Help us out. Nothing seems to be working.

[double beam]

I've 19 years old and i've been in this relationship for 8 months now. We both met in college and after knowing each other for around 2 months being good friends we started dating. This is my first relationship and second for her, she had been in one for a year and a half almost 3 years back. That relationship ended for her because the guy started to take her for granted.

 

Now that i'm done introducing us, i'd like to tell you more about our relationship. The relationship went very well for about 4 months. We were almost together every instant possible and happy to be so. I am mainly a shy type of a guy and she is very outgoing. She is friendly and has a lot of friends, mainly guys. Initially the problem that started was that i felt too dependent on her and tried to be with her as much as possible. After around 4 months or so she joined an organisation in college that almost took all of her time. I felt kind of ignored and ended up taking out my frustration at her even during the little time we got together. Things got pretty bad and she just started trying to stay alone as much as possible. She agreed to leave it for me but that made me guilty for not letting her enjoy her own life. I eventually realized that it's me whose at fault here. It's her life and she has every right to do whatever possible. We talked to a few friends and they made me realize that i need to learn to accept the fact that things won't always be like the initial months, things eventually would phase out. Anyways while all this was happening her parents didn't like the organisation and made her quit it. The thing got out of the way on it's own eventually.

 

Things got back to normal and it went fine for a few weeks but it got bad soon enough. We had a lot of fights. All mainly being i felt she not giving me enough attention. She made me felt like i was the only person in her life during the initial months. As time went, it started coming down. I know it's all normal but i always felt the need for more time. How do i deal with this codependency of mine?

 

Another point of conflict was me not being her friendly with a few guys. The day she proposed to me, her best guy friend when he got to know this, proposed to her as well. He had been good friends with her for 2 years. She turned him down saying she had no such feelings and he was just a friend. She says she never even thought about that. I learned later he had also given her a teddy sometime back which she had named 'boyfriend' which she explains as the teddy was one who slept with her at night, hence the name. Call me a fool, but who names a teddy from just a 'good friend' as 'boyfriend'? Things were weird between them for a bit but they sorted it out. The guy told that he'll continue to have the feelings and he can do nothing about it. He even sent her messages like that she is her 'baby', and only she can have that title in his life. She still talked normally to the guy as nothings wrong and he is just a friend. I know no wrong intentions were from her side but despite knowing the guys feelings she continued to talk to him. She said he is a very good friend and she just can't stop talking to her. Eventually the guy started dating another good friend of both of them and are dating currently as well. But for some reason i still don't trust the guy with her. Another very good friend of hers is a guy who is into a lot of one night stands. He is very open about his sexual life with her and they talk about that stuff very openly with each other. He has been a childhood friend of hers and they are very close since quite a while. They had recently decided to be each others 'back up plan' for marriage. According to her the thing was a joke and i see that. But i think deep down the guy has feelings for her. He once called her sometimes when he is drunk and said he didn't date her because she wasn't good looking. He said he'll bang every good looking girl till he's 30 something and then he'll marry her and bang her. She thinks it's all a joke and he's just playing around. Am i supposed to be comfortable with this? Recently she also met a guy in college and they became kind of good friends. He didn't really have a lot of friends and spend quite a time of his day texting her and talking to her. He had also recently went through a breakup. I know i don't know him personally but i did believe to an extent that he was trying on her but she didn't believe that for a second. She started telling me all they talked about but i still wasn't convinced. She eventually stopped talking to him because it troubled me so much.

 

I know i'm a jealous guy. I know for one thing she would never cheat on me. But still i'm not comfortable with the fact that she hangs out with such guys. She has a lot of close guy friends ask her out in the past. Also i can't ask her to stop meeting them because they are her good friends. How do i become comfortable with this?

 

What do i do? Am i just a wrong person? Are we not meant for each other?

[listed]

Ok am I to understand that she proposed to you? If so this is a good sign and I'd try to trust her while at the same time realizing that young girls can change there minds easily so give yourself a little bit of a safety net (if things end it's not the end of the world). Try to avoid the clingyness but by the same token this can't make everything perfect. Just respect yourself and realize that no matter what happens you're worthwhile and things will workout for you.

[double beam]

Yes, she was the one who asked me out. I know for one thing, she loves me a lot. Recently during a fight, I in the heat of the moment ended this. I soon realized what i had done and apologized later and asked to take me back. She initially refused saying i can never be happy with her and it would be good for me if i just leave her. But eventually after a few days she accepted me back. Now it's been a a few days since that but since then she has kind of changed completely. She says she doesn't want to lose me ever again and doesn't want to do anything wrong. All she does is narrate her days incidents as they are happening, literally narrates. That's all we talk about, something for like 15 minutes a day. What do i do to make it normal again? I just want things to go back to normal and her to feel happy and not trapped in this relationship. I have tried talking this with her but to no avail. She says she's fine and just doesn't want to screw up.