I realize I need closure.

[mb1]

Its been almost a month of NC since my ex told me she is moving out because she needs her own space to figure out her life. She was treating it as a break in the relationship, and I as a breakup. I told her I can't stay in contact with her because it would be too hard. During the period of her moving (I made sure to be gone) She wanted to meet and talk about things. I refused saying unless she is reconsidering there is nothing else I wanted to hear from her. So we never talked. Now I'm living a life looking towards the day she contacts me... Without the closure I feel like I will never be able to completely let go. Should I break the NC and possibly get the closure I need?

[guynextdoor]

MB1 don't expect closure from the ex, closure is found within yourself.

[ChellyV]

what was the reason for the BU?

[mb1]

she is younger than me. and she felt like she needed to discover herself.

 

the usual...

 

what was the reason for the BU?

[Zuri]

I don't have any advice to give you. I'm going through something similar. "I just need some time" ... that's what I was told. It hurts a lot. How are you holding up? Hopefully, better than I am.

[mb1]

probably not. it is deff better than the fist week, but now its just a constant twisting knot in my stomach. The more time goes by, the more anxious I get. you?

 

I don't have any advice to give you. I'm going through something similar. "I just need some time" ... that's what I was told. It hurts a lot. How are you holding up? Hopefully, better than I am.

[stuka80]

you will most likely never get the closure from her side. she will lie, manipulate and skirt around it but will never tell you outright. i learned this the hard way and decided that the closure was going to be that she's no longer in my life and i'm moving on. try to do the same.

[motleylou]

I like you needed to get closure so I called her 4 weeks after she moved out,and we met up and talked for a couple hours about everything that had happened. I left there feeling so much better and have since been able to move on. It was also nice to be able to breakup on good terms. Before that meeting it was pretty ugly,but we ending up leaving that meet up both saying I wish you the best in life and will always love you. A much better way to end it than a heated phone conversation. For me it gave me the closure I needed to move on,but it did set me back a few weeks in my healing process. But in the long run am glad I did it because it helped me move on. I wouldn't worry too much about being the one to initiate the meeting,if you feel it's right for you then just do it. But go into it with the mindset of getting closure and not getting back together,that way you won't feel worse when you leave if you two end up not getting back together.

[mb1]

thats good to hear. I dont think I'm ready yet to be set back several weeks though. i think maybe I should leave things as they are, and let the lingering hope coast me to healing.

[mb1]

i dont think it's like that. Like I said she offered to tell me whats on her mind, but i refused.

 

you will most likely never get the closure from her side. she will lie, manipulate and skirt around it but will never tell you outright. i learned this the hard way and decided that the closure was going to be that she's no longer in my life and i'm moving on. try to do the same.