Positive feedback after breakup

[motleylou]

Hey everyone, so these boards are mostly filled with horror stories of past relationships gone bad. Like myself I was there not too long ago,but have since just about come to peace with the breakup and everything that went along with it. I just want to hear some people's own experiences in how a breakup that seemed like the end of the world turned into a positive. What you learned and how you turned a truly devastating event into a positive?

 

I'll start...Long story short, My ex gf broke up with me 7 weeks ago after an 8 month relationship, thought she was the first one that I was really ready to have a LTR with (were 24 and 23 y/o). She moved in with me 1 month prior to breakup into my parents house, we lived 1 hour away. She was just as excited as me to move in together and even pushed for the move in date to be sooner than I wanted. So I do believe that she was really into living together, it wasn't like it was all me or I put an ultimatum on it. Turns out she cheated on me just 4 weeks after living together and 2 days after a couples vacation that went awesome and was very romantic. She fed me all the line's through out our relationship,all the I love you's, I can't wait to start a life together, what will we be like when were older...... Even just one week prior to breakup told me that I was the best thing about the vacation and all that.

 

Then the breakup came and she told me that she wasn't sure what she wanted, she needs to figure her life out and just wants to be single for awhile. I said ok i'm fine with that and respect your decision. Fast forward 4 weeks and I finally find out from a mutual friend that she cheated on me, then just 1 week ago found out she is now in a new relationship and not with the kid that she cheated on me with. Believe it or not it actually made me feel better because I saw her true colors and know that I deserve better. At first it did upset me but after a week of thinking about it, it actually helped to know that I'm not missing out on much if she is that type of girl that can say all those things to me and then just jump into a new relationship, it's not who or what I want.

 

I was really down and depressed basically up until this week and finally I said man this chick isn't worth your suffering you treated her really well even after you found out that she cheated and always was a class act. There are lots of other girls out there who won't take for granted what I have to give and will really appreciate me.

 

I have learned A TON about myself and relationships in general, and now am glad that I went through this because it will make my next relationship hopefully with the right girl a lot easier. I won't let the relationship move so fast and will look for red flags that were there but I had the love goggles on. I also will never be taken for granted again, if someone's not treating me right and doesn't respect me, and now I truly know what it's like to not be respected in a relationship then they are out or I will talk about it with them. I learned that I really am ready for a serious committed relationship and I learned that overall I am a good guy and a good bf. I have worked on myself and I realized that put to much of myself into a relationship too soon and let to much of my happiness rely in my partner. Never again will I depend on someone else to be happy. As much as the heart ache did and to a degree still does hurt I was able to come out a better person and am actually glad that this happened.

 

Anyone else with any other stories feel free to share, I 'm interested in reading peoples experiences and how the turned a negative into a positive.

[nsomnia912]

She's outa my life......can't get more positive than that.

 

Ok ok ok.....

 

I'm learning French

 

Into martial arts

 

So much money I don't know what to do with it.....I donate it to churchs.

 

Learning guitar

 

Buddhism/ Zen/ meditation

 

All debt paid

 

New booty!

 

What doesnt kill you makes you stronger......one step closer to infallable?

 

Gained 10 lbs of muscle and still going

 

My writing has improved, completeing books.

 

But i have to go back to the biggest positive that has improved my life..

SHE IS OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!

[motleylou]

I hear ya on the money thing it's nice to be able to go and spend some money on myself or only have a $20 dollar restaurant bill instead of a $40. I can't wait for the new booty, hope that comes sooner than later lol. Congrats on moving ahead!

[Carus]

The best thing for me is that I will NEVER again do the things I used to do when faced with a breakup*

 

And by being forced into solitude I have learned a lot about myself, the reasons my RS's have failed, and strengths I never knew I had*

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)