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A lot of fighting!


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My girlfriend and I of 2 years got back together in March after a year break which she needed to find herself. We have been back together which was great at the beginning but we have been fighting a lot. I think a lot of our fighting has to do with each others insecurities. How can we make each other feel more secure or does this need to come from within. She broke my heart once and I can tell this truly affects me when she gets mad because I'm affraid of her leaving. It's like we both feel like we are being judged by the other. We truly love one another and are not looking for a reason to break up but rather a solution that may help us get over this hump. Any help is appreciated.



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This is what she said in an email this morning in response to my apology and stating that I feel she is unhappy....


"I feel like I'm being judged by you every moment of every day. I don't want to feel like everything I say/do is being judged by "Is she happy?" How am I supposed to act around you? What makes you think everything I do is unhappy? Why can't I just be?


I feel angry and defeated when we talk things through and then things go back to the way they were:

making comments this morning about my mood

apologizing by email for nothing

fighting on the phone

having no solution before talking about it (why did you call? what were you searching for?)

I feel frustrated that we keep fighting all the time. I don't know what's going on. Is there a deeper issue? It makes me wonder if things will ever be okay."


I feel unloved and insecure in the relationship.....

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I also get the feeling that I'm being judged. She is also very critical which I told her does not make me feel loved when I feel attacked. She is a very blunt person. I don't know why I get the feeling that she is unhappy but it really affects me and I just want us to be happy together.

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