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Hoping things are going to get better...


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I've been dating a girl for 3 months and at this point she is starting to make me feel underappreciated and I've just been giving up on chasing her.


If I skip back to the start of the relationship, it started with a massive bang and the attraction between us was immense. After about 3 weeks there were the first sign of problems, massive jealousy from her end ANY time I talked to a girl. She made me delete posts that other girls made on my facebook wall and basically forbade me from even talking to other girls. She got angry with me once because she said an email I sent to my manager sounded "flirty". For the first 2 months or so, I was constantly chasing her and pleading with her when she was angry with me (even when I thought I had done nothing wrong).


Around a month ago something snapped.. I was just exhausted and had enough of trying to tend to what I think are unrealistic expectations of me. When she started acting jealous, or did her "running away from me" routine, I didn't chase. I didn't tell her I was sorry for things I didn't do wrong. I simply started ignoring her and when she wanted to talk to me I would tell her politely that I thought she was acting out of line and try to discuss it with her.. but she never wishes to discuss anything. A couple of times she got so upset I was not chasing her that she would start asking if I am dumping her. The relationship has done a 180 and I have gone from being the persuer to being persued. That wouldn't be so bad, but her attitude has not changed in being the persuer! She still starts fights with me all the time, the only difference is now she just flat out refuses to give me any space (I never felt like I needed any before).


She makes me feel very underappreciated. I try to help her with things and in the past few weeks I spent a lot of money on her, including buying her a brand new xbox so we can play on XboxLive when we aren't together. The xbox got shipped to her house and the day it arrived, instead of thanking me, she started stressing out about how it didn't have wireless. I was trying to help her solve the problem but she just hung up on me, saying I was talking down to her (I wasn't!). What a slap in the face for trying to do something nice for someone!


I am already feeling less attracted to her. She just blinds herself to my qualities, and the qualities of the relationship sometimes and focuses on the bad. When that happens I try to discuss, she won't talk to me. When she won't talk, I need space and she won't give it. I am really hoping it will get better but at this point I'm scared there is no light at the end of the tunnel, it's just going to get worse and worse.

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It sounds like your relationship has continued off of the basis of that first flush of excitement, before you really know someone.


You've made it clear that her jealousy and controlling nature isn't acceptable, but there hasn't been a change. It's up to you if her behavior is a deal-breaker. I would not honestly expect it to change.

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How old is this girl? She sounds very immature. Please tell me she's in her early 20s at most...


Waaaaay too much drama for three months in. This is supposed to be the part of the relationship where she's putting her best foot forward. If this is her best foot I'd hate to see her worst foot.

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She's 23. She smokes a lot of pot so I feel that has stunted her emotional development. Her parents treat her like an absolute princess (as did I...). I dunno, I feel like I've had an epiphany and I'm just going to break up with her when I get home tonight. Instead of being sad, I'm excited about how this will change my life... and I've only been with her for 3 months. It feels like an eternity.


I've had very few relationships but I have never been in one where we fight this much or had a partner which is so demanding. I've never broken up with anyone before so I don't know how I'm going to do it. I imagine she will break down crying and I won't know what to say. To be completely honest, I think she is aware that I am going to break up with her.

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