FWB to more?

[edubz8]

So here's the story:

 

I started sleeping with this guy who I went to college with right before we graduated (almost 2 months ago). We've still been hanging out and sleeping together which is great. I asked him a few weeks ago if he was seeing anyone else and he said no which I was really pleased about. Sometimes I think it's just about the sex for him, but then other times (judging by what he says and does) I think he might be interested in more. I want to know if anyone else has tried to make FWB more than that and if it's worked, or how I should go about talking to him about it. He's a really nice guy and we have so much fun talking and laughing and I really like him and am crushing pretty hard. At first it was just a sex thing to me too, I think, but now I want it to be more Any ideas?

[HeartGoesOn]

I'm not a fan of FWB's, but from what I've heard it rarely leads to a relationship. I think you would have had a better chance if you had taken the time to date him, in order to see if there was any potential for a relationship.

[edubz8]

While I appreciate your response that wasn't exactly an answer to my question

[JonasWaingaro]

Well you'll be breaking the agreement in a sense so be prepared for rejection. Anyhow, I think you just ask him. He might be feeling the same, he might not. Only one way to find out! I really don't think there's a subtle way around this kind of transition. Maybe someone will have a better notion though.

[edubz8]

He's only the 2nd guy I've ever slept with so I really haven't done anything like this before. I just know myself, and it took a lot for me to ask if he was seeing anyone else, so I don't exactly know how I'd go about asking him the other questions. Sigh, he's just so nice and sweet and I'm really starting to like him. Like I said, I have a feeling he feels the same way, but at the same time that could just be wishful thinking. The way he looks at me makes me melt sometimes! Also, the other morning he got ready for work too early and we had 20 minutes until he had to leave so he just laid on the couch with his head in my lap and it was just great.

[asthesparrow]

Ask him to hang out during the day, outside of the house so that no sex is involved. See how he treats you. Or if he even agrees to going.

If it goes well, and he isn't just trying to get in your pants, ask where you stand. If this is really just FWB. If he says it really is just the sex, at least you know, and can move on. Seems to me you don't want just the sexual relationship, and you're just stringing yourself along by staying with him without knowing where you truly stand.

[edubz8]

Well a little bit ago we went out for drinks and to watch this band and it was really fun and he just slept over, no sex involved. Then the other night he invited me out to a free concert at a park but I couldn't go. The problem with hanging out in the day is that we both work during the day so we're pretty limited to nights! Though tomorrow is this awesome free concert and he seemed interested in going soooo maybe we'll do that!

[lavenderdove]

There's no real way to know unless you ask him. You have nothing to lose other than the FWB situation if he feels awkward, but frankly, if you're falling in love and he's not interested in a relationship, you're better off finding out now rather than getting more involved with him and heartbroken later.

 

So some night when you're both relaxed and having a good time, just ask him something like, 'hey, are we dating here or is this just FWB?' and see what he says.

 

If he's not interested in dating you, then you probably ought to ramp it back because you're starting to get really attached to him.

[edubz8]

I wouldn't say I'm falling in love, but who knows? I don't think I know what that would feel like!

[dali]

Sure go for it, who knows he might even feel the same way, and of course he might not. Just have fun, is my advice either way it goes and don't get to down on yourself if things don't go your way.