Still in pain

[diarmuidz]

Why won't the pain go away!?!

 

I don't use FB anymore - and with good reason... but tonight I was on my friends laptop and my friend was logged in, and before I knew it I was looking up my ex-GF's profile. It was painful actually, I shouldn't have done it. There was no new info there, but just seeing her enjoying life, having a good time without me was difficult. I just need to vent now!!!!

 

About two months ago, my girlfriend who I loved immensely, said we should go on a break. I didn't want too, and realized that break actually meant break-up... I was devastated, asked her to reconsider. We discussed everything at length, but her mind was made up and I couldn't persuade her otherwise. I spent the next few weeks attempting to keep the lines of communication open. I felt at the time, that chances of reconciling are better with at least some contact than no contact. All of a sudden, her affectionate and sweet emails, phone calls and texts stopped and she became diplomatic and stand-offish with me. It hurt. Where did my loving girlfriend go and who was this cold person in her place? I reached out, about once a week, and she'd always reply but in a very minimal way, only addressing whatever I talked about or asked, and never carrying it forward.

 

At the end of May, I asked her if she was still planning to attend my graduation, since I had secured an extra ticket for her. When we were together, she eagerly looked forward to being there in person when I received my degree on stage. And even though we had taken a "break", I still harbored hopes that she would attend. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, she wrote me back explaining why she couldn't attend, but that she was proud of me. I wrote back thanking for giving it some thought, and we have been NC since. I have forced myself to pull back and not reach out... and she apparently feels no need to reach out to me. It hurts. It's been almost a month now.

 

I miss her SO. MUCH. Sometimes I've found myself crying this past month. We were so good with each other up until the break... Why did things have to go this way? I have just discovered this forum this past month, and it's helped me, especially reading about other peoples' stories and advice. I will stick to NC. I will focus on myself, and try to make the life for myself that I want. But... I still hope we can reconcile. I want the pain to go away!!!! The easiest way would be for her to come back to me... but I suppose that's not going to happen anytime soon..... if at all.

 

There's been so much that happened between us - we were planning out engagement, and often talked about what married life together would be like. So much has happened between us that I just can't "be friends", or go on the backburner, or be the fall-back guy. In this case I guess it really is all or nothing.... sad how it came to this point. I just want her back.

 

I don't know if we'll ever be together again, and I know if we don't I'll eventually be over it, but right here, now, the pain is overwhelming.... I feel myself drowning in it.

[cleanheart]

its jst lyk reading a sad love story but its also nice to know that out there ,there are some guys who can truly love someone with all of their heart n u are a proof of that.i cant promise you to close your eyes and all that pain and memories would be gone but i think i can help you with some advice that can minimize the pain.

try and find a new hobbie,something that you can enjoy and look forward to do...it can be from anything as vlong as you enjoy it,another one is what you ave started doing;reaching out to people,remember no man is an island...talking and sharing what you fill with others does help a big deal..lastly love yourself,dont try even for a second to blame yourself for what happened,invest in your personal growth and happiness and you never know in the process you might find her coming back to you or you will get someone better.i live and stand by the quote that nothing is an accident..everything happens for a reason,you might not see it now but someday you will look back and sy..'so thats why it happened'

 

you were able to live without her before you guys met so am sure you can do it all over again.good luck to you

[Zuri]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through such grief. Yesterday was my day 1 of NC. Day 1. It felt like 100 years. I cried all night sat, all day sun, and pretty much all day yesterday. I can't focus on anything let alone find a hobby. I don't have any advice for you. Just letting you know that you really are not alone. The man that I cherished, that I honored, that I loved just stopped loving me and doesnt want me anymore. He rather be "free" and single. I don't make him happy anymore. It's the hardest pill I have ever had to swallow. I'm horrified to read that after a month or even two or three months that I still may feel like this. Keep posting your feelings as I will continue posting mine. Maybe, just MAYBE it will speed up the healing of both our hearts.