anna11 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 I posted some time ago about the above. Ok in brief; I had been emailing him for almost 7 months and we arranged to meet up. Fell into bed to discover after he was really involved with someone else. He told me, I was sad but OK that’s life. He also told me he only wanted friendly contact with me, nothing more. No issue I agreed….friends is good too. We have continued emailing…as before We both share a passion for a sport and I had arranged to go away on a trip to do this but it fell through. He kindly invited me to go with him instead. On my own sharing accommodation etc for 10 days. I want to do the sport and I need someone to do it with me so I accepted his offer. But I’m wondering, if you are involved with someone do you go away for 10 days with another woman…? What is this….??? I’m very confused. Is it possible he still has feelings for me….I’m wondering how to approach this. Oh we both have avoided discussion about how this will work out and are approaching it like 2 friends going off driving together…. Comments please. And I still like him.
Eocsor Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Sorry, but do you really have such low self esteem that you'd even consider this? He tricked you into sleeping with him even though he's with another woman. You can't seriously consider this. If you do the consequences will be on your head, not his. You are an adult and must know that this is a bad idea, so if you pursue it don't be shocked when it all falls apart.
anna11 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Not certain what the status is with his girlfriend. He is still online chatting to other women. he doesn't talk about her at all since he made the decision to stay with her. He was with her for 2 months prior to meeting me. I'm not a vitim here.When I met him we only wanted to meet but ended up in bed..it was great but not planned by either of us.
HeartGoesOn Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Extremely bad choice, both morally and physically. Please re-think this, and consider the consequences...you may very well end up with much more than what you can handle.
tresqua Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You had sex with him, only to find out afterwards that he had a girlfriend (who he obviously cheated on with you), and he told you he just wanted to be friends and yet you stuck it out all this time hoping for more with the rather weak excuse that you both have a passion for the same sport? You don't realize that there are probably tons of single guys out there who aren't cheaters who didn't lie to you and use you for sex that probably do that same exact sport? Just checking that I got this right.
anna11 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 When you put it like that I cringe... is that really all it is ..him using me for sex. I thought he ws honest to tell me and I had myself been involved with someone before we met. but when we met it just happened... Going away for 10 days together I see as a sort of opportunity to see if we both like each other enough to make some kind of relationship...especially as it is an extreme ssport.....WOW could he really be just using me..??? Is there little chance that he is confused and wants to see how things work out...??
tresqua Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Going away for 10 days together I see as a sort of opportunity to see if we both like each other enough to make some kind of relationship...especially as it is an extreme ssport.....WOW could he really be just using me..??? Is there little chance that he is confused and wants to see how things work out...?? You're leaving out a rather important detail. He has a girlfriend.
anna11 Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Ok..yes but I suppose stupidly I think that no guy would go away for 10 days with someone else if he really is in a serious relationship. and I'm hoping he'll realise I'm the one he wants. But the more I reflect the more silly I am....ahhh...but I really like the creep....
Batya33 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 There's no point in making assumptions here. Ask him directly if he has a girlfriend and explain that you don't want to be involved with him if he does. If you choose not to ask him it's because at least partly you don't care whether you would be interfering with someone else's relationship.
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Why do you want to vie for the attention of some guy who cheats on his girlfriend and even chooses not to tell you he has a girlfriend when he met up with you. As for the "it just happened'. Sex doesn't just happen. There are a sequence of events that lead up to it which could be stopped at any time but the choice was not to stop it. The guy is a creep and should be avoided.
agent1607307371 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 The thing that sticks out for me is you wondering if he still has feelings for you. Whatever feelings he has for you, they are not ones that you want. He cheated with you once, you didn't know he had a girlfriend. He's setting up to cheat with you again, this time you do know he has a girlfriend. You are not in the running to be his girlfriend. You are in the running to be his bit on the side.
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