I think my BF is staying with me just for sex...? How important is sex really?

[Girl180]

Hi. Would you stay with your girlfriend just for the sex? I have really great sex with my boyfriend but I am not sure if he thinks the realtionship has much else to offer. I recently started dating my sex buddy of 6 months. I told him it was either a proper relationship or nothing at all. We have been offcially girlfriend and boyfriend for about 3 months now. We don't seem to have much to talk about though, and even after all this time we are still a little awkward with each other. I have a suspicion he is staying with me just for the convience of sex, and we do have very good sex. Would you date a girl just for sex even you thought she wasn't the 'one'?

[mouseno4]

Me? Nope i would not.

[BlueMilk]

I know I wouldn't but I do have guy friends who would.

 

It falls back on the whole 'relationship with no commitment', which basically means friends that * * * * each other (sometimes exclusively) with no future in mind. In which case /both/ are doing it for the convenience (of sex, of having a partner, whatever.)

 

It sounds like you two never had anything to begin with except sex. And when you wanted more and tried it out, well now it became more obvious that you two may not be compatible except in a physical sense.

 

Talk to him, tell him where do you see and think. We can't do much to help you unless we know more about his and your thought process.

[He2Him]

No, it's a waste of time to me. Why spend time with someone average when I can find someone awesome instead.

[BriarRose]

Hi. Would you stay with your girlfriend just for the sex? I have really great sex with my boyfriend but I am not sure if he thinks the realtionship has much else to offer. I recently started dating my sex buddy of 6 months. I told him it was either a proper relationship or nothing at all. We have been offcially girlfriend and boyfriend for about 3 months now. We don't seem to have much to talk about though, and even after all this time we are still a little awkward with each other. I have a suspicion he is staying with me just for the convience of sex, and we do have very good sex. Would you date a girl just for sex even you thought she wasn't the 'one'?

 

If for some reason he has trouble getting other women, he might. But generally, I don't think most men would want to intentionally hurt someone or lead them on like that. Most men can get sex.

[Jd1983]

I think it really depends on the situation.

 

Personally, I can't stay with someone just because of the sex, at least not in for the long haul. I have known some guys who would actually stay with someone simply for the sex and nothing more.

 

In your case, you were originally friends with benefits, therefore chances are pretty high that he was just interested in sex. You even said it yourself that you don't really have a relationship outside of sex.

 

Does he take you out or want to spend quality time with you? Do you ever have dates without actually having sex afterwards?

 

If the answer is no.. then you already know what that means.

[Snowy]

Some guys would. Just sayin'

[TakingtheBlame]

I agree with BriarRose mostly. I also think this sort of thing happens when a guy isn't ready to go out and find "the one" but wants the convenience of regular sex and a date to social and family events. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say perhaps your guy is somewhat recently out of a long term relationship (perhaps engagement?) and/or is considering a major career change or geographical move? Maybe he figured you're good enough for now and is willing to say whatever it takes to keep you around until he's healed from his past hurt or has accomplished whatever goal he is in the midst of planning/executing. Also, I assume you guys are in your late 20s or 30s...I think my advice might change slightly if you're younger (though not much.)

[FathomFear]

It's a two way street. If you admit that your conversation is stale, etc, but you're staying with him anyway, it's fair to say that you're probably both putting up with it just for the sex.

[hexaemeron]

It's a two way street. If you admit that your conversation is stale, etc, but you're staying with him anyway, it's fair to say that you're probably both putting up with it just for the sex.

 

Bingo. ^^ Seems this is going both ways.