Help

[shadosky]

Hi all, I'm new to this and am desperate for some advice.

 

First of all, I am guardian to my 13 yr old grandson, who has Reactive Attachment disorder. He has some behavioral problems, ranging from defiance to swearing at us etc. He used to be violent towards me but is not now. He has come a long way and we have had him since he was 4. He did spend some time in care, as his violence was out of control at one time.

It's been very hard on my husband and myself over the years.

My problem is, when things get tough, my husband yells and screams at him and me, and tells us to get out of the house. He also told my grandson to pack his things. The next night he told me my grandson needs to go,as he is either going to drive me nuts or drive me to my grave.

There is no one else to look after my grandson. It's my responsability and yes it's hard, but at the end of the day, hes my flesh and blood and I will not throw him out, and if my husband wants that, then I will leave also...

 

Do you think I am making the right decision by staying with my husband?

[Moontiger]

You are in a very hard position. You should be commended for taking care of you grandson like this, with all his problems it must be very draining.

 

The bottom line is you are this CHILD'S caregiver. You husband is completely out of line to tell a 13 year old CHILD to pack his stuff an get out. He is completely out of line to try and make you agree to throwing him out.

 

You are doing the right thing. This kid has no one else and if your husband cannot accept that, put his own ego aside, then the two of you are better off without him.

 

Good luck

[avman]

What kind of therapy is your grandson getting for his RAD? That's not something you can just let go. As you've seen it can lead to uncontrolled violence including bodily harm. I can appreciate you feeling it's your responsibility to look after your grandson but I have a lot of questions about what his therapist is saying (or if he even has one), whether you and your husband have talked to the therapist, what treatment programs he's in, whether your husband participates or is even willing to, and so on.