Life feels like I’m in a movie

[donewithit]

This is the short version, if the long version is necessary I'll add on (I typed it all up and it came out to 4 pages in Word so....)

 

Basically my fiance and I have been together for almost 6 years with no problems at all (small fights but very minor). About six months ago she started having issues with her family and fighting with them over little stuff.

 

Then four months ago she starts a new job. The new job makes it hard for us to see a lot of each other so she starts going out with people from work.

 

Suddenly two months ago she decides she doesn't love me anymore and wants to break up, after a couple weeks of going back and forth between begging and pleading I just let go.

 

She is doing her thing I am doing mine, I see her from time to time at her parents house (one of her brothers works for me, the other one is my best friend... and we've been having card night there every week for years).

 

She comes back to me after two weeks says she had dated somebody but it was really just a rebound and just wants to "work on herself for a while"... get to the point where she can "appreciate" what all her friends keep telling her is the "perfect relationship".

 

Now three weeks later she calls me up (on the day after what would have been our six year anniversary) and tells me she has fallen in love with someone else and is thinking of moving in with him.

 

Then the next day her cousin calls me up (they worked together) and told me she is uninvited from the wedding because she started a fight with her aunt and then attempted to start a fight between the cousin and her friend.

 

Then again the day after that I'm told that she quit her new job (the one she told me she loved so much), with no notice or reason just called up and quit.

 

Then two days later her brother tells me she has moved half way accross the country with a guy from work. They both quit their jobs, he left his wife and two kids and they decided to move 2000 miles away. (This is after they have been together less that a month, they have known each other for less than 4 months & our engagement has been broken off for less than two months).

 

Now here is my problem, I know No Contact is the rule of the land but this is not normal behavior for her, she has never liked being impulsive, doesn't just up and do stuff without planning it out... all her friends say "she's gone off the deep end", they "don't understand her anymore"... her family can not believe what she is doing... is no contact the best way to handle this? even though there is clearly something wrong (though she won't admit it)? and her friends & family have either given up or are at a total loss for what to do? Is it normal for someone to go through such a large personality shift in their mid-twenties over such a short time span (4 months)? I want her to be happy and if she is happy then fine I'll move on (over all I'm pretty happy with myself I've made it through before, I can do it again), but I really do love her and seeing what she is doing really makes me scared for her I feel like she is making a lot of dangerous choices.

[mactownman]

People change man. Nobody knows what's going on in her head. The fact is, she has done some very horrible things and is showing her true colors at this point in time. She is not the person you fell in love with. She completely disrespected you and your relationship. She emotionally (only emotionally?) cheated on you. She destroyed a household and a marriage. She is going to have to live with the consequences of her actions, not you. You must go no contact. What she has done, in my opinion, is unforgivable. You should be done with her forever.

 

My ex acted in a similar manner when we broke up. Going strong for three years. She changed ALOT in a short amount of time and left me for another guy. Burned bridges all over the place and is a completely different person now. She is 26. So yeah, maybe this is a common occurrence. Who cares, we don't need them.

[dali]

It's normal to feel that way when someone you love is making "rash" decisions, but I'd stay with NC and let her live your life and you live yours.

[capilot]

This is a textbook case of why you should stay no-contact, if you ask me. If she's gone off the deep end, it's her family's job to deal with her now.

 

Don't imagine that you can run off, follow her to wherever she went, and somehow "fix" her. Unless she had a stroke or something medical to make her act this way, there's no excuse for what she and this man have done to you and to his family.