its been a month..now see a picture and she posts shes in relationship w/ my ex!

[obx]

Hey - I first posted in the breaking up section for advice back in mid-May. Basically found out through my boyfriend's facebook (yes i logged onto it but look what i saw) he had initiated contact with a friend to set him up with their friend and said he had broken up with me. He then started talking to this girl on there..telling background history..setting up a meeting to get a few beers..even inviting her to the lake and exchanging numbers....we weren't offically over! We had a fight where we each said "well Im breaking up with you"..real immature..then a day or so later he calls and says no - we arent broken up and we can work things out..he misses me and loves me. And its supposedly fine.

 

But I saw what I saw on facebook (facebook is the destroyer of relationships i believe..ugh) Long story short..he knows I saw that he was wanting to meet her..He doesnt know I saw about actually talking and meeting up. Well we went a week with out talking..his decision. Then I went over and decided to get my chairs and key. Gave him an opportunity to come clean about wanting to see her..he denied it. He said he was still unsure. about us...he was still acting like he wanted to be with me but also like he didnt want to be with me. ok - I guess he had already made his mind up that it was basically over when he initiated contact with her right??

 

Well the day after Memorial Day I go over and ask for him and I to work it out..he says he doesnt want to give me false hope and basically says its not working with us. He was kinda nice but not really about it. I gave him a four page letter and picture cd to try and win him back..haha..think it worked..no. Tried NC..

 

Well June 4 he writes me a facebook message instead of text and just says hey - hope u r doing ok. I was trying to do nc but on June 10 I wrote back..Im ok..hope u r doing ok? we had a few back and forth texts but it was mostly me initiating and not him. Then the next week I text for him to talk for a minute..I get texts just saying how busy he is..but he responded and I was thrilled..haha. But he was just being decent and giving me short answers back. Last Monday he did talk to me more 20 min but that turned into me telling him i loved him and missed him..he said he missed me "sometimes." he didnt say i love u. well yesterday I ask him if he doesnt want contact or to be friends..just tell me..he was like i want to be friends...do u want to meet up after softball tomorrow..(which is tonight) i say ok. ******This morning I see a pic of him and this girl from friday night..looking happy..her hand on his leg...she posts she had an amazing weekend..she signed up to do crossfit (like he does!) and a race (he is doing) and posts she is in a relationship!!!! **********I am assuming with him! he never even changed it since me.. so it still says in a relationship too!!! I am freaking out. I finally called to talk to a counselor later this week..I just cannot deal. This girl is really pretty..has a good job..etc and i cannot stand thinking of them together. He hasnt told me..I guess I'm just supposed to know...

 

Here is my main question...I guess he has moved on right and I shouldnt contact him? Im not holding my breath that he is going to contact me tonight..because this morning i texted "u honestly want to meet up later" and he say "sure--but real quick" I said what? like 2 min quick..he said maybe 3. * * * . In texts he would still call me his cute name for me and wasnt mean and says he wants to be friends..but now i know what i know!

 

***How do you deal with the image of your ex with someone else? how do u cope? Is he ever going to admit whats going on to me? I dont want to tell him i know what i know because i saw it thru his fb. He thinks I dont know I guess. ((I know it is wrong to look on his fb..by the way..so please dont throw that at me)) Did he really move on that fast?? I guess she did with him at least! DO you think it will last?? He was still with me when he started it...why cant guys breakup up and be alone with wanting to "be back in the game" as he was quoted. I do agree that we needed a break for me to realize what was wrong and how to fix it! and im working on myself..but i just wanted us to have another chance. obviously he is not having it right? Im scared for some reason that it will and be great and they will get married..seems like she is trying to show him they have so much in common..and both from the same state originally..ugh. sorry if i sound crazy!

 

thanks for listening to my rant! any advice??

[obx]

Do you think things would have turned out differently if I had done anything differently?? I have so many regrets from when it first started..etc. Do you think me not doing the no contact thing messed things up? like not causing him to miss me..did i bother him?? or did it do no difference..like he is going to do what he wants to do...?? what should i do from here on out i guess..... and why do i have this (stupid) hope that he will come back to me one day. My brother and his ex got back together after 8 months..should i not hold onto that hope? he just has been sending mixed messages to me..saying yes he wants to talk to me..meet up..but then he doesnt act like he wants to. thanks.

[TakingtheBlame]

Why would you want to be with a guy who basically went behind your back to date another girl before he officially ended things with you? That's really shady. If you ever got him back, would you even be able to trust him again?

 

If he does come back to you, my guess is it won't be for the right reasons. He sounds scummy, to be quite honest.

[Hollyj]

Why would you want to be with a guy who basically went behind your back to date another girl before he officially ended things with you? That's really shady. If you ever got him back, would you even be able to trust him again?

 

If he does come back to you, my guess is it won't be for the right reasons. He sounds scummy, to be quite honest.

 

I agree!

 

Why are you blaming yourself! This guy has been a cowardly weasel and has been stringing you along. He is not your friend, as friends do not treat you this way.

Girl, get your dignity back and go NC forever! This guy does not think about anyone but himself!

[Hollyj]

Why would you want to be with a guy who basically went behind your back to date another girl before he officially ended things with you? That's really shady. If you ever got him back, would you even be able to trust him again?

 

If he does come back to you, my guess is it won't be for the right reasons. He sounds scummy, to be quite honest.

 

I agree!

 

Why are you blaming yourself! This guy has been a cowardly weasel and has been stringing you along. He is not your friend, as friends do not treat you this way.

Girl, get your dignity back and go NC forever! This guy does not think about anyone but himself!

[strawberryjell]

Sounds like my ex...I strongly suspect he left me for another girl, because a little over a month later, he's in a relationship... He jumps from gf to gf...I was the only exception bc he was single almost a year before we dated....if guys can't be honest and tell us what's up, then I don't think they deserve the time of day...we deserve better! What keeps me going is that I know I'm stronger than him, because I'm not afraid of being single Hope that helps you