giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 my other thread with background So its a week since no contact was started, and the NC is supposed to be for 3 weeks. I haven't texted, but i can tell you, i have a hell of a lot of things I would like to say to him. It was just the complete and utter lowest point a week to 10 days ago, just NEVER want to revisit that again. Each time i want to text (which has only been really in the last 2 days) i just think about how texting is just going to bring that horrible feeling back of well, just being in contact.. of being controlled, emotionally abused, its a sickening feeling. I have been mainly getting more involved in my business (art) and doing more work, and kind of coccooning, getting a lot of sleep, just trying to feel good again. Can't say i feel fantastic, but i am not depressed either. So with 2 weeks of NC to go, i am thinking about what might happen then at the end of that. He will be expecting me to contact, simply because he does and always has taken me for granted and i am preparing myself for the final letting go, seeing that all contact will be up to me. (and that i wont be contacting) Just seems that whenever i contact him i just end up feeling bad for some reason or another. I just have to keep remembering that. Link to comment
whysoalone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Why are you planning on 3 weeks? Congrats on the first week though, always an achievement. Keep yourself busy, it'll get better with time! Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 we are on a 3 week "break" Link to comment
whysoalone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 we are on a 3 week "break" F**k that (there goes my last warning). 3 week break? Who the hell in their right mind asks for a set period of time? LOL. I wouldn't bother, after those 3 weeks you'll want nothing to do with him again. You're clearly better than that, what's the point of letting him string you along? Link to comment
whysoalone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Reading your thread, he doesn't deserve a grain of * * * * * at his funeral. What he's doing too you is pathetic, and you should just free yourself. Progress with what you love and meet a nice man who isn't a soft * * * * just after sex. Link to comment
Unwanted Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 we are on a 3 week "break" GG don't do what I did and marked the calendar for when NC was supposed to end. The ex said "NC ok, not until the 28th of June" And I had a big fat marker on the calendar, counting down every hour. Then I realised, * * * ?, he doesn't deserve a mention on my calendar. Liquid Papered him out. I know it's easier said than done, but it's good you're keeping busy with your business. It's hard to ignore the 'time frame', but I know you can get through this!!!! Hang in there!! Link to comment
dabbledave Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Like you said, he's expecting you to contact him after three weeks. Don't give him the satisfaction. Seriously. He's not worth it. I hope by the time these next two weeks are up, you'll see more clearly what the rest of us here are seeing. Stick with NC and sail through the next two weeks, two months, and the rest of your life with dignity. Link to comment
Unwanted Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Like you said, he's expecting you to contact him after three weeks. Don't give him the satisfaction. Seriously. He's not worth it. I hope by the time these next two weeks are up, you'll see more clearly what the rest of us here are seeing. Stick with NC and sail through the next two weeks, two months, and the rest of your life with dignity. Here here. Exactly that, HE'S EXPECTING YOU TO CONTACT HIM. Don't give him the satisfaction. Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 F**k that (there goes my last warning). 3 week break? Who the hell in their right mind asks for a set period of time? LOL. I wouldn't bother, after those 3 weeks you'll want nothing to do with him again. You're clearly better than that, what's the point of letting him string you along? yeah he has done it heaps. 2 weeks, one month "at least the rest of this month" . You name it, ive been given it. Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 So he gave you 2 weeks NC did he? Yeah and he called you pretty much just after the 28th I wish i didnt care about this i really do GG don't do what I did and marked the calendar for when NC was supposed to end. The ex said "NC ok, not until the 28th of June" And I had a big fat marker on the calendar, counting down every hour. Then I realised, * * * ?, he doesn't deserve a mention on my calendar. Liquid Papered him out. I know it's easier said than done, but it's good you're keeping busy with your business. It's hard to ignore the 'time frame', but I know you can get through this!!!! Hang in there!! Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I hope i am over it. 2 weeks to go and i want to not care How do i get there? F**k that (there goes my last warning). 3 week break? Who the hell in their right mind asks for a set period of time? LOL. I wouldn't bother, after those 3 weeks you'll want nothing to do with him again. You're clearly better than that, what's the point of letting him string you along? Link to comment
Unwanted Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 So he gave you 2 weeks NC did he? Yeah and he called you pretty much just after the 28th I wish i didnt care about this i really do Yep exactly...he was probably thinking, oh hey it only takes 2 weeks for a person to start feeling better about themselves, let's pretend nothing happened and be friends yey.....ughhh it's disgusting really. i know it's hard not to care. I can't imagine how you're feeling Focus all that energy and divert it towards something that makes YOU happy. What are the top 3 things that you really enjoy doing? Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am actually feeling ok, its saturday night and i havent texted and thats something. I am just trying to prepare myself for the next 2 weeks. If i can get past teh next FOUR weeks without texting then i know i will be on my way art gardening watching films Link to comment
whysoalone Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am actually feeling ok, its saturday night and i havent texted and thats something. I am just trying to prepare myself for the next 2 weeks. If i can get past teh next FOUR weeks without texting then i know i will be on my way art gardening watching films Don't give yourself a set time frame of NC. You'll just start counting down the days and it'll play on your mind a lot more. Just DO it, NC. Go for it, nothing more to do with him. If you want to text, pm me. That's your text. You don't deserve this kind of treatment, it's time to forget him and his pig-head ways and just move on away from the degenerate idiot. This is YOUR time, put your foot down and resist the urges to go back to being nothing more than a casual booty call. Link to comment
Unwanted Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 I am actually feeling ok, its saturday night and i havent texted and thats something. I am just trying to prepare myself for the next 2 weeks. If i can get past teh next FOUR weeks without texting then i know i will be on my way art gardening watching films Exactly what whysoalone said....NO TIMEFRAMES Giving yourself 4 weeks falls too much into the 'long term goal' category. My counsellor said to focus on TODAY. Today is what's important. Focus all your energy into your art, your gardening and enjoying films again. Ohhhh I also love all 3 things. I reckon gardening is very therapeutic, except it's crappy how it's cold outside now. This weekend, if you haven't got anything planned already, choose one that falls under that interest and do something related to it. And perhaps alternate between the 3 this following week.... Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Art is my job, so i kind of do it all the time. I am a lot calmer than a week ago, anyway, resisted urge to text today.....again. Focussing on one day at a time is whats working for me. Being in the now and all that jazz **jazz hands** Link to comment
Unwanted Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Art is my job, so i kind of do it all the time. I am a lot calmer than a week ago, anyway, resisted urge to text today.....again. Focussing on one day at a time is whats working for me. Being in the now and all that jazz **jazz hands** Hahahah cute! Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hoping the book that i ordered " Why Does he Do that, Into the minds of Angry and Controlling Men" arrives today............... someone here on thsi thread suggested i read it. The section on Playboys... Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Is this another one of his 3 week punishments? How about you extend it indefinitely? And never put a time limit on NC because all you will do is be watching the clock, waiting for the time limit to be over so you can be in contact again. So you never really grow or accept the relationship as over. Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 yes its a three week NC punishment. He thinks we will be in contact after that Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Screw him! Show him just how long you can do this for. Stop putting up with this crap. Link to comment
Benzo Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 A three week break? What a load of crap, that's just an excuse to be stupid! You should take this "break" and run with it, make it muuuuch longer ! Turn it around , this is your game now! Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 yes we have had lots of 2 weeks breaks, usually him freaking out and needing space (from what i dont know). Probably for him to search for other victims, i mean women Link to comment
giraffegirl Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 The book finally arrived an hour ago! Quite interesting. Basically no one can ever change a guy like this. Link to comment
pietro5266 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 ... Probably for him to search for other victims, i mean women Yes, now you're seeing him for what he really is. ... Basically no one can ever change a guy like this. That's what I learned as well. No matter how hard you try, no matter how well intentioned you are, and no matter how much you think you are helping them, people like this will be unresponsive, even insulted. They won't see their own faults and will turn it against you. This was my experience, as well. Link to comment
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