I want so badly to connect with people but I just can't

[LisaRoseP]

Hi I have posted before. Right now I am in my room and I am filled with anxiety. I can't stop thinking that people are somehow always insulting me or misjudging me or plain not liking me. I get very upset and when they explain that they meant no insult then I feel guilty that I thought badly of them. Then I feel anxiety. Then I worry that people will reject me because they will find out how sensitive I am. Every time I meet someone new I have high hopes they will not see my sensitive side. I always show it. They say something and I get hurt and wonder why people are mean to me. I have very few if any close attachments because of this. I have never had a boyfriend I am assuming because of this. All I want is to be happy. I feel like people do not want me to be happy. When someone says something that I get offended by then I think awful things about them and when they clear up what they just said I go back to thinking they are wonderful again. What's my problem?

[mouseno4]

How old are you if you dont mind my asking?

 

These things normally die down as you get into your 20's so once you learn how to deal with people, you get less and less hurt by what people say.

[LisaRoseP]

Lol Im 42. I have been like this since I can remember.

[mouseno4]

As far as im concerned, you are 'connecting' with me right now. So you know you can do it at least online. Use that as a way to build your confidence up to face the world.

 

What does not matter is what someone else thinks of you. What does, is how you think of yourself. If someone says something insulting to you, you need to ask yourself if YOU believe it to be true.

[LisaRoseP]

Thank you. Somehow someway I will be a whole person and not be so sensitive.

[WhoIAm]

It's okay to be sensitive I understand where your coming from. I tend to feel the same way at times and worry like crazy. I hope you feel better and I connect with you, because I understand where your coming from.

[NightLily]

Maybe this is an issue to go to a therapist for? Considering your age and that it hasn't become easier or better for you I would say it is time to work harder on this.

[mya]

I've had the same issue and therapy kind of helped. What really helped me was thinking ot myself that basically I cannot control how other people feel about me. I can only be the best person I am and the rest is uncontrollable.

[Java731]

Are you the type of person that wants everyone to like you?

If you are, I think it would make sense why you are the way you are.

You need to know that it's a big world that we live in. Some people may like you and some may won't. Stick to the people that do like you. Who cares about the ones that don't? You don't need EVERYONE in life now, do ya? Life's too short to be focusing on those that reject you.

 

Now, I would suggest you build up some confidence, and not worry so much about what people think of you or what people say to you.

Learn to love yourself, and accept yourself first before you hold expectations from others. The world will look so much difference once you have done so; you will no longer perceive others as saying negative things about you.

Don't try to focus too much on "connecting" with people, rather let things work out on its own.

[wicked6018]

i have always been like this. i only have ONE friend, and she is thousands of miles away. it really sucks. people tell me that i am overly sensitive and negative all the time, and it drives the * * * * out of me. i do suffer from depression. have you ever been evaluated for depression or other mental illnesses? there are medications that can help. (not trying to be offensive. just saying that i am similar to you, and i have depression.) also, it sounds like you are your own worst enemy. remember this, it's very important: if you don't love yourself, no one else is going to love you. you HAVE to love yourself. remember that you are worth it and you are just as good as anyone else. i hope you feel better, and good luck.