Sweetkisses22 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 This is hard for me to text you right now and do this because I know you don't love or want me anymore. I ask you to please not bring my friends into this. I would never do the same. She is just looking after me. This is probably the last time we'll talk. I just want to let you know that I will always love you. No matter how many times you've screwed me over I can't help that I still love you. And i wish we could go back and change everything because I don't want to be without you. You mean so much to me. Idk how you can act like in desperate. After everything we went through I can't understand how you couldn't possibly love me anymore. I cherish every momment we had together. The good and the bad. Because that's what made us "us." I never wanted to hurt you or to be hurt. Im sorry for everything I may have done to hurt you and I hope your sorry for the same. If I had a chance id go back to the day we started fighting and try to handle it differently. Because I've never wanted to lose you. And I still don't. But it is what it is. I cant make you love me. All I can do is find a way to be okay with loving you without being with you. Im doing my best to try to forgive you for every time youve done something to hurt me. I hope you will do the same. Good luck with everything. Goodbye. ^^^ that is what I sent him. We have gone through a very very BAD BAD break up. We broke up 3Haha months ago but we were still on and off talking. We got into a huge fight the other day so we haven't been talking recently. I figured its over so I sent him this text. I figured if he really loved me enough to get back together he will respond. But he never responded. And in sure he never will since he would have already done so by now. Is this my cue to leave and move on? Why wouldn't he respond? He suposivly loves me so much and doesn't think he'll ever get over me. Link to comment
OrangeSlice Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Well how long has it been since you texted him? Also, why are you hoping he will respond and try to win you back? It sounds like you want to stay broken up with him but also want him to come back to you. Well I was with someone who sent me that message then I would see it as a clear sign that the relationship is over and try my best to move on. He might not respond as talking to you again right now is too hard to do. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Good luck with everything. Goodbye. This is probably why you're not getting a quick response, if any is to come at all. He's probably thinking that this is it, it's over, why respond? It will become a neverending cycle. (Offnote: This is a really long text by the way. I know that many guys will not take the time to read things like this if it carries on and on and on or goes more than five lines. Keep it short, simple and to the point.) If you never get a response, don't stress over it too much. You've said what you needed to say and you cleared the air of any confusion. Move on the best way you can just as he did. Until we meet again... Link to comment
ForumGuy Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 If I were reading this from an ex it would tell me that you are desperate and I can have you back any time I want. So what would be my hurry? Don't assume anything at this point, it has only been a few days. As hard as it is, just leave it be for several weeks or months. If he does love you, he will get back ahold of you. If he doesn't, you are better off without him. Continuing to contact him will only do more harm. Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 He's sent me long messages before too. We've both done so and read them. Im not worried about that. Do you think it really seemed like I wanted it to be over?? What I really wanted was for him to tell me he wanted to trying again. Without having to TELL him that directly. Ughhh I screwed the whole meaning of the text up..now it would look stupid if I texted back... Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 If I were reading this from an ex it would tell me that you are desperate and I can have you back any time I want. So what would be my hurry? Don't assume anything at this point, it has only been a few days. As hard as it is, just leave it be for several weeks or months. If he does love you, he will get back ahold of you. If he doesn't, you are better off without him. Continuing to contact him will only do more harm. You are probably right... im so heart broken. Link to comment
MyNinja Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 yeah, you should've just been direct. Much easier and closes any doors for confusion. You can't really condtion someone to say a certain thing with such statements. He may have taken it literally or he may just be taking some time to himself before he gets back to you. Let him contact you now as the ball is in his court. Any further text will make you appear desperate and confused Link to comment
flower888 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 yeah' date=' you should've just been direct. Much easier and closes any doors for confusion. You can't really condtion someone to say a certain thing with such statements. He may have taken it literally or he may just be taking some time to himself before he gets back to you. Let him contact you now as the ball is in his court. Any further text will make you appear desperate and confused[/quote'] agree. i am in the same position as you. he is giving me the silent treatment, so i phrased it such that he is the one who gave us up. don't text anymore, will only make you look desperate. when you don't look for him he will come looking for you. don't fan his ego anymore. Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 The thing is I originally broke upbwith him. He never did. I did it because he was mistreating me in many ways. We have just been fighting so much since the break up. We have said the nastiest things to each other. And it makes it all worse. When he wanted to come back I said no not until he tells me the truth. Well he would disappear then id try to get him back and he would ignore me. Then he'd come back again. It was a never ending circle. We both want each other but under our own circumstances. I love him SO much. Dispute everything bad that's happened and everything he has done to hurt me. I can't forget that we did have good times and we did love each other at some point. He is on the ignoring me thing again too. I know he will be back soon but I miss him now.. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 After reading this thread which you posted yesterday, I'm wondering if this is more about winning the war of rejection, or truly wanting him back? This is not meant to sound harsh, and you should give this some serious thought. Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 After reading this thread which you posted yesterday, I'm wondering if this is more about winning the war of rejection, or truly wanting him back? This is not meant to sound harsh, and you should give this some serious thought. ] Trust me I understand. I just really do love him. And even though im hurt by everything he's done. The lying the website..I stilllll love him and don't want to lose him. I know he did love me at some point. And I think he still does. I just want things to go back to the way they were. Maybe if we had a second chance we could fix everything..I must sound so stupid to everyone. But I don't think anyone could understand unless the felt what I am feeling right now. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I just want things to go back to the way they were. Maybe if we had a second chance we could fix everything..I must sound so stupid to everyone. But I don't think anyone could understand unless the felt what I am feeling right now. I'm not in your shoes, and I don't know how you feel. However, based on your other threads, he has lied about his age, location, his job and to add salt to the wounds, he's also cheated on you. My question is, how can you go back to "the way things were," when your relationship was all based on lies? Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted July 1, 2011 Author Share Posted July 1, 2011 I really don't know.. Idk but I want to start over. Maybe it was me? Idk. I miss him so much it hurts. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 If I were him, it would have made me uncomfortable. You put yourself down in it by admiting he has hurt you over and over yet at the same time continuing to tell him that you still love him. This tells him you are okay with how he has treated you. I am not surprised he did not respond. On the other hand, this is a good thing, given how he treated you. I know it hurts - but this guy was not good for you.... Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 What you describe of your relationship is not about love at all... Love isn't endless drama and lies and game playing with each other. You're addicted to the excitement of it all, and perhaps don't like feeling 'normal' without all the drama because it feels flat and boring. What you're describing is a very unhealthy relationship, and saying you 'love' him or miss him won't turn it into anything healthy. I suggest you get a little counseling to understand why you would cling to a relationship so full of drama and chaos and lies and cheating etc. That isn't love at alll, and you need to learn what love is about in order to have a happy life and healthy relationship. Link to comment
sunnz Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 He's sent me long messages before too. We've both done so and read them. Im not worried about that. Do you think it really seemed like I wanted it to be over?? What I really wanted was for him to tell me he wanted to trying again. Without having to TELL him that directly. Ughhh I screwed the whole meaning of the text up..now it would look stupid if I texted back... The problem is all you did in that message was put blame and criticise him while sliding in some nice bits to soften the blow...if you wanted him to respond you should have said what you really wanted and that is to try again... Say what you mean and mean what you say...men do not respond well to being shown their faults...your whole message was a big negative vibe...doesn't sound like you wanted him...but more for a reaction... Women on here need to take a different approach to getting their ex back...keep it light...positive...simple and relaxed...with a slow pace... The old saying Rome wasn't built in a day...and neither will a reconciliation...you need to take off the pressure...bring it down to earth...lighten the load and show your positive side...and most of all NO REACTION...to any negative...don't let them see you sweat... I have totally revamped my way of thinking when approaching the ex or interacting with him...and I've come up with nothing but positives...so i know what I have been doing is working compared to months ago where I let my emotions drive me...big mistake it never gets the man...back... Link to comment
Amarte Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 Being pessimistic in a message you send, will only get you a negative outcome. I was being emotional and told an ex, I wanted to see him to finally close his chapter....when this is the LAST thing i really wanted. Mind you, after that he doesn't seem very eager to want to meet me, even though he initiated further and closer contact.. Please be careful sending messages when you are emotional, you may actually sabotage yourself... Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 wow. such a similar relationship. how long have you been together? Link to comment
ngu11 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Good luck with everything. Goodbye. Is this my cue to leave and move on? Why wouldn't he respond? He suposivly loves me so much and doesn't think he'll ever get over me. To me, that was probably a bad move..firstly sending that kind of msg...and then ending like that. After a break up, more often than not, both the dumper and dumpee are in emotional states re the relationship and are unable to think clearly about what they want and feel about the PAST relationship. this is very important because neither of you deep down want that old relationship...it was broken. If you do, then you really need to spend some more time thinking about yourself. Whether we like it or not, the game is being played. The only problem is...we DON'T know the outcome that our ex wants...sometimes we don't even know what we're thinking so it's impossible to know what they are thinking. Would you reply to that message if it were the other way around? I think not. There is no sincerity in your communication and he knows that he can have you at any time. Where's the thrill of the chase? The reason why people do NOT get back with their ex has nothing to do with what broke them up...but everything to do with what happens AFTER the break up. Is it your cue? That's only for you to decide. What I mean by that is...do you want him back? More importantly...do you have the perspective and patience to get him back and build a new relationship which is far stronger than the old relationship? If yes....then you now have to create some distance between you and your ex...not to ignore them like the plague...but to create psychological distance between you and your ex for a period of time so that all the negative emotions can disappear and the attraction and curiosity can build back up. You can get him back...but first...you have to get you back...the most significant weapon in your arsenal to get your ex back is..... YOU. I mean, you were mad about each other at first right? THIS MEANS IT CAN HAPPEN AGAIN. Perspective and patience my friend. Good luck Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Listen to Lavender - she speaks the truth. I don't think you're equipped to know a healthy relationship from a toxic mess. He has cheated and lied repeatedly. Why would you ever want such a loser? You're a pretty and sweet girl. Aim a LOT higher than this tool. And fwiw, your text was a total blowoff - not an invitation to reconcile. But, I really think since you're not looking out for your own safety here, the Universe stepped in and had you send that text - just to make sure he wouldn't respond. Definitely consider some professional help. Wanting to go back to such a negative dynamic isn't the road you want to be traveling down. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 So are you saying that there is no other man in the world who can treat you well and not lie to you? Your self-esteem is in the pits right now if you think this guy deserves you. I think you really need to work on yourself and move on. Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 wow. such a similar relationship. how long have you been together? A year basically Link to comment
Sweetkisses22 Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 I can't Move on because I don't have solid evidence that he has lied to me all these times. I just feel there's a good chance he has lied and cheated. For example, the dating website I found he said that it was opened before I met him. And now that I look at it it kind of does look that way cause it says he was 21 and that was the age he was when we just met. It also says he just moved to where he is living now and wanted to meet new people to introduce him to the area. It seems like its out. Also the last login date says over a month ago. But even if its old. How do I know for sure you know? The suspicious is still there for me cause how do unknown he didn't make it when we were just getting together?? The lying is pretty obvious though. He has made up the most ridiculous things before and expected me to believe them. Even when I didn't have proof I know they were lies cause well it was obvious. I don't want that type of relationship back. That's not what I want. I want to build a better relationship. Because I know we did love each other very much. There are momments we had that could have never been faked. Or a lie. And he is very emotional when we break up. I know he loves me. He says he doesn't know how to show me that he loves me. He knows his mistakes but he said he true to fix them but doesn't know how or gives up when he seeing me always being angry with him. I am not addicted to the drama. Don't know where you got that from. Because I hate it. I can't stand it. My whole point of wanting to get back together was to start over without all the bull * * * * . And we have been broken up for 3 months. We were no contact the entire first month. Second month we barley talked. I ignored him and he was the one trying to talk to me. And the 3rd month which is now we have been talking on and off. He said he did want to try again bit we got into another fight and he has been ignoring me since. That's why I sent that text. I hoped maybe he would have responded saying I don't want to lose you either this way I could have said well let's try again. But he didn't.. I have not contacted him since. And I don't plan on It. I figure if were meant to be we will find each other again somehow. Link to comment
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