There is always hope (long)

[Knight of Hope]

"There is always hope" - one of my favorite quotes from one of my favorite characters (Aragorn) in one of my favorite movies of all time (Lord of the Rings). Also my signature quote. Anyway, my point - finally I believe it!

 

I broke up in January with my girlfriend L, whom I had known for five years, and who had been a good friend all through college. Therefore we knew each other well, and on paper, it seemed like a perfect match. Since we broke up (the breakup coming down to her acting much differently once we were in a relationship than before we dated), needless to say it wasn't a perfect match. Still, the thought that the relationship that should be perfect was falling apart was very stressful to me. At the same time, I was a second year dental student, working 7 days a week, a minimum of 6 hours a day on the weekends and 10 hours a day during the weeks. Felt like I was losing control... very depressed... and finally I saw a doctor to get pills, and started seeing a counselor. Well, when I told L about the pills I was taking and the steps I was taking to get myself back to normal, she declared that she didn't know if she could date a "mental patient." That was the end. Goodbye, L.

 

Over the next month and a half, I started getting myself back to normal, and in late February, my depression was gone (apparently it was L's fault!), I felt much more in control of my own life, and I decided I wanted to start dating again. My anger at L coupled with NC made getting over her a lot easier than I ever thought it would be. Anyway, still a crazy busy dental student, I didn't really have the time or energy to go out to meet someone, but I certainly had both time and energy to write emails. Joined OkCupid and sent off a handful of messages. None of the girls really stood out, and there's no way you can tell a good match just by reading a dating site profile. Anyway, just one responded - a girl named R.

 

We wrote very long emails to each other, and found out we had a lot in common - family backgrounds, religious beliefs, moral values, a high priority on family, just to name a few. OkCupid messages turned into phone calls and real emails, and finally into our first date at the beginning of April. It was a good first date (not magical, but I don't think any are outside of the movies), and it led into a second, and a third, and a fourth. We are dating regularly now, getting closer by the day!

 

We've only known each other for a few months, but it feels like we've known each other far longer. There is an unspoken mutual trust between us, which is definitely a good thing. There is also an ease of communication, a common understanding, between us, which is something I've never felt with any girlfriend before. Our senses of humor mesh well, and we're good at making each other laugh. I tend to tell bad jokes sometimes (like stupid puns mostly), and she'll even laugh at some of those. She's also a very good listener, and only rarely do I have to explain my thoughts to her (only when I talk about dentistry haha). I get the feeling that this girl just gets me! And all of this goes both ways - she gets me and I get her.

 

The really cool thing is that she's not forcing the relationship forward. My first girlfriend C wanted to be married within a year, and was talking about our children only a month into our relationship. And then L had our wedding date all picked out before we were even dating, and called me "hubby" from day 1. But there's none of that with R. We like seeing each other, so we keep seeing each other. If we didn't see potential, we'd stop seeing each other. Simple as that. I'm not seeing anyone else (nor do I have no intention to), and I'm pretty darn sure she feels the same way. We are essentially in an exclusive relationship, but we don't feel the need to call it that. Facebook is not what makes a relationship exclusive, after all. Finally a girl who will just let the relationship be and grow naturally!

 

It's interesting, too - I find myself more and more attracted to her the more we date. I thought she was cute at the beginning, but I have an even higher opinion of her looks now. I'm totally into this one, and I'm definitely falling for her.

 

So, even in the darkest of times, something good can come. Doesn't always happen, but enough to merit hope, I'd say. I just know that I feel very blessed to have R in my life, and I'm hoping and praying she stays around for a long long time!

 

The end, and thanks for reading! I hope that my story brings you hope, or maybe just a smile to your face.

[dolorosa]

Thanks for this post and love your signature

[Eocsor]

Just take it slow and be careful you aren't in a rebound relationship.

[Knight of Hope]

Just take it slow and be careful you aren't in a rebound relationship.

 

Taking it slow is something both she and I want, actually. I want a girlfriend and to have fun. If I stop having a good time with her, I am done. I really like her, but I wouldn't die if we broke up. I am sure I'd find another girl.

 

Also, as far as many modern relationships go, she and I are not very physical. We'll cuddle on the couch, hold hands, and we've only had one kiss. So I know I like her for her. As long as I like her for her and vice versa, I think we're pretty safe.

[BriarRose]

You broke up in January and met the new girl end of February? That's good.... I think it's harder to keep the faith when you have been single a long time, though.