Girl From Work

[justshine]

Hey guys, I've been working with this girl for a few months now. When I first saw her I was immediately attracted to her, and I thought that she may have been in to me as well. I am well aware that is a never a great idea to dip the pen in company ink, but I am just working as a retail cashier until I am finished with my college program, so its not as big of a deal.

We are both fairly shy, but I would always catch her staring, asking for help for obvious tasks, trying to make small talk, sitting beside me on our breaks etc. I generally am good at realizing when a girl is into me , but believe I do realize I could have been wrong.

Anyways, fast forward a couple months, I finally get the courage to ask her for her number. Things seemed ok at first, she would always text back immediately. However ,a couple weeks I sent her a text about something funny that had happened earlier from our shift together, but I did not get a reply back. I assumed that had meant she was definitely not into me.

After a couple of weeks of not speaking to eachother she started to try and speak to me again at work. I'm wondering if was making too big of a deal over the one ignored text. Part of me wants to talk to her and be flirty with her, but at the same time, I wonder is it just best to cut my losses and try to avoid contact with her. I feel like a made alot of mistakes such as having oneitis for her, being nervous some of the time around her, but we also had alot of good moments once I got over my initial jitters of approaching her.

Any feedback is appreciated so let me know what you guys think.

[laura40]

She didn't reply to a text, which is not a HUGE deal. I'm not being mean, just trying to make you realise there could have been a load of reasons why she didn't reply.

 

If you want to know if she's interested or not, ask her on a date. It doesn't have to be worded like one, just something like "hey, do you fancy coming out for a bite to eat sometime?"

 

Don't ruin the friendship by not speaking to her because she didn't reply once.

[justshine]

She didn't reply to a text, which is not a HUGE deal. I'm not being mean, just trying to make you realise there could have been a load of reasons why she didn't reply.

 

If you want to know if she's interested or not, ask her on a date. It doesn't have to be worded like one, just something like "hey, do you fancy coming out for a bite to eat sometime?"

 

Don't ruin the friendship by not speaking to her because she didn't reply once.

Thanks you for the feedback! I understand that asking her out on a date would be a sure fire way to know if she is interested or not, however I feel like I already put myself out there too much by asking for her number and initiating texts with her. Perhaps I am too sensitive to a fault, but I felt really down after my text was ignored, I could only imagine how I would feel if she shot down a date. And it just feels like things have been awkward between us after that one text, and I have lost my "Swagger" so to speak when I am around her. Therefore, it just seems a bit strange asking her after all this, to a date.

Ugghh, I just wish I could go back in time where this wasnt this tension between us.

[putter65]

I would forget about the text she ignored. It's not a big deal, I'm sure it happens all the time. You sent her a funny story, thought it would amuse her but it backfired and you had your confidence dented.

 

You've got to look at the positives. She started chatting to you. I bet she was wondering why you wasn't talking to her. Women are like this, always wondering why 'your in a mood' - not all of them ask what is wrong. I've worked in retail for 15 years mostly with women and I've learned alot. I'm not saying this woman wants to date you but it seems she likes you as friends at least. Don't ruin that. Chat to her when you can, send texts and when the time is right ask her out.

[laura40]

I understand you feel a little rejected, which is normal. Ask her out though! You will NEVER know until you try. If she rejects you, then yes obviously you will be upset, but what if she said yes?! You have to take that risk.

[justshine]

I would forget about the text she ignored. It's not a big deal, I'm sure it happens all the time. You sent her a funny story, thought it would amuse her but it backfired and you had your confidence dented.

 

You've got to look at the positives. She started chatting to you. I bet she was wondering why you wasn't talking to her. Women are like this, always wondering why 'your in a mood' - not all of them ask what is wrong. I've worked in retail for 15 years mostly with women and I've learned alot. I'm not saying this woman wants to date you but it seems she likes you as friends at least. Don't ruin that. Chat to her when you can, send texts and when the time is right ask her out.

Thanks Putter. I guess in the meantime I'll try to be friendly with her when I see her at work, but in the back of my mind not put too much in to the outcome of the situation. Like I said earlier, part of the problem is that she is the only female that really has my interests at the moment so I tend to overanalyze everything with her.

[justshine]

I understand you feel a little rejected, which is normal. Ask her out though! You will NEVER know until you try. If she rejects you, then yes obviously you will be upset, but what if she said yes?! You have to take that risk.

I will ask her out once I muster up my confidence again lol. But I just feel like, she has my phone number as well, if she did indeed like why can't she initiate a phone convo/text once in a while. It has gone positive when she did respond, however it was me initiating the texts the few times. Should it not be 50/50? Even 75/25 lol. But I'm sure you catch my drift, it just feels like I'm putting in more effort then her.

[putter65]

I'm in the same situation myself. Played golf with a woman a couple of times. Tried to play again last week but she couldn't make it. It's a big deal because women don't generally want to spend time with me. It's not like I've got dozens of women hanging around, just this one. Of course I don't want to lose her so I worry constantly that she'll get fed up with me.

[putter65]

You sound just like me. I send all texts, nobody sends me one. Same with facebook. Hardly anybody sends me a message out of the blue. People respond to my texts and messages okay though.

 

I put in a massive amount of effort and get very little back. But like it's always been; nothing is easy, everything is hard work, nothing falls for me. But there's no point moaning about it I suppose.

[laura40]

I used to let the guys initiate conversation with me all the time when I was younger. I used to do it because it would prove to me that the guy liked me.

 

I don't know if it's the same with the girl you're interested in, but it could be.

[putter65]

I've worked with a woman for 14 years and she never initiates conversations. So if I don't speak to her she won't talk to me. And I'm talking about even saying 'hello, bye, excuse me, thanks' stuff like that. If I speak to her then normally she is quite chatty. Of course the next day she goes back to her 'waiting for me' mode. She doesn't act like this with anybody else. Once we went 6 months without speaking. Sometimes if I wait a couple of hours before I talk to her and then I say something, she sort of smiles to herself.