Am I being delusional?

[Meriem]

I was talking to a friend and he told me that the reason for my ex breaking up and blowing hot and cold is that he's afraid of commitment, and it's not because he doesn't love me, for some reason that messed up with my head alot, it brought all those ideas of me going bak with my ex to "fix" things, I can't seem to get it out of my head! Help

[ChellyV]

how long ago was the BU and who initiated it? unless you will talk to him (and make sure you are ready when you do), you will actually never find out. i would say do it but get your act together first.

[Meriem]

it was 2 months ago, he initiated it, he disappeared for a week and then told me he doesn't think it will work out, he says stuff like a part of him wants me but he can't be with me

[TakingtheBlame]

If he's a commitmentphobe, how can you "fix" anything? The issue is with him, not with you or with the relationship.

[Stay_home]

Unless you're a mechanic, then you are delusional for trying to "fix" anybody.

[ChellyV]

yes, you will have to make a choice to be in a non committal relationship or not. then go from there.

[Meriem]

I don't know it's just hard to give up when you know that the other person might still have feelings for you it kind of messes with your head and makes me act crazy! I don't know what I want & I guess it's not up to me

So I should not contact??

[ChellyV]

yes it is up to you, my dear. our lives are up to our own free will not somebody else's.

if you are ready for a non committed relationship then go for it. if that is up for discussion, then go for it too.

JUST BE PREPARED. do not beg or plead to him, do not change the way you are just to suit him. it will build up resentment in the long term.

 

right now if i were you, i will stick to NC. it looks like you do need to heal first. allow that time and let the thoughts go away for right now. it is hard i know but just count the days of NC and before you know it, you are at a point of not caring. keep yourself busy with family and friends.

 

when the time is right, reach out if you still want and need to.