HappyFlow Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Hey, I am sort of going out with a guy that is going out with another guy at the same time. I guess that makes it an official triangle relationship, but I want him to myself and I can't help but feel out of his league because I'm weak, the other guy is strong. Let us call the guy I like most A and the guy I feel competative with B. B is one year older than me which means he can move in with him sooner(still in high school). B plays the guitar and I play a freakin flute! He has gorgeous, long hair and I am forced to a buzzcut. He is more outgoing and I'm shy. A is a really nice guy, but has a tough time choosing between the two of us. B even met A first. I, C, feel that I should quit while I'm ahead, because at least til the end, nobody likes me. A is the submissive type, B is the dominant type, but I'm sort of in between. Is it still a fair count if he said that he loves me...? I have never felt jealous over anyone before, and I'm just getting started with the whole relationship thing. We all like animals, B is dark, A is light and again, I'm in between. I think they both go well together, because they are both kind, but the differences make it interesting. Would I only stand in the way, or could we actually make this work? Link to comment
HappyFlow Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Too odd of a situation to input? Link to comment
scottdal Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Wow! where to start, first I would say get some confidedence and self respect he's' obviously a player. You really have to realize you have a lot going for you off the bat. To be in the middle of this "triangle" as you called it is horrible, wish them both well and thank them for the distaction and WALK! Oh, and don't look back unless you're brushing dirt off your jeans/shorts. Just do your own thing, be yourself and focus on things that make you happy. If he's into you he'll follow your lead, if not then you've stopped wasting your time. Link to comment
HappyFlow Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am a stubborn person and I don't believe that helps in my case...He can't be a player, because he claims to be a virgin and I believe him. I kind of have to trust him, because this is my first serious relationship. Though he IS a tease, that much has been said. But what kind of player asks someone out, instead of having someone tempted into doing so? How could I be sure if I were the middle or better yet, that much of a loss??? I already call myself plainer than the the color gray. Maybe I'll try and make some sacrifices... Link to comment
TwilightLurker Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 I personally don't believe it's healthy to be involved in an open relationship, but that's me. The guy that's dating you and also another guy at the same time may be a person you really don't want to be involved with because he seems to like being with more than one person at once, and if he's okay with that now, even if he stops dating the other guy and goes with you, what's to stop him from resuming his multiple dating partner way of life down the road? If you really like this guy, you need to talk to him about this triangle. Explain to him how much you care for him, but that you can't be with someone who also wants to be with other people at the same time. Don't think or talk about the other guy. This is about you and the guy you're dating. The guy you like, in my opinion, needs to either commit to you, or you should stop seeing him. Link to comment
scottdal Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 The bottom line is there are all kinds of players. To start out as you have says you have strenght. Stubborness yea maybe but I think you are confusing stubborness for emotion. You obviously like this guy a lot and for that I understand your not wanting to walk away. JUst remember it's just as important that he be as committed as you are to this and it sounds like he's interested in only having his cake and eating it too. A virgin? that depends on your classification of virgin. I can't say he has or hasn't had sex just as much as you aren't sure he's telling you the truth, I have to agree with twighlight on what they said you need to verbalize and go from there. In the end you are going to have to decide is this guy the right one? We'll be here when you get back and stand behind you through it all, that's what friends and pen pals do. Best of luck on your decision. Link to comment
TwilightLurker Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 JUst remember it's just as important that he be as committed as you are to this and it sounds like he's interested in only having his cake and eating it too. I firmly believe commitment is key to the success of a relationship. Both individuals must be committed to each other in order for the relationship to work, blossom and become lasting. If one person is committed, but the other intends on romancing others at the same time, then the one that's committed will experience sadness and perhaps even low self-esteem. There's no point in being a part of a relationship that puts such a damper on one's life and sense of self-worth. Link to comment
HappyFlow Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Something is bothering me, what did you mean by "only interested in having his cake and eating it"? This is sort of embarrassing, but I was the only that suggested the triangle, because he was honest that he liked the other guy too and I didn't want to pressure a decision on him. Yeah, I didn't have a problem with it at first, but then I suddenly had the thought that this would be tough. I don't look at a relationship as divided attention, but a chance to better understand one another. Link to comment
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