Arguing & Bickering leads to No sex?

[Tragz]

Hi

 

Im 24 and my girlfriend are 22 we have been together for 1 year now and both graduated college and plan on moving in together very soon! My question I have is determined how I should handle these situations. In most cases I think and act rationally, and try to view a problem from both sides to make an intuitive decision.

 

In the beginning of the relationship for about 3 months or so there was no arguing, or bickering with each other. We rarely argued and the relationship sex life was healthy. After 3 months It's like she put on her real face on and all the arguing, complaining, bickering, battling (My favorite word for her) started without warning. We can't have a phone conversation without arguing about something so petty. It's like the if I say the wrong word, phase the sentence the wrong way, or say something I didn’t really mean, it turns into argument. She will say things like why did you say that? why would you say that?.

 

 

Her personality is real defensive. It's like she constantly is wearing a helmet ready for battle!

 

We will be watching TV and I will see something that makes me laugh maybe not for her, and I would make a comment nothing towards her but just talking in general and she will respond with something negative like "They would call you stupid too for all the stuff you did, why you going to call him dumb” -------something like that will lead to an argument.

 

** If I try to avoid responding I get hit with the “Why are you ignoring me", what do you have to say", Stop being sensitive... which leads to an argument

 

Sometimes I can’t take the arguing, I will tell her to please stop arguing with me, stop bickering all that, but it only lead to more arguing. I will tell her that Im going to hang up the phone if you continue, she gets mad makes a comment about me running away from my issues, and we need to discuss this, and so on. It not that im running IM TIRED OF ARGUING, Pointing finger at one another, It get me so restless that I get headaches and I need some peace and quite. Obviously this has affected our sex life because I can't get turned on if the last couple hours or days we been arguing with each other. I told her to stop arguing and we will have more sex, guess what... that leads to an argument.

 

** Guess what, she doesn’t bicker, battle, argue, and with me after sex it the best time but only last about a day then it back to the battle!

 

 

What do I do I love her but this arguing, bickering and battling each other are ridiculous.

[Ambiguous X]

Why would you want to be in a relationship that is toxic with someone who drains you? I say let her go...

[catfeeder]

She's showing you exactly who you'd be moving in with. The question becomes, why would you want to do that?

[Snny]

Sometimes I can’t take the arguing, I will tell her to please stop arguing with me, stop bickering all that, but it only lead to more arguing. I will tell her that Im going to hang up the phone if you continue, she gets mad makes a comment about me running away from my issues, and we need to discuss this, and so on.

Do not live with a person who is like this. If you both can't handle your arguments and she lets the small things bother her immensely, it will get WORSE when you move in together. Its harder to break up with someone when you both share the same living space.

 

IMO, you both sounds incredibly immature with the threats of hanging up and constant bickering. What do you think it's going to be like when you live together and sleep in the same bed every night when there is a fight everyday? There is no running away; you both handle it like responsible adults without nit picking or blaming each other, or don't co-live in the same living space.

 

Moving in with someone you've known less than a year is jumping the gun since you really don't know that person well yet.

[tresqua]

** Guess what, she doesn’t bicker, battle, argue, and with me after sex it the best time but only last about a day then it back to the battle!

 

What do I do

 

I wish all problems were as easy to solve as this one.

 

Have sex every day.

[Capricorn3]

I can't figure out, nor understand WHY you stay with such a toxic person who runs you down and makes your life so miserable. It's exhausting just reading about her, so I cannot imagine living with this nightmare every day. Before you know it, you'll be having low self-esteem issues due to her non-stop jibes at you. I would NOT recommend you move in with this selfish, toxic woman.

 

I DO strongly recommend you end this dysfunctional relationship.

[teknoise]

Dump her. This is ridiculous. Why would you move in with someone knowing you'd either have to spend your life with this type of person (pro tip: it won't last) or deal with the mess of moving out and moving on after living together. Perhaps you haven't dealt with a breakup with someone you have lived with before. It is very messy even at the best of times.

 

This is who she is. Being defensive, argumentative, disruptive, and dramatic is a part of her personality. You need to embrace and accept her as she is, or dump her. Accepting this sort of behavior is not something it appears you are okay with (nor should be), and you can't change a person.

 

I would run now, rather than running in another year or two when she drives you absolutely insane.

[hexaemeron]

Yeah, let her go make someone else miserable as she clearly is. Next!

[felt]

its hard, but you need to let her go..

id suggest getting the dating dictionary from link removed.. it allowed me to break free from my abusive and sexless relationship.