what's it like being that beautiful?

[John Cage]

This thread was prompted by clips I watched from the documentary "beauty in the eyes of the beheld."

 

I have a friend that I always thought was very pretty, but because of this she became really arrogant and guys would only put up with it for so long.

 

Do people consider you beautiful? Does that make you feel vain or insecure? Do you think it has made your life harder or easier? Anything else you would like to add? I realize that everyone's idea of what is beautiful varies, but I'm curious to see how people will respond to this thread.

 

People, especially soft liberal hearted people consider everyone beautiful. No. People are only beautiful when the majority of the population thinks that he/she is beautiful. This consideration usually come with peaks as well. For example, people would let you get away with more things if you learn how to smile and use your natural charm. That's almost certainly a sign that you are attractive when you can get out of tight spots with charm alone.

 

I know a lot of people like to believe that there's something "negative" with being too rich, too smart, too good looking... That's just people pretending to have an insight and maybe a bit of wishful thinking. All else being equal, it's always better to be richer, smarter and better looking. That's just simple logic.

 

The idea that good looking people must be vain or insecure is just wishful thinking. Yes, vanity exists, but sadly it exists in "not so pretty" people too. Believe me, if I am to put up with some vain girl, she better as hell as least be pretty enough to deserve it.

 

The point is while Beauty may not equal success in life or total happiness; it sure as hell make it a lot easier.

[John Cage]

...

 

Well, first of all, I doubt you are "ugly". There are three kind of people that others might call "Ugly"...

 

1) REALLY scary ugly people; maybe deformed or something... If you are in this category, you won't make the mistake or believing you are pretty... ever.

 

2) Moderately Good looking people with a quirk. Usually these people are 6-8 in "looks" scale but there's something that kept them in check. They are not model-skinny, they maybe have B cups instead of Cs, they may have slight type-cast type of beauty (like they might look punk-ish or they might look too gothic or too hippy... etc..). I suspect you are probably here. Beautiful people sometimes attack these people because they see something "pretty" but not the same as them, thus it triggers a hatred.

 

3) Goddess. People make illogical stab at her for being "ugly" because they just very very jealous.

 

Since 1 and 3 are polar ends of the spectrum, I am guess you are probably 2), which means you are probably 6-8 out of 10.

 

---

 

The thing about older guys liking you; that's different. Older guys are used to older women, thus they are comparing you with women their age. So unless you are hideous, you have a significant advantage over most women in their 30s. Youth is beauty. Older guys are also more mature and polite (in GENERAL, not all), so sometimes they are just being gentlemenly. The people who made fun of you at a bus stop... They really do act juvenile, there's virtually no way a grown man with decent upbringing would do such a thing.

[twentiesgirl86]

I expect you're right about the older men, but it's still nice to hear someone tell me I look nice. No one in my age group that I know of finds me attractive, so even if the older men are just lying to me by being gentlemen it's still nice to hear.

 

It's pretty much just my face though. My body, other then my belly looks good. And I was actually lucky enough to have C's. People always tell me my face looks more masculine than feminine.

 

If I could trade a day with a number 3 I would, just to see what it's like.

 

I think you're right though, people fall in those three categories. I would say I fall into category 2 as you say but under a 5 on a scale of 1-10.

[John Cage]

I expect you're right about the older men, but it's still nice to hear someone tell me I look nice. No one in my age group that I know of finds me attractive, so even if the older men are just lying to me by being gentlemen it's still nice to hear.

 

It's pretty much just my face though. My body, other then my belly looks good. And I was actually lucky enough to have C's. People always tell me my face looks more masculine than feminine.

 

If I could trade a day with a number 3 I would, just to see what it's like.

 

I think you're right though, people fall in those three categories. I would say I fall into category 2 as you say but under a 5 on a scale of 1-10.

 

Well, it's logical. There are FAR too many mediocre people on the planet. By definition, "average" is common (because in a normal curve, most people are average), thus it would be STUPID to make fun of "average looking" people. Therefore if someone makes fun of you it must be because either you are too pretty or too ugly; or you are pretty but with a quirk that people can attack. I know this really really hot (I am a guy, so when I say HOT, I mean it) girl who was called ugly by this group of girls in school. This group of girls are very average looking so I always wondered what kind of things could they be saying to someone clearly notches above them... Then I found out... the pretty girls was "too tall", lol. The point is that if you have a quirk, then even if you are above average pretty, girls will still try to make fun of you. It DOES NOT mean that they are correct. For example, being too tall is a PLUS, not a MINUS. Do guys tell you that your face is too masculine or do GIRLS tell you that? Girls say a lot of crazy things about other girls because they have other motives.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I would say I'm average looking but also attractive. I get attention from men but nothing extraordinary. I too wish sometimes that I were much more attractive, who doesn't? But I imagine that would have its own problems too.

That's something I think about; What problems being more attractive would cause. It would be very hard for me to accept the attention. I feel self conscious enough when guys give me attention, so I'm sure if I had more it would be taxing.

 

I honestly don't want anything because of my face, which is very hard dating because physical appearance is so much at the forefront of meeting people. I know the guy I went out with recently said he asked me out because I was so pretty, but to me the better compliment was when he said I was very interesting. I much prefer my mind to be the basis for evaluation. I'm more comfortable with my intelligence.

[CarnelianButterfly]

For example, being too tall is a PLUS, not a MINUS. Do guys tell you that your face is too masculine or do GIRLS tell you that? Girls say a lot of crazy things about other girls because they have other motives.

This actually reminds me of when someone told me my ears were too small. I was confused. I had no idea why they felt the need to poke fun at my ears.

[greywolf]

This actually reminds me of when someone told me my ears were too small. I was confused. I had no idea why they felt the need to poke fun at my ears.

 

Maybe people think that it's ok to poke fun at attractive people because it shouldn't be such a huge deal. When I was younger, people used to make fun of how big my chin is. I'd just laugh 'cause it's kinda true lol.

[John Cage]

That's something I think about; What problems being more attractive would cause. It would be very hard for me to accept the attention. I feel self conscious enough when guys give me attention, so I'm sure if I had more it would be taxing.

 

Well, that's an illogical conclusion. You are thinking what if you "suddenly" gain points in the attractive department and then you would feel this way; in real life, that's not how it works. In short, your current personality and history will CHANGE had you been born more attractive (I am not saying you are not, I am saying if you were MORE attractive). Your self-consciousness is obviously based on previous experiences and your view of yourself; this experience and point of view would be very different had you been born more attractive, correct?

 

Btw, love your avatar, it's cute

[John Cage]

I think you're right though, people fall in those three categories. I would say I fall into category 2 as you say but under a 5 on a scale of 1-10.

 

Just saw your pictures from your blog... You know what? You lost a lot of weight since you were 18 ! You also learned to take far better care of yourself, bravo

 

A pointer: find a good side/angle of your side and be conscious about it. In model school, they teach men to bite their jaws and tighten their brows to create certain "intense" looks and this is very similar. Focus on the good points and try to work with what you got. Because your face is bigger then average (I suspect you are correct that's why people attack you, for that quirk / imperfection), you need thicker hair and it will be best if the hair can cover parts of your face. Think Jennifer Aniston's haircut in Friends. The haircut cover up her larger chin perfectly and she looked beautiful. Try a long, think () shape haircut, I think that will give you a boost in confidence as well as in sex appeal. Another thing is that since you came from a larger body, I suspect you probably have better breast and butt than very skinny girls. You need to learn to sell your strong points. Wear form fitting clothing that's more flattering. Get a guy friend's opinion on it too, because what a girl think is "pretty" is different than what a guy think is "pretty".

[CarnelianButterfly]

Well, that's an illogical conclusion. You are thinking what if you "suddenly" gain points in the attractive department and then you would feel this way; in real life, that's not how it works. In short, your current personality and history will CHANGE had you been born more attractive (I am not saying you are not, I am saying if you were MORE attractive). Your self-consciousness is obviously based on previous experiences and your view of yourself; this experience and point of view would be very different had you been born more attractive, correct?

 

Btw, love your avatar, it's cute

I have been losing weight and as such have been becoming more attractive. The main goal of the weight loss has been for health and other reasons, physical attractiveness being changed is a side effect. My personality is not changing, I'm still the same shy person and have been getting attention that makes me uncomfortable.

[John Cage]

I have been losing weight and as such have been becoming more attractive. The main goal of the weight loss has been for health and other reasons, physical attractiveness being changed is a side effect. My personality is not changing, I'm still the same shy person and have been getting attention that makes me uncomfortable.

 

That's the point. Compared with people who are BORN beautiful. They had 20 some odd years to hone their confidence and social skills that comes with being beautiful. You just lose some weights. Give it more time, in a few years, you will get used to the attention and you will learn to enjoy it and worse... expect it

[twentiesgirl86]

Actually my hair is naturally thick, I just straighten it because it looks bad if I don't. It's get really frizzy and then people think I don't brush my hair. I actually used to have a slim face when I was really thin, before I gained a bunch of weight and I looked better then. I have pictures when I was 13/14 about the only time of my life when I really didn't think made fun of because I was at a new school. I didn't gain a lot of weight until I was 15. But I've always believed that if I lose weight in my face it might look better, but people tell me I am wrong and that facial features are set for life and it doesn't matter what I looked like at 13. I expect they're right. However, I've always believed like you that my face is too big. And also as you said I do have big breasts (36 c) and a huge butt. I also ahve a belly that I am trying to get rid of. I have a tiny frame now, big butt, skinny legs, and a belly that sticks out even though I work out constantly and eat healthy. Sometimes I wish I could go back to my 15 year old self and tell myself not to let myself gain weight from depression. I get the feeling I am always going to battle with my stomach just as other people have commented. I'm still counting on those last twenty pounds though to help out... as least I'm hoping they will, lol.