He thinks a 2 year dry spell is strange? is it strange?

[Hypa22]

I don't think it's weird to go without sex for a long time - hell, I didn't even have a boyfriend untile my early twenties.

 

When my boyfriend and I were about to have sex he said it had been a year for him. I told him it was 2 1/2 for me, and he was weirded out by this. I don't know what he was expecting but...

Is it bad that he didn't consider this normal? Does it say anything about him? About me? He is chronically single but all of his friends say, when I ask them if he's a player, that he "isn't like that" and he himself says he isn't like that.

 

I don't know, is it really that weird to go through long dry spells?

[mouseno4]

I would find 2.5 years to be quite odd as well. Finding a single girl who has been single for more than a year is quite rare. So not having sex in over 2 years - i consider that a great length of time for a woman. Not the same for a guy though. Personal opinion only.

 

Personally though, the 'weirdness' would last about 10 seconds for me.

[TSandullo]

Personally though, the 'weirdness' would last about 10 seconds for me.

 

Or perhaps not weird at all in most cases as well.

 

I think it is an unnatural an irrational expectation to have on another person and consider them weird whether they have had a 'dry spell' for an extended period of time or not.

 

Multiple factors and circumstances can affect one's ability to have sex.

 

Even the hottest girl with everything going on in her life might have a dry spell for over three years. I know this from a close (platonic) friend of mine. She is a '10' as many guys say, however one day she confided in me that she hasn't had sex for over three years. I was surprised asking her how come considering her qualities, all she needs is to click her fingers and they will be spread eagle on the bed. She had her reasons.

 

So, being weirded out, I can't answer for your boyfriend. I personally have not had sex for over a year and a half and I have no shame in saying so. My friends constantly ask if I have gotten laid yet and with my nose in the air I say no.

I too have my reasons.

 

is it really that weird to go through long dry spells?

 

Regardless of gender, no.

 

TS

[mouseno4]

I would find 2.5 years to be quite odd as well. Finding a single girl who has been single for more than a year is quite rare. So not having sex in over 2 years - i consider that a great length of time for a woman. Not the same for a guy though. Personal opinion only.

 

Personally though, the 'weirdness' would last about 10 seconds for me.

 

Bolded the important part there for you.

[TakingtheBlame]

I don't think it's weird, but I can see how it would be considered unusual. Our society is bombarded daily with images of sex in ads, TV, movies, etc. and so I think we've come to believe that people are off having sex at every opportunity. I'm no sociologist so I can't speak to the truth of that as far as that being the national (or international) standard, but I do know that periods of celibacy among my friends and acquaintances vary greatly due to factors like different sex drives, personal values relating to sex outside of a relationship or marriage, anxieties, and the like. I think it's also common to make the distinction between celibacy during one's virginity and celibacy after one has lost her virginity. Even if someone has waited awhile to lose her virginity (and thus been celibate, technically, 24 years or whatever) people may assume that once the psychological barriers to having sex for the first time have been removed, that person would now have a more cavalier, or at least more open-minded, approach to sex. I know that this happened to me, but it is certainly not the case for everyone. In short, I wouldn't go labeling it in a negative way like "weird" but it may be different than what people are used to and so may cause surprise (not necessarily revulsion or concern.)

[mouseno4]

When can we expect the movie ''40 year old FEMALE virgin'' to come out in cinemas?

[whysoalone]

Haven't had sex in a while, nothing my hand can't fix.

 

Honestly there's nothing wrong with it, just proves you're not willing to just put yourself out there and sleep with any random bloke. Kudos to you, really. I wouldn't find it weird, i'd find it to be incredibly attractive.

[Hypa22]

i guess i'm a bit concerned knowing that he feels this way since... well, he's my boyfriend, and he's used to being single, and so he's obviously used to having sex a lot quicker than i am.

 

That said its his life and values and it doesn't much matter when we're together.

 

Still, it's weird to me that people think waiting is weird. Probably as weird as they think i am for waiting.

 

oh well

[Sparkly Eyes]

Yes...Men find it weird when a woman has been single for a while or hasn't had sex for a while, like there might be something wrong with her. I hate that too.

[TakingtheBlame]

i guess i'm a bit concerned knowing that he feels this way since... well, he's my boyfriend, and he's used to being single, and so he's obviously used to having sex a lot quicker than i am.

 

That said its his life and values and it doesn't much matter when we're together.

 

Still, it's weird to me that people think waiting is weird. Probably as weird as they think i am for waiting.

 

oh well

 

Why does the fact that he's used to being single mean he's used to having sex quicker than you are? Not all guys are out banging anything that moves while they're single (some may want others to think they are, but it's not always true.)

 

And so what if some people think waiting is weird? Everyone has their own opinions on everything else, so why not on sex? The important thing is that you chose to wait for your own reasons and you seem content with that choice, so who cares what some other people with different values, mindsets, and backgrounds think?

[whysoalone]

I'm a male, I never said I find it weird!

 

TYVM

[TakingtheBlame]

Yes...Men find it weird when a woman has been single for a while or hasn't had sex for a while, like there might be something wrong with her. I hate that too.

 

Isn't it the same for men though?

[Sparkly Eyes]

Isn't it the same for men though?

 

I didn't say it isn't. I don't judge men based on that personally, specially if they haven't had sex by choice.

[Hypa22]

i actually don't go into dating or relationships thinking that people will wait to be in a relationship until they have sex. I myself don't have sex outside of a relationship but i don't think others shouldn't.

The only thing that concerned me here was that he (and everyone else) insists he won't have sex outside of a relationship, and yet finds it weird that i haven't had sex in so long? How often is he in a relationship? Is it weird to be single for so long?

i know i know it doesn't matter different strokes for different folks but it makes me uncomfortable i can't help it.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I would have to wonder about the morals, values, character and priority of a man who would think it is weird not to have sex in a while. I am not sure why not having sex is something that is considered "weird". I have seen some pretty weird people who do completely off the wall, eccentric things..but I guess they wouldn't be considered weird as long as they have been having sex regularly!!!

[JonasWaingaro]

No it's not strange and I'd guess fairly common. Not everyone is out having sex all the time after all. And remember people lie about such things and/or exaggerate. Not sure what he means by a relationship if he doesn't have sex outside one yet thinks 2 years is strange. Does he monkey bar from one relationship to another for sex? Now that is strange! Lol

[WockaWocka]

Given some of the stories I've heard here and elsewhere about guys who are intensely jealous of every other man their gf has ever been with, I'd think he'd be flattered that you didn't sleep with the first guy who came along. Just goes to show you can't please everyone.

[BlueMilk]

Hmmm, maybe you're misinterpreting his definition of 'weird'.

 

It could mean 'weird' as in 'Whats wrong with you?' Or 'Do you have some weird fetish no one can match up to?'

 

But I think it might be more of a positive side note, like 'Huh, but you're gorgeous and amazing, its weird that you aren't constantly hounded!', in which case its not so bad is it?

[Weeb]

Hmmm, maybe you're misinterpreting his definition of 'weird'.

 

It could mean 'weird' as in 'Whats wrong with you?' Or 'Do you have some weird fetish no one can match up to?'

 

But I think it might be more of a positive side note, like 'Huh, but you're gorgeous and amazing, its weird that you aren't constantly hounded!', in which case its not so bad is it?

I think this is more how guys will see it. Not weird like you're a "freak," but just unusual and unexpected.

 

When I told my current bf that I had been single for nearly 3 years, and hadn't had sex in a year, he was definitely surprised. He just saw me as too cute to be single for so long!

[greywolf]

I've been single for more than 2 years. I don't think that's odd.