Should I Summon the Courage?

[Penseur]

I was in a relationship with a girl who I was previously friends with. We have been good friends for the past 1 year, and in a relationship for about 5 months. We had some relationship problems about 3 weeks ago, and we each promised to change. Anyway, that was sort of a mini-reconciliation, even though we never broke up, we had to rebuild some trust. The problem rose out of me being insecure and jealous, and acting angrily and cold toward her. I didn't talk to her for a few days after the problem incident, but I apologized and promised to get better after that time. She promised she would make improvements, too.

 

Well about 2 weeks elapsed from that incident, and we made very little progress. We didn't talk on the phone very much, and only saw each other a few times. Our intimacy level dropped precipitously. We went from kissing and having sexual relations, to nothing. Though I will say I was out of town for 4 days, and she was out of town 3 days during separate times. But my insecurity got the best of me, and I ended it with her about 3 days ago. Now I realize I made a huge mistake, and I want her back. I will say, though, that while I was the official dumper, in actions I feel like she was the dumper. But again, this could be rooted in my insecurity and lack of communication.

 

Seeing as we already went through a "mini-reconciliation" stage, how should I pursue this full-blown reconciliation attempt? I drafted a relatively lengthy email, with my apologies, and sharing my thoughts and perspective of the past couple of weeks. I haven't sent it in yet. Am I just suffering from a huge lack of communication? Should I ask for her thoughts without asking for reconciliation, or should I make that known?

[BONO]

Do you want her back ?

[DN]

What was her reaction when you broke up with her?

[Penseur]

I want her back very much. She was warm when we first started talking, then she got cold and guarded after I broke it off. It was a civil talk. Frankly, I have no indication how she feels about it.

[DN]

I think it would be better to talk in person than by e-mail.