oneroad Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Im not sure what to make of todays events.... im meeting up with my ex for the first time on saturday after being split for 7 weeks. Over the past 3 weeks we have been texting and both been flirting with each other, things have been light hearted and jokey and we were getting on well. I would like to think we could give things another go. He was the one who broke up with me as he was going through a strange time in his life but we broke up on really good terms, however Ive always felt there was something still there between us. We also work together and one of my friends works in his dept. So today, I heard that they had all been talking and he said he's happy hes no longer in a relationship. This slightly confuses me as on saturday hes coming to my house for dinner. When arranging it he seemed really keen and excited at coming round but now this has upset me slightly as i cant think why he would come round if it was only friends... plus we have been texting and getting on really well? Am i reading too much into this or should i be careful? I was going to not say anything to him about our relationship when he came round but now im thinking im going to as i need to know where i stand. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Where are you with him right now? Have you agreed to be friends? If so it's perfectly normal behaviour and what he's said is true, he's happy to not be in a relationship. If you've agreed to be friends though the relationship as his friend is doomed to failure because you obviously want him back. Link to comment
imonlyhuman Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 i think this is one of those examples of why NC can be good when one person wants a relationship and the other just wants to be friends. yea, things are going well and friendly, but that doesnt mean he wants you back. maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. and when you hear things like that, it can really hurt or be distressing. im in agreement that you should find out where you stand. and if he doesnt want as much as you want, your contact with him should be incredibly limited or no contact unless both of you are ready to be 'just friends' or 'together again'. Link to comment
oneroad Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 I appreciate what you guys are saying but if you could read the texts between us there has been a lot of flirting and this has mainly been from his side, hes been flirting as if he still is interested in me. Ive actually held back on flirting back to protect myself a little. I will just have it out with him on Saturday Link to comment
lastshot20 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I say you let him lead the meeting. Don't ask much about his personal life, the current status of the relationship, or what happened. Usually these meetings are a feel out, to figure why he has been missing you so much. So put you best foot forward forget about your history with him and treat it as a first date Link to comment
Eocsor Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Flirting does not equal real interest though. Some people will flirt with anyone. Link to comment
wilyone 11 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I agree with lastshot. Don't talk about the past just treat it as a first date. Be the woman he originally fell in love with. Link to comment
sunnz Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 I say you let him lead the meeting. Don't ask much about his personal life, the current status of the relationship, or what happened. Usually these meetings are a feel out, to figure why he has been missing you so much. So put you best foot forward forget about your history with him and treat it as a first date ^ This... I just think it takes time for people to get a feel for things again...it can't just be a straight into relationship after months of no contact...people want to make sure there is a connection and also they want to take things slow... remember this isn't going to be the old relationship...this is new now and new courting...and with this is the slow approach in an effort to not make the same mistakes again from the past...build a good foundation first...and nothing wrong with starting out as friends...I mean who meets someone new/old without being friends first ??? I mean they're not acquaintances or enemies... And I would be weary of other females or anyone really giving you secondhand gossip...I would also not relay information back to the friends that work with him...words get twisted...you just don't know peoples agenda Link to comment
betrayed911 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 maybe he was just acting ,,strong,, infront of his buddies,ask him as a joke what he meant on saturday Link to comment
LostKat Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 There's nothing wrong with getting together but temper your expectations. That is a must. If you go into the night thinking you are getting back together, you will in all likelihood be disappointed. As others have said, this is a feeler for how things can be between you guys now that you are broken up. Could this be the start of reconciliation? Sure but that will take some time if ever. Sometimes you have to start all over to be together again. I'm sure he misses you in some capacity which is why he communicates and wants to get together. Don't interpret it as wanting to get back together even if he is being flirty. He is trying to get your attention. Try to look at it as a friendly night out. Nothing more. Then take it from there based on how the night goes. Link to comment
oneroad Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I will just look at the meeting as friends and see what happens. As well regarding contact, should I still keep LC with him? I'll keep everyone updated Link to comment
vince0202 Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 He might want a booty call to be honest you ddont know his intentions... not saying your that way but guys are like that they figure they can get it again... do the dinner keep it casual but if things do get kinda heavy keep your guard up and see where it goes. Best of luck to you Link to comment
oneroad Posted June 28, 2011 Author Share Posted June 28, 2011 The same thing crossed my mind... that he could be after a booty call but I really don't think he's the type of guy to do this, he's a good guy. Plus surely he would just go somewhere else and not back to me. We will see this week!! Link to comment
BONO Posted June 28, 2011 Share Posted June 28, 2011 i think this is one of those examples of why NC can be good when one person wants a relationship and the other just wants to be friends. yea, things are going well and friendly, but that doesnt mean he wants you back. maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. and when you hear things like that, it can really hurt or be distressing. im in agreement that you should find out where you stand. and if he doesnt want as much as you want, your contact with him should be incredibly limited or no contact unless both of you are ready to be 'just friends' or 'together again'. Well said. Link to comment
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