Is this the behaviour of a nice guy?

[frree]

If they call, text and e-mail constantly. If they want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

 

Apparently nice guys are very clingy right? Is that the type of behaviour you'd expect from a wimpy, passive person? Do you think that's neediness and possibly a feminine type of man?

[Weeb]

There's a difference between nice and a bit needy, and disturbingly clingy. It's one thing to want to spend a lot of time with a significant other (especially someone you are just starting to date), but when he resents time you spend with other people it crosses that line and becomes a problem. I don't think a nice guy would want to keep you from having a life away from him.

[LoveSoDeep]

This isn't a "nice guy" it an insecure one. Keeping in contact is one thing but if it's constant and he resents time you sepnd with others then he's got some issues, he's insecure or maybe even a bit controlling.

 

This reminds me of that commercial I see on MTV where this teenager keeps texting what I assume is his gf and the ending tag line is "when dose caring become controling?" Somtimes this kind of constant contact is really a way to control someone. Be careful.

[oldenoughtoknow]

There are lots of posts on this subject. What you described is needy and clingy, aka a doormat. Nice guys don't do that. They are generally kind and considerate - good qualities.

 

Don't be confused - a lot of doormat guys claim to be nice guys, when more accurately they are nice guys to an unattractive extreme, and they act that way for all the wrong reasons.

[MyNinja]

Ugh, I have a story about this one.

 

An ex from two years back wanted to spend every waking moment of every freakin' day with me. It was unnatural and I was weirded out by this guy's behavior. He said one day, "I know you will want to start hang out with the girls one day and I know this will be something I have to get used to..."...???...When should this ever be a problem? That NORMAL human interaction. I shouldn't have had to feel he was doing me a favor in "being ok" with me hanging out with friends.

 

What a sleezebag!!

 

Now that's disturbingly, needy/clingy behavior.

 

Until we meet again...

[StrawberryYogurt]

If they call, text and e-mail constantly. If they want to be with you every moment. They resent time you spend with your family and friends.

 

That's the behavior of a selfish jerk. All about me, me, me.

[frree]

Apparently it's the behavior of a sociopath. link removed

 

Read number 3. Just found it interesting that some of you saw that as doormat type behaviour.

 

And no, I don't act like that in case you wondering. just brought it out there because I wanted to dispell the nice guy myth, that only insecure passive guys are clingy.

[banal]

He's not a sociopath, though that particular behavior may mimic the behavior of one. He's just really needy and, yes, selfish. A nice guy is attentive of your needs, chief among which is your need to have autonomy and a life outside of the relationship.

[TakingtheBlame]

If this hypothetical person were a sociopath, he'd exhibit other sociopathic traits in addition to the ones you proposed, including some that would be much less "nice guy." People don't live in a vacuum. Doormat type behavior along with enormous ego, charisma and charm, and Jeckyll and Hyde personality changes, for instance, would by no means be mistaken for stereotypical "nice guy" behavior.

[frree]

If this hypothetical person were a sociopath, he'd exhibit other sociopathic traits in addition to the ones you proposed, including some that would be much less "nice guy." People don't live in a vacuum. Doormat type behavior along with enormous ego, charisma and charm, and Jeckyll and Hyde personality changes, for instance, would by no means be mistaken for stereotypical "nice guy" behavior.

 

Well Of course, I'm just saying there seems to be a misconception by some that only somebody with poor self-esteem can be clingy and obsessive. Not true obviously.