad that he doesn't, why not communicate with him and tell him you want him to call you? On the other hand, I'm really not believeing this whole aunt story. Kind of sounds like the married man who doesn't want you calling because his wife is home.... I told him that is fine to call when Im working but he still doesnt call.Before I started working in the mornings he would call me almost daily but now it is like that.I guess maybe he is expecting me to call instead but I dont want to do all the calling. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Instead of 'waiting' for him to call and then getting mad that he doesn't, why not communicate with him and tell him you want him to call you? On the other hand, I'm really not believeing this whole aunt story. Kind of sounds like the married man who doesn't want you calling because his wife is home.... I couldn't agree more. The 'aunt story' is too convienent for me, I'm sorry. I really think he is living with a girlfriend, or a wife, or even an ex. Let's say for the sake of argument, he does live with a creepy controlling aunt, he could always go outside and call you from his cell phone or even a pay phone if he doesn't have a cell phone. Link to comment
Tresha Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Have you ever seen this aunt? Why would any grown woman NOT want her 20-something child/nephew to have a social life? This just screams LIE to me. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I told him that is fine to call when Im working but he still doesnt call.Before I started working in the mornings he would call me almost daily but now it is like that.I guess maybe he is expecting me to call instead but I dont want to do all the calling. You are at WORK though - it's never okay to accept calls unless you are on a break at work. I'm sorry but you are putting your job in jeopardy every time you do this and your employers would have ever right to fire you. I would fire an employee who did it! Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 I couldn't agree more. The 'aunt story' is too convienent for me, I'm sorry. I really think he is living with a girlfriend, or a wife, or even an ex. Let's say for the sake of argument, he does live with a creepy controlling aunt, he could always go outside and call you from his cell phone or even a pay phone if he doesn't have a cell phone. I agree cause even if they both free that day it might be a time where she or he go out,I dont think they are near each other all day.So like you I do think it was still possible for him to call even with her being home. Link to comment
Anusha Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Have you ever seen this aunt? Why would any grown woman NOT want her 20-something child/nephew to have a social life? This just screams LIE to me. Yes I have seen her,it really is his aunt.They share the expenses so she is afraid that she will have to deal with it all by herself if he leaves home. Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Skype. 2.95 US/Canada a month to numbers, 9.95 for international, free if they use skype too. I'm sorry, you need to put yourself first and make HIM do the work too. I'm just going to say this. ld or not, this situation smells like a farce. find a better guy. Link to comment
Tresha Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Then he needs to tell her to get out of his personal life or he will leave home. He's a grown man. He's not calling you because the phone call to you (even one per week, apparently) is not as important to him as avoiding the discomfort of his aunt complaining. He's showing you what he is willing to give. The only part of this equation you can change is you. You are being really really really obsessive about this, and if I were your guy, I'd be running for the hills. Its too clingy and needy and I can't make someone else happy. Link to comment
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