bebop Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Had quite a ok day at work was busy so kept my mind of things, but having spicy chicken for dinner reminded me of a date we had together. I'd been thinking alot about my situation over the past 2 days. Fast approaching 10 weeks since the official break up and about 6 weeks since they became an item. I've had enough of it all, we've met countless times and shared our feelings, she still has feelings for me but not strong enough for her to finish the new guy (think she's scared I'll hurt her again) Any way every time we have met we've got on great and spoke about what ifs and the future. Always the same outcome she's going to see how it goes but won't give me the closure I want. I was getting on with my life while all this was happening but she was always on my mind, analysing the way things where between them what had been said to me etc etc. It was driving me insane. even looked on her profile when I got in, photos from the other night some of her fella alone none of them together thou!!! I've decided that I'm not going to be bothered by the situation anymore, what happened has happened and nothings going to change that, If she comes back I want it to be her own decision not because I've forced her into it. I'm glad she's happy now just annoyed that it's not me making her happy. Pretty big step I guess I am taking, but its for the best. Time to move on and find someone new, if she becomes single soon I guess we'll cross that bridge when it gets here. Now do I tell her? I know she still has feelings for me and she know's I do for her and it's been effecting her new relationship, if I tell her she'll also be able to move on and be happy. I feel that if I don't tell her I'll still think that she's thinking about me and telling her will help me get it out of my head, and make me feel better.
JonasWaingaro Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Honestly, she's in a new relationship and ain't thinking about you - at all. They are in the googly eye phase. If she admits she still has feelings for you it's because she feels badly - not because there's some hope for 'us'. That's done. Ya know? Hate to sound harsh but it's time to walk away. When the ex is hooked up with a new partner that's your cue to disappear. (unless you're one strong human being! Hard to be in an exes life and watch/hear about that stuff after only 6/10 weeks) You have to ask yourself what telling her does for you. Will it help you? Or is this a last ditch effort to sway her back? Ask yourself why and what good will it do you. If your answer is positive and not manipulative then maybe but it's probably best to just go live life. Save that energy for someone who cares.
bebop Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 Last ditch attempt at wouldn't work! It's just more closure for me i believe she needs to hear it from me.
jumper11 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 You're best leaving her be.. did she leave you? She could mean what she's saying but you can't do anything about it. If she sees any future at all with the new guy she won't leave until shes 100%. I'm in a similar situation as her but my ex left me and then came back so I guess it's all just complicated.
bebop Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 You're best leaving her be.. did she leave you? She could mean what she's saying but you can't do anything about it. If she sees any future at all with the new guy she won't leave until shes 100%. I'm in a similar situation as her but my ex left me and then came back so I guess it's all just complicated. We weren't in a serious relationship together, dated a bit in nov/dec I wanted a relationship she didn't. Then we dated again in march/april she wanted a relationship I was scared she'd hurt me again so told her to leave it while I thought about things. By the time I'd had a think she was seeing someone else within 2 weeks. A lots happened since then, weve had nights out together when the fella was also out with his mates spent hours talking while the fella called her, we even kissed a few times all led by her. But it always leads to the same answer everytime I ask her about it. She just isn't sure keeps telling me there are things bothering her about him obviously not enough to call an end though. I need to move on for me I just want her to see I'm not here any more and give her the closure that I want.
hausser Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 bebop do you ever comment or try to help anyone or other threads other than your own?
bebop Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 bebop do you ever comment or try to help anyone or other threads other than your own? Been waiting for a comment like this. I've not had a serious relationship since I was a teenager, so my advice would be useless to everyone!! But people must be in a similar situation to me so the threads will be helping others too.
Eocsor Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Last ditch attempt at wouldn't work! It's just more closure for me i believe she needs to hear it from me. She doesn't need to hear from you, thats just an excuse to maintain contact and take one last shot. Don't do it, you guys never really had a significant relationship and she's obviously moved on. Actions speak louder than words and the loudest action of all is sleeping with someone else. Also, you are in no way, shape or form ready to date another person yet. You'd just be using them to get over your pain. take some time off and get yourself right.
LostKat Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Focus your attention more on furthering yourself and moving on then dwelling in the past with this relationship. You have the right idea to move on but you don't have to tell her about it. Do it for yourself, not for her. She is dating someone new. It doesn't make a difference if it is a rebound or not. She is with this guy and told you she wants to see it through with him. Why play second fiddle or be the back up plan? Don't wait around for her to break up with this guy hoping that whatever feelings she still has for you will bring her back. If she really wanted to be with you, she would. There is something between you guys that is having her hold onto to you but it is not enough for her to want to get back together with you.
tresqua Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 bebop do you ever comment or try to help anyone or other threads other than your own? Is this some sort of a requirement?
tresqua Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Who asked you? You are the only one who has asked me anything.
MakeItCount Posted June 28, 2011 Posted June 28, 2011 Is this some sort of a requirement? lol no kidding. Pointless comment, just ignore it bebop. As other ppl have said, you need to back off and let this thing run it's course. Don't be a backup. Time for you now.
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