Need help desperately ....What do I do?

[Mspleasehelpme]

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 6 months. To make it clear his parents absolutely hate me. They have called me every name under the sun and think that I am bad for his son. Because my boyfriend and I have fought about my past ( me being too descriptive about guys that i have been with made him uncomfortable even though I told him this when we weren't together...long story) There family have called me a *lut and also said bad things about my family even though they dont know them.

 

He is 32 and I am 28 - it got so bad with his family that we had to leave the state. He left his family business behind and every asset he had and wanted to start a life with me . He recently went back to visit to try and mend things and they didnt want to hear that he loved me and felt that my family were welcoming here. They swore at him and said that I would cheat on him and he would be sorry and he is making a big mistake and that I am a *hore.

 

The big problem is his dad has cancer ..... liver cancer and basically will pass away one day. He has tried to talk to his family about me but there are non negotiable when it comes to me. They have high expectations for there son and I do not fit there criterea. He had no choice but to leave the state again and came back to me. Now they are saying that his dad is dying and they need him back and that he doesnt have much time left. Thing is I went to the hospital with his dad and they told me he was over the median rate for it being dangerous ( as him passing away very quickly) and that they were going to try another form of chemo.

 

Anyway - his family every day think of some excuse for him to break up with me - from digging up things about my past to his dad is now dying, even though it wasnt mentioned when he went back a day ago. Tonight he recieved a text message that his dad hasnt got long.

 

I feel that I cant be happy in the relationship that I am in because of what is happening. My boyfriend always says to me why do I take things to heart so much. Its hard to hear these things when they arent true and every time the phone rings its them with new stories and reasons why he should get rid of me.

 

I have thought of ending the relationship and letting them win? But what will that prove?

 

He doesnt want to leave but wants to go spend time with his dad obviously when the days are counting down when he passes away. I do feel uncomfortable with him going back. I know its selfish but they are nasty people. HIs mother even tried to call the police when he wanted to leave and come back to the state I was in. She even tried to pop his tyres!!!!!

 

I havent done anything bad - I tried so hard to be part of the family and to prove myself and my boyfriends brother had it in for me and poisoned his mother with lies about me and my life. Now I live in fear and anxiety that I have to explain myself every day to him when they ring with new things.

 

What do I do?

 

 

[1m50L0nl3y]

I dont get it, you talked to him about your past and somehow his family knows and now they hate you?

I have learned something from previous relationships and is NEVER talk about my past with women, the past is the past, no reason to talk about it, none of my current girlfriend's business.

Be discreet.

But anyway, his father is dying the best thing you can do is let him go and be with him. At the end of the story that man is his FATHER. His family may be nasty but is his family, they are part of the "package", so if you wanna be with him you will need to take everything that is involved with him.

If he doesnt go, and the old man happens to die..... His family will hate you 10 times more. They will project the pain of their loss in the hate they already have for you.

Are you scared they will brainwash him? If that happens then be happy you got rid of him and his crazy circus he calls family.

[Mspleasehelpme]

Firstly I was descriptive when I wasnt in a relationship with him we were friends at the time. We hadnt even met - a mutual friend hooked us up through facebook and we were chatting on the phone. I basically said to him like a stupid person that I was good at giving oral sex. That bothered him - that other men had throught that. But it was up to him to persue the relationship. I even tried to get rid of him and said this wouldnt work and he persisted and basically we fell in love. But now im stepping on eggshells about my past,.. its horrible I wish I never said anything.

 

Basically my past became a huge issue for me and we ended up fighting in the family business about it and his parents found out. Now they have blown everything out of proportion - that I cheat on him all the time, that he is going to regret the decision to be with me. That I a a dirty *hore etc.

 

Yes I am scared they are going to brainwash him but I spoke to my dad and he said if he is going to be brain washed then I might as well know now instead of 2 years down the track. Both of us have multiple sclerosis and we really dont have time to mess around if we dont want to be with eachother etc. We cannot play around with our health.

[1m50L0nl3y]

Im sorry to hear about your health condition.

 

The reason why I said before not to talk about your past (also applies to sexual expertise) is because there are some people (like your boyfriend) that will bring this up later on to use it against you.

But what is done is done.

 

I admire you for going through health issues and also through his family's crap. I think they shouldnt be involving themselves in your relationship and/or your life. I also agree with your father, the sooner the better.

But let him go and spend those valuable days with his own father, he probably wont see him again. Try to put yourself on his shoes. My father died, and if I had to choose between being there the day of his death of being with my girlfriend, I choose to be with him.

[mouseno4]

What i found to be the best - only tell your partner things that WILL matter to them. If you gave your second ex a blowjob, your current partner has no need to know that. However, if you fell pregnant with your last ex, and had an abortion, it would probably be a good idea to tell them this as it can affect them. Like i said - only tell them what they NEED to know. Everything else is the past.

[Mspleasehelpme]

I said to him tonight that I will be there for him no matter what.

 

Thing is we cannot get a straight answer from his parents about his dads condition. So we have decided to ring the hospital to see what stage his liver cancer is at and what he needs to do after that.

 

He said to me he felt sick the other night when he heard his parents talking about me.

 

Its such a shame though - all I can think about is why his parents don't like me. I have been told his parents have such great expectation of the girls that they are with. Him and his brother ... his cousin the other day said to me she feels sorry to whoever marries the brothers. I thought great.

 

Sometimes I feel like giving up. It all gets too hard. How do I expect to enjoy a relationship when I am awaiting phonecalls from his family.

 

yes you are right mouseno4 there is nothing he needs to know - all the important stuff I have told him. For some stupid reason I was descriptive to him to show off. I dont know why... I thought it would impress him. How dumb and naive of me.