Help!!

[Faith1986]

Because I feel like I can't speak to anyone close to me about this, I decided to use this as a way to let it all out about my current situation. Any advice/comments are welcome here please! So here it goes.....A year and a half ago I started talking to a man (through a social site) and we hit it off immediately. We took every minute we could to learn about each other and then it was about a month into speaking that we decided to meet. The distance between us is roughly 175 miles so we met half way in a public coffee shop. After meeting we were drawn to each other and a couple months later decided to actually date. Early on, we fell in love and it has been a solid relationship since. We would meet up as often as we could (usually it was on the weekend every 2-3 weeks). When we started dating he was open with me with the fact that he was still married but separated (living with his sister while his wife stayed in their house) and that they had children together. I accepted that as I know how complicated things can be and he had married at a young age and fast and when you're young, it's easy to make a mistake. I too have a child but never married the father and we are on great terms. Through out our relationship it was very easy. No arguments, we trusted each other. We spoke multiple times throughout every day. He has met my family (including my child) and my friends. I met one friend who he's not very close with and I met his kids a few times. When I met his kids, I also brought my child and we did play dates. We did not show any affection towards each other as to not confuse them. We wanted to just see how we all got along in a basic setting. Because I knew he was still in the process of a divorce, I believed there was good reason for not being able to really meet anyone so I never questioned it. I didn't want to jeopardize him loosing his kids. Just recently though I found out some information and I confronted him. One being that he wasn't the age I thought he was. He's actually 2 years older. He confessed after I asked him multiple times and told me that he's been wanting to tell me but has been afraid to. I clearly stated to him that it was upsetting not because he was 2 years older but that he didn't feel he could tell me something that wasn't a big deal at all. I also found out information that he was still living with his wife and kids under the same roof. After questioning more about this, he confessed but tells me that he slept on the couch. I do want to believe him but I'm also having a difficult time because I feel like it's been a year and a half of lie after lie. I know for sure that they aren't living together now and that they are still going through with the divorce but my concern is if there's anything else he's not being honest about. We've talked about living together (me moving to where he lives) and before making a drastic decision like that, I just want to know that he's completely honest with me now...I have faith in our relationship. I truly believe that he cares about me and loves me but my mind is at battle with my heart. I just would like to hear any thoughts. Thanks for reading.

[mhowe]

Listen to your head. He's lied to you 2x, one small, one huge. And you don't live close enough to catch any of the others. No way should you uproute yourself and child. Move on...

[Benville]

Agreeing with mhowe here unfortunately.

 

Dishonesty is the bane of all relationships in my opinion (having been on the receiving end, and recently finding myself being the dishonest one too).

 

You COULD set yourself a limit of one more chance, but that has to be your decision and you'd have to stick to it.

 

It's too easy for us to say "let go and move on" when we're not the ones with the feelings, but ultimately you have to trust your own instincts on whether you can trust him again.

[Hollyj]

He's a lier! How can you trust him, plus you are bringing your child into this environment.

 

I DO NOT believe he was sleeping on the couch. Heard this many times before.