Something that's been bothering me for some time....

[sephi7ac]

So, I'm honestly not sure if something like this has been posted in another thread, but I have to ask for myself anyway.

I'm a 26 year old male, and I'm not sure what to think about my sexual preference. Here's what's going on:

 

I love women, always have always will. Love everything about them: form, parts, softness, everything. But, honestly, *takes a deep breath* I like guy parts too. But that's not the issue. See, I like the guy parts, but don't find myself attracted to guys, at all. Emotionally, I connect with anyone, and gender plays no part, however, I don't know if it's just a mental hump or what, but I don't find the male form attractive. But on the flip side, the idea of being held in a guy's arms makes me feel good. Warm, secure, and all of that. So, I'm just confused about the matter. I've been with a guy once, it kinda just happened, so that's how I know about the parts bit. But I, for some reason, can't bring myself to actually see a guy like that, or be with him. Which makes me feel bad, because I actually hurt someone I cared deeply for just because I couldn't get over the fact that they were a guy. I photographed the Pride event yesterday, got hit on by some good looking guys, but reluctantly, and yes, it was actually reluctantly, turned them down. Anyway, I'm kind of rambling at this point. I just need thoughts and opinions.

[mouseno4]

Have you considered the possibility of being bisexual? What happens when you think of the possibility of sleeping with someone of your own gender, as opposed to one of the other?

[lukeb]

Ultimately it is not important what my thoughts are but here it goes. I think you are fooling yourself into saying I don't like guys, I just like their parts especially when you admit you feel "good", secure and all that being held by a guy, and reluctantly turn down good-looking guys at a pride parade. There are a lot of men out there who don't consider themselves gay who enjoy sex with other men, it is just that they say that "they don't like men that way" If this is how they want to live their lives who am I to say that they are wrong. I don't believe you can really separate the people from their parts, and say I emotionally connect with people but not their genders. When you emotionally connect with someone you connect with that person and all of their parts.

[BlueMilk]

Don't hit flame me for this but ever considered she-males or pre-op transexuals? They seem to have the best of both worlds for you (female softness, male equipment, can be strong and gentle.)

 

I am not joking, she-male pornography is one of the most popular kinks in modern society, and nearly 80% of the fan base are heterosexual males, if not more. Sooo, there you go.

[sephi7ac]

Thank you Mouse and Luke. It's honestly something that's been in the back of my mind for years. But being born and raised an old fashioned christian male, such thoughts are generally just tossed aside until the reach a breaking point. I don't know why though, but the thought of admitting it scares me, and even though I know a lot of people who'd be behind me, I'm not sure I could bring myself to actually tell anyone in person.

 

Blue, I know it's not a transsexual fetish, honestly more often than not I'll find a guy more attractive than a transsexual, but thank you for the suggestion.

[FathomFear]

The whole "I find guys somewhat attractive but can't fathom being romantically intimate with them" is a relatively common sentiment from people who are in the early stages of coming to terms with same-sex attraction. I went through the same thing when I was initially coming out. While I acknowledged that guys were attractive I told myself over and over again that I could never kiss one, date one, etc.

 

Ultimately, this kneejerk reaction was just due to homophobia which went away over time. It takes time to warm up to the idea as most of us have spent our entire lives thinking that it's wrong or immoral. It's not always easy to overcome these thoughts, but they usually do subside.

[BlueMilk]

I wonder, during this stage (where you find men attractive but would never date one) do you guys still find women attractive as well? I mean eventually if you're fantasizing about men just to get it up it to be with your girlfriend/wife it should be a pretty clear indication...

 

Unless you are bi I suppose, in which case both sexes would be fine.

[sephi7ac]

Thanks for the support FathomFear. And thankfully I'm blessed with friends, online at least, who support me fully, and one even saw it coming. *laughs*

 

BlueMilk, my attraction to women has never altered or faded. I love women, possibly too much. But having experienced a few things throughout my life, I've come to the realization that I like men too, and that It's mainly the personality I connect with, and not the physical sex. Even though, I still have issues accepting it, looking back and talking to friends who know me, it's honestly a slap in the face that should have happened a long time ago. But still doesn't change how hard it is for me to accept it.