17 and 21

[lindsayrae]

I am 17 and he is 21, we get alot of hate from people. Do you think us being together is that big of a deal?

[lana111]

i dont think so. i dated a 21 yr old when i was 17, but i was also a very smart and responsible 17, so not too many worried. but if the 17 year old isnt very responsible and has a track record for making mistakes... then id be worried.

[lindsayrae]

I am very responsible and smart, we have known each other for years because of my older sister and slowly started to fall for each other.

[lastcall23]

I don't think its a big deal. I was 16 when I met my ex and he was 21. Things didn't work out with us but I don't think it was the age factor at all. I wouldn't worry about people giving you heat. It's your relationship not theirs so the fact that they are so concerned is just a drain on their own time.

[reidqa]

I am 17 and he is 21, we get alot of hate from people. Do you think us being together is that big of a deal?

 

Depends where you posting from.

 

USA issue, Far East no issue, Middle East no issue, Europe issue.

[Rangafro]

Nobody here can accurately judge the maturity of you two, but hate is certainly not very reasonable.

[MyNinja]

when you're 20 he will be 24 and no one will care. Let me tell you why.......because you will be no longer labeled as a teenager and you'll be over 18. However, I don't see what the big deal is. It's all relative.

[OptomisticGirl]

when you're 20 he will be 24 and no one will care. Let me tell you why.......because you will be no longer labeled as a teenager and you'll be over 18. However, I don't see what the big deal is. It's all relative.

 

Bingo. It's all about how certain numbers don't look right rogether. My fiance and I are 4 years apart (I'm 23, he will be 27 this year) and nobody says a word. Now when I was 15 he would have been 19. See how that automatically changes people's perspectivies when you put those numbers together? In the USA it is no issue because you are over 16 which in most states is when the age of consent for sexual acts is (not saying you are doing that but that's one of the kinks most people have about people your age and older, the whole having sex thing).

 

I don't see anything wrong with it.

[FathomFear]

Bingo. It's all about how certain numbers don't look right rogether.

 

I wouldn't say it's that simple. It's not so much how 17 and 21 look different, it's the life experiences which typically occur in those 2-3 years. A 17 year-old is likely still in high school, whereas a 21 year old is likely in college--assuming he's still in school. I found that by the time I hit 21 I found it more and more difficult to relate to people still in high school. Just different stages in life. But as you say, a few years later this age difference isn't as signficant as both people will likely be at similar stages.

[OptomisticGirl]

I wouldn't say it's that simple. It's not so much how 17 and 21 look different, it's the life experiences which typically occur in those 2-3 years. A 17 year-old is likely still in high school, whereas a 21 year old is likely in college--assuming he's still in school. I found that by the time I hit 21 I found it more and more difficult to relate to people still in high school. Just different stages in life. But as you say, a few years later this age difference isn't as signficant as both people will likely be at similar stages.

 

I agree it also correlates to life stages and were the people are but at 23, I am no were near the life stage of a 23 year old, it's more in the later 20's. I have just never felt 'connected' to my age group. so then you have to take that into effect - the maturity of the 17 year old and lets be fair, no one is going to know that but the 17 year old. I have seen some very mature 17 years olds and some down right immature 17 year olds who act like they are still 11. But yeah, in a few years, the numbers or life stages won't matter as much because they will be on the same playing field.

[OptomisticGirl]

Damn having no edit button - but it's still largely about how hte numbers look. 23 to 27 you don't question the maturity of the younger person whereas in this age bracket, you do because 17 is still considered teenage.

[capilot]

I am very responsible and smart, we have known each other for years because of my older sister and slowly started to fall for each other.

 

The part about your older sister rang alarm bells in my head. What's the story there? Did he used to date her?

[lastcall23]

I don't think the age or "stages" of life thing goes at all. Men mature at a much slower rate than women, which is my guys tend to date younger girls because they age the act matches to the age of their S.O. I don't think at the age either of them are at, that the "life experience" thing comes into play yet. They just started that stage of exploring life (not that I don't think things could have happened to either of them that aren't significant in a relationship) but if they like each other and are willing to make it work, what other people say, just doesn't matter much..

[lindsayrae]

The part about your older sister rang alarm bells in my head. What's the story there? Did he used to date her?

 

No her husband is in the army same with him so she met him through mutual friends when he first joined then I met him through her and my brother-in-law