Please help need advice

[Jaded Tourist]

My ex and I broke up about three weeks ago. I've been doing no contact since but my ex has been trying to contact me so I finally gave in and talked to her she tells me she misses me and that she still loves me and how she still thinks about me and that she just wants to be friends. I was nice and just told her that I needed time to heal, and that I needed to get mind right and that ill text her in a month or so if I was ready she told me she hoped it was sooner than then. I just don't know if I'm handling things right to possibly get back with her. Just needed some advice to see if I actually still have a chance with her or do you guys thinks she's just stringing me along.

[KatAstrophy1607308539]

I'll hazard a guess that she's the one who ended the relationship? If so, dumpers sometimes get guilty feelings and contact the dumpee just to make themselves feel less guilty if they can show that they still "care." She says she "just wants to be friends." That's not the same as wanting to get back together. Until she makes it crystal clear that she wants to give the relationship another go, I'd not read much into it. If you want to remain friends, go ahead. But you're likely to get hurt. You cannot remain friends with an ex when your heart is still pining for them and wanting more. If you don't want to get hurt again, leave being friends alone until such a time as you're over her or when she clearly states she wants to reconcile.

[Jaded Tourist]

That's what I thought I'm trying not to over analyze things but its hard to do sometimes. I really hope to be with her again one day but I know for now the best thing to do is to give her space and let things work themselves our one way or the other. I just don't know how to react she keeps asking if I've found someone and if I'm over her yet I just dont know how to interpret these things

[LP90]

Unfortunately, what you got is just as KatAstrophy said. She either feels guilty and is throwing you "bread crumbs" and/or she is just like ANY person after a breakup. Im sure you also miss her, love her, etc. Those feelings dont just drop once you break up. Of course she will miss you and still love you. At the end of the day though, you simply cant be just friends with her if either of you still has any feelings for eachother. All that will happen is you will simply keep building up hope of being together again, will lead eachother on, not get what you want and only hurt eachother more. What you have done and are doign is THE best thing you can do. Stay full NC with her. If she really wanted to reconile and give the relationship another go, she knows where to find you and how to get a hold of you. Simple calling and texting is just to see where you are emotionally, its more of a test than an apology or sincere reach out. You both definitely need time apart before you can go back to eachother if thats what you want to do. You have to be comfortable with yourself and your emotions before you can invest them into a relationship again. The worst thing that can happen is being strung along, trust me i know. I was cheated on, lied to, and strung along for months after a 2 year relationship with the girl i thought was the only one in my future, obviously she didnt. She couldnt respect me even a little bit to at least have broken it off before moving onto someone else. All im saying is be very careful with whatever you decide.

[KatAstrophy1607308539]

Simple calling and texting is just to see where you are emotionally, its more of a test than an apology or sincere reach out. You both definitely need time apart before you can go back to eachother if thats what you want to do.

 

This, right here, is your answer.

[Jaded Tourist]

Thanks for the advice I'm gonna stick with the nc and see what happens.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Great advice. Good luck.