I think online dating isn't for everyone

[Happyhappyjoy]

I tried online dating and have had alot of bad experiences. It seems like maybe just where I live or maybe in my area alot of the guys are looking for quick hook-ups and not ready for relationships. I talked to my co-worker and she also tried online dating and said the exact same thing. Weird huh?? I guess what I am saying is if you aren't looking for a serious relationship and would like alot of booty calls then online dating is for you. I should clarify not everyone is like that I am sure but like I said in my area and certainly in my co-workers case there are alot of hook-ups and not serious relationships.

[Oneironaut]

Interesting...I see a lot of people vilify online dating and long distance relationships, thinking that people should stick to in-person only, which is fine...everyone is entitled to their opinion.

 

I am curious about something, however...you said,

 

It seems like maybe just where I live or maybe in my area alot of the guys are looking for quick hook-ups and not ready for relationships.

 

How will this be any different if you start seeking guys in your area personally, without the Internet?

[Kitkat973]

Where and how you're looking can change the experience that you have, but I agree it isn't for everyone. Very few things are.

[mouseno4]

Lol online dating as garbage. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just kidding themselves. "my friend met their so and so on a dating site" oh boo hoo. Wake up.

[Kitkat973]

Lol online dating as garbage. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just kidding themselves. "my friend met their so and so on a dating site" oh boo hoo. Wake up.

 

That's a rather grandiose statement to make. I assume my marriage of four years is automatically invalid? Will have to let my husband know that, thanks for the headsup!

[coastalgirl]

I have been on dating sites for years and have never met anyone that way, but more than I have on my own. I think there are people in who just want to hook up, some lonely hearts, some desperate, some nice people just looking to meet another nice person. It all depends.

I have been on eharmony for almost a year, 1100 matches and have only been contacted by a small number of guys. They appear to be looking for a woman ten years younger than me.

I'm looking for someone my age up to five years younger and don't want to meet someone much older than me. Kind of shallow I agree so I will not complain about guys passing me over looking for someone younger. I'm doing the same thing. In real life, I have never dated anyone older than myself, always younger. It has just worked out this way. So I guess I look for younger guys online or the same age too of course, just not a few years older. Not sure why, I have never gone for older guys even in my younger days.

Online dating is unnatural in my opinion. If feels more like a meat market than going to a bar. I do not like it at all. Which is why I have not met anyone as when someone does respond to me I find all kinds or reasons that they are not my type.

 

I want to meet someone by chance and I guess it will happen that way or it won't.

Funny though, my son in his late 20's and met his current girlfriend online and they are very happy together. It worked out great for them but they are embarrassed about how they met and

asked me not to tell anyone.

 

It can work, and it has done for many, just not for me. That is why I will not be renewing my eharmony subscription.

[coastalgirl]

I have been on dating sites for years and have never met anyone that way, but more than I have on my own. I think there are people in who just want to hook up, some lonely hearts, some desperate, some nice people just looking to meet another nice person. It all depends.

I have been on eharmony for almost a year, 1100 matches and have only been contacted by a small number of guys. They appear to be looking for a woman ten years younger than me.

I'm looking for someone my age up to five years younger and don't want to meet someone much older than me. Kind of shallow I agree so I will not complain about guys passing me over looking for someone younger. I'm doing the same thing. In real life, I have never dated anyone older than myself, always younger. It has just worked out this way. So I guess I look for younger guys online or the same age too of course, just not a few years older. Not sure why, I have never gone for older guys even in my younger days.

Online dating is unnatural in my opinion. If feels more like a meat market than going to a bar. I do not like it at all. Which is why I have not met anyone as when someone does respond to me I find all kinds or reasons that they are not my type.

 

I want to meet someone by chance and I guess it will happen that way or it won't.

Funny though, my son in his late 20's and met his current girlfriend online and they are very happy together. It worked out great for them but they are embarrassed about how they met and

asked me not to tell anyone.

 

It can work, and it has done for many, just not for me. That is why I will not be renewing my eharmony subscription.

[mouseno4]

Truth sucks don't it. Not everything in life is that easy.

 

Oh and for coastal, don't cut us younger guys out intentionally.

[Oneironaut]

Lol online dating as garbage. Anyone who thinks otherwise is just kidding themselves. "my friend met their so and so on a dating site" oh boo hoo. Wake up.

 

If you're going to make such sweeping generalizations, be prepared to back them up.

 

Prove online dating never works. Prove there are no successful relationships anywhere that began as a result of online dating.

 

Oh, and don't forget, there are 3 examples of successful online relationships on this thread alone, so...good luck proving that they never work, I suspect you're going to need it.

 

I'll be waiting for your evidence.

[truegrit]

Make that 4 successful relationships I met my husband 8 years ago on yahoo personals and we have been married almost 7 years. It works for some and not for others but it can work!

[sidehop]

I see online dating much like trying to find a job; for some it may take some time and for others they may find their partner quickly. All depends on so many variables.

[puddlejumping]

I see online dating much like trying to find a job; for some it may take some time and for others they may find their partner quickly. All depends on so many variables.

 

That's true..... Add me to the list of success stories. I met my husband online 9 years ago, we've been married for 7.

[BeingMeStudio]

Hum, I am presently trying out online dating. I guess it's all about being somewhat cautious, realistic and open minded.

One thought I do have however is that people are behind a computer initially for a reason. I have found it seems to involve various insecurities esp men. Each one having their own issue.

 

For me I have been forced to ask myself why I am doing the same thing.... My answer is down to all the hurt I have experienced and online dating provides a safe link for me , in my opinion to re engaging with people, without the added complications of getting too involved.

Furthermore I have experienced that you can have the most time emailing someone, all the vibes feel right and then it goes flat on meeting up.... There can be something quite thrilling in the chase and that maybe is all it will ever be with that person. I have learnt to appreciate that in itself ....

[SS01]

yeah for myself, ive had a positive experience, and im a Average guy in person, been told im NOT photogenic and to be honest with ya, my wife ( i met her through POF) she didnt even like my profile pic AT ALL but when we met in person, it was like the online profile didnt matter anymore, and she said i was alot more personable, charming in person...

 

so i guess its natural for people to say it sucks if you have bad experiences, but i can say keep whatever options you have opened, regardless of however small your chances may be..

[Fudgie]

I think it's just another way to meet people. May not work for all but it's another way.

 

You can't discredit the success stories. It just goes to show that it can work. It will be different for everyone and it may not work for you, but then again, it may.

 

I think the issue with online dating lies in meeting them in person. If you're just going to continue having a cyber-only relationship, well, that isn't going to end up happy 99.9% of the time. Online dating is that you MEET someone online and then quickly progress to meeting and having a normal, physical relationship in time. After that, it's really not that different from other relationships which start "in person".

[Adele]

I met my fiance online. It wasn't a dating site, and we definitely weren't looking to date people we met online, but... our ideas changed fast. There are exceptions to everything. I think it usually doesn't work that way, but it can. It worked for me.

 

Oh, and Fudgie makes good points. After you meet in person, it isn't any different from other relationships besides the fact that you may have to adjust to each other a little more than if you met in person at first. You get ideas about how someone is if you talk for a long time online, and then you have to adjust to how they are in real life... but this doesn't have to break the relationship. It just makes it real. You have to adjust to people you meet in real life too the same way.

[wsim]

Well... after 2 years with nothing to show for it, I decided to delete my POF and give up online dating.

 

It has never worked for me. I gave it more than a fair shot and failed. Time to move on. I'm going to try and meet more people offline.

[so confused 2]

I think it all depends on how you approach it. The same can be said if you go to a bar or a club, or even if you go to some kind of rec sporting event. IF you approach it with the idea of 'I want to hook up with someone', well that's what you'll find and end up doing. But if you approach it with the idea of 'I'm here looking for something moral', well you will weed out those who are there for other reasons and eventually find what you're looking for.