I had an epiphany- kind of.

[hazelnut321]

It's been 5 days since Js and my last conversation. No texts, emails nadda. Is it hard??? Excrutiating is more the word.

He and I would send music links to each other throughout the day- we shared a love of music- and so many other things. He was always one to keep in touch- now silence. It's like withdrawals of a hard drug, but I'm trudging through.

 

I'm glad that I found this sight at just the right time- You all are helping me remain strong. I've never been one to chase down a man, but I'm pretty sure that I would have at least sent him a text by now if it weren't for my new compadres here.

 

Thank you all so much- You are an articulate, sensitive and savvy group. I've read dozens of posts. I've got nothing else to do these days.

 

Anyhoo- back to the epiphany. Today I was feeling the sting of tears a couple of times. That's really not on option with my job. I took a deep breath and said a hard prayer. I started thinking about things just a little differently than I had before. I was thinking that if he didn't feel it for me, than damn it- Ican certainly find someone that does! I've got alot going for me- The same could be said for most of you on this site.

I'm going to have a few hard days to follow. I haven't felt this kind of love for someone in a long time- decades.

But- I deserve a man who has reciprocal feelings for me- and one is out there. Until then- hey I've got it pretty darned good solo!

[mouseno4]

What does not kill us, can only make us stronger.

[JustOneSecond]

I feel for you, me and my ex also have a shared love of music, very similar tastes in a lot of things, I keep finding stuff I want to share with him then realising that would be a bad idea! You are right, you deserve someone who wants to give back to you as much as you give to them. Keep your chin up, you're doing great!

[TOOPRETTY4THIS]

I really understand how your feeling right now I'm in day 9 of my no call no show and it is hard! Your right it's like a drug withdrawal I have the shakes can't sleep can't eat break out in cold sweats he really did a number on me just left my world NUMB! but what I have learn to do in his name is say it out loud and ask god to bless him!! Instead of the regular screw you I would normally do!!! Conducting Self growth!!

[confused2012]

Maybe try some Klonepin?

[learning2relax]

Getting through the initial deafening silence is difficult. Hang in there.

 

Good to love yourself and see the positive side of things. Way to go. You are way ahead of me when I was back in your shoes. I am sure you still may be ahead of me now that I am 1.5 years out. Still working on loving myself. Your post was inspirational for me.

[hazelnut321]

Thank you LTR- You have been one to me as well!

[bunny45]

It's amazing how the silence is heart wrenching.

 

Gee, when I was a teeny bopper I would move on to the next 'crush' without missing a beat.

 

For some reason, now that I am older, it's difficult to get out of this negative rut I am in.