Am I in control of the situation? : s

[curious987]

So my ex bf who broke up with me 10 weeks ago from a 1.5 yr relationship, basically said to me that I'm making it extremely difficult, because with everything that I say, I'm pushing him away, and then pulling him back in, and he can't help but go along with what I'm doing. I don't really know how to take him.

 

I think he feels 'pulled in' when I say things like "I'm not ready to find someone else, and I'm not ready to move on. All we had to do was talk about things. No relationship just 'falls' into place. You have to work at it." So I think those are the kinda things that get him thinking 'Oh, what if?" sorta thing.

 

I also sometimes go through stages where I say things like "Yeah well our relationship wasn't worth me defending anyway because you went and screwed it up." and "Unlike you, I had genuine feelings." (I know, a bit harsh, but sometimes, I feel like he's being so unfair and he makes no sense.)

 

Basically, I want him back. He was very much in love with me. He says that part of him wants to be back in the relationship with me, but the other part doesn't. I guess its because he doesn't want the 'bad' parts to happen again. Hmm.

 

I know 10 weeks is still pretty fresh.

[mouseno4]

Wow... you are really negative. I can see why things happened the way they did. Being overly negative can and has killed relationships pretty quick.

[curious987]

I know I can be negative. But honestly....I'm the one trying to be positive about working things out and talking things through. He never even sat down with me to talk about what was frustrating him, because he was fearful of my reaction, and didn't know what I was going to say.

 

I think the main issue was the sex : s