Looking for opinions

[sandmeyer]

Hi guys,

 

This is my first time posting on here. I was hoping someone might be able to listen to my story and give me their opinion. I know it's difficult to be objective from my position.

 

So my story begins about 5 years ago. I went away to school where I met my current girlfriend. She was in a 1.5 year relationship when I met her. We became close friends, we both fell for each other, and at the end of my freshman year they broke up and we started dating soon after. Before this, I've only had a few month-long flings and a girlfriend who I left at the end of high-school (more correctly, she left me). That was the first time I felt kind of depressed because I had strong feelings for that girl; but, I do realize I was young.

 

We've been dating for 4.5 years now, and I'm now 22. She's a great girl (with flaws like anyone else), I know I love her (despite how I feel lately), and she has a fantastic family. We get along really well, but I can't say we have a lot of obvious things in common. I'd say our relationship has mostly been ups. There's been some rough patches, but we've never broken up despite some heated arguments. Most of our arguments had to do with my family and then with her trusting me and giving me space. The family arguments are mostly gone now, and I think she has really made an effort to change the way she acts with them. The trust issues probably most recently really got to me, to the point where I was ready to call it quits. I generally have a quite a few girl friends. Several of them over the past several years have been interested in more than friendship after we became closer friends (my girlfriend doesn't know of this, I figured it would only add to her insecurity). Now, I've never done anything wrong in my opinion. Definitely have never cheated. Perhaps I'm guilty of putting myself in places I shouldn't. Either way, it makes it really hard when she is always asking if there will be these girls going when I go out with my guy friends. It causes me a lot of stress because I feel like have have to hide things from her just to have these friends who are girls.

 

So I had talked about the first time I was every "depressed", the second and third (current) I am hesitant to say are because of other girls. The first was a girl I met at a dentistry admissions exam. We talked a lot during the day (exam is very long with multiple breaks) and she added me to facebook. We had a lot in common (career aspirations, hobbies, etc) and we messaged on facebook for a couple of months. This eventually led me to question my own relationship. Did I like the girl? Yes. Did I realistically want to be with her? I don't think so. I think my thought was that if such a cool girl existed, maybe I was settling in my relationship. I'm only 22 is what I'm sure you're thinking. And I'm not saying my current girlfriend isn't cool. She's great. But is quite high-strung whereas I'm extremely laid back. Long story short, I tell her my feelings, without bring up this girl, big fight, but she wants to work through it. Things slowly get better, and I make the effort to stop replying as much to this other girl.

 

Number three is a little more recent. More background: I've always been going for dental school - I got into Pharmacy as a backup last year and rejected from dentistry. I'm currently in Pharmacy school, but got into dental school in a different province now this year. I am more or less forcing myself to go because I know I'll regret it 10 years from now if I don't. I love my new friends in Pharmacy school, and it makes it extremely hard to leave for that reason alone.

So I have a good female friend in pharmacy school right now. Great personality, athletic, plays the same sports as me. I recently found out shes very interested in me. Now again, do I like her? Yes. Realistic to be together? No, especially since I'll be leaving in 2 months. It just makes me again question if I'm settling. And it couldn't have come at a worse time.

 

All this brings me to my dilemma. I'm leaving in a few months to start dentistry and she wants to come and move in together. I'm feeling that if we do this, that is pretty much makes the decision regarding our relationship. After this, too many people would be hurt if we broke up (even more than I already feel it would). I my girlfriend a lot and I hate that I'm acting this way and feeling this way. I really do want the best for her, but I want to be completely positive about my decision too. All this uncertainty is unfair to her, but I just don't know what I should do.

 

Sorry for such a long story.

 

Has anyone dealt with anything similar and have any advice?

 

Thanks for listening,