xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 We used to have sex normally like three times a week.then its gettin less and less now even just once a week.he said it wasnt me.its his work stress.then i asked him does weed decrease ur libido? he says yeah probably. Hes been gettin stoned everyday now ,right after work.doesnt seem like i can do anythin to change him really. sometimes he gets horny durin middle of the.day but he wouldnt have sex.till i wait till night.he doesnt feel like it anymore and would just go straight to bed.or wants me to "pleasure him" then goes to bed. i sometimes get really keen for sex but he doesnt do it..anything i can do with this situation? Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Another thing is sometimes he does this foreplay that really turns me on but after it he will stop and go to sleep? i dont understand Link to comment
BlueMilk Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It sounds like stress is making him smoke up even more to 'escape' the pressures. I know that works with me. Usually weed doesn't decrease the libido in just a week or two, they have to be CHRONIC smokers (months to years) to start lowering testosterone levels and decrease libido. Now it might be a mixture of both too; either way it sounds like work is stressing him to that point. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 It is dangerous to go alone, take this: link removed Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 It sounds like stress is making him smoke up even more to 'escape' the pressures. I know that works with me. Usually weed doesn't decrease the libido in just a week or two, they have to be CHRONIC smokers (months to years) to start lowering testosterone levels and decrease libido. Now it might be a mixture of both too; either way it sounds like work is stressing him to that point. what should i do? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 How long have you noticed this change in behavior? When he is horny during the day, do you try to initiate sex with him, or you are the one choosing to have sex at night? I know that you've been having other problems within the relationship aside from sex, perhaps this is affecting him as well? Have you tried to spice it up a bit, and wear some sexy lingerie to see how he would react to you? Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Not long.it s recent change.ive been thinkin abt other things that may affact him but he always tells me hes happy he loves me..so i dont know..but it feels terrible if he dpesnt want sex cuz its like hes not sexually attrated.it doesnt work that much if i try spice things up.if he wants he wants otherwise he just wont do it Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Do you know if his job is causing him a lot of stress? If it is, perhaps when he comes home from a long day of work, you can draw him a hot bath, have dinner ready for him, and give him a nice massage then take it from there. Alongside of that, do you have good communication? Sometimes people just want to talk about their frustrations and have someone listen. You can show him how much you care about him, by listening to him vent. This way he can open up more to you and feel more at ease. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Interesting i did all that.still doing them.and always have.i think thats why he says"love u love u love u"but it still doesnt lead to sex.i actually wonder,can it be lost of attractiion although everythin else is feelin fine.how can i tell? am i missin signs? Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Has he complimented you lately? Why not just try to come on to him or try something new in the bedroom? Something that he would least expect, and see if you get a reaction from him? Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 27, 2011 Author Share Posted June 27, 2011 Yes he still compliments me..try new things? well best thing he likes is probs me givin him blow jobs.he actually often expresses that he wants it.and when i give him that,even he really enjoys it he wont turn them to sex.. Link to comment
RoboDuck Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 We used to have sex normally like three times a week.then its gettin less and less now even just once a week.he said it wasnt me.its his work stress.then i asked him does weed decrease ur libido? he says yeah probably. Hes been gettin stoned everyday now ,right after work.doesnt seem like i can do anythin to change him really. sometimes he gets horny durin middle of the.day but he wouldnt have sex.till i wait till night.he doesnt feel like it anymore and would just go straight to bed.or wants me to "pleasure him" then goes to bed. i sometimes get really keen for sex but he doesnt do it..anything i can do with this situation? Flush his weed down a toilet. It ruins people. It takes away drive to do anything and turns you into a useless lump that just sits on a couch laughing at old Family Guy reruns. Link to comment
BlueMilk Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I don't know man, I am a bit of a pothead and I'm doing pretty well in life. I do have couch moments but no more than the person who chooses to spend that exact same amount of time surfing the web, fapping to porn or reading trashy romance novels. We all have different ways to unwind and not everyone's is productive - drug use has only a little affect on that (or else we wouldn't have famous potheads since they'd be too lazy to do /anything/.) As for what you can do xyzzzz, I'm not entirely sure. I want to say it sounds like you both need a break, a weekend away if you can so he can simply relax completely. If you travel far enough he won't be able to bring his weed easily, in which case he will be moderately sober during the trip (although be wary, some people can get a bit crabby for a day or two of not smoking up due to habit.) Link to comment
Batya33 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Interesting i did all that.still doing them.and always have.i think thats why he says"love u love u love u"but it still doesnt lead to sex.i actually wonder,can it be lost of attractiion although everythin else is feelin fine.how can i tell? am i missin signs? Accept that he prioritizes smoking pot over having a fulfilling sex life with you. If you cannot accept that then he is not the person for you, even if you are comfortable with his drug use. Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Im left wondering if perhaps there may be an underlying cause here (medical or hormonal?) maybe stress problem? Remember that the brain is the main sex organ. I started smoking Pot when i Was 15, and for a period of time Up until 20/21 (about a year or year and a half ago) I smoked very heavily.. I mean total Pot-head Wake & Bake routine. Smoking alot of Marijuana can make the user tired After the initial High So that could be it, But it has never effect my desire. My fiance also smokes and she's Yet to have any problems with it. The pot may Be exasturbating the problem, But i doubt it's the sole cause based on my experiences with it. Link to comment
tresqua Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Tell him you'll blow him after he takes care of you, either with sex or oral. Win/win. Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Tell him you'll blow him after he takes care of you, either with sex or oral. Win/win. Haha. Funny Because my fiance uses the same thing when she knows i been tonkin' reall hard that day Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 he always makes weekend plan for us.otherwise i'll do. i enjoy our weekend getaway together.everything works fine,as least so it seems, i dont see anywhere i can improve anything,unless let him quit the "very stressful job" haha now im thinking i have to just accept this fact and be paitient and see how things go..and focus on other aspacts of a relationship.. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Tell him you'll blow him after he takes care of you, either with sex or oral. Win/win. by him taking care of me you mean he has sex with me first? then i'll blow him? Link to comment
BlueMilk Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Y'know, I think a lot of problems could be solved if people were patient and waited it out... HOWEVER, if there is a deeper underlying problem then waiting it out may make it worse. Does he get more intimate when you two are away or is he just as apathetic (and it feels more like travelling with a roommate?) Link to comment
tresqua Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 by him taking care of me you mean he has sex with me first? then i'll blow him? Yes, you take care of him after he satisfies you, rather than you blowing him and getting nothing in return. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Y'know, I think a lot of problems could be solved if people were patient and waited it out... HOWEVER, if there is a deeper underlying problem then waiting it out may make it worse. Does he get more intimate when you two are away or is he just as apathetic (and it feels more like travelling with a roommate?) well..im not gonna be ultra sensitive here so i say he is pretty sweet to me in general and intimate? ,yeah i guess so. not everyday but every now and then. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Yes, you take care of him after he satisfies you, rather than you blowing him and getting nothing in return. lol i dont even have to ask i knew he'd say "but im too tired" Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Next time he says "I'm too tired", let him know that you'll do the work. When he's in it, I'm sure he won't be too tired then. Link to comment
tresqua Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Get him hard with a BJ and then climb on top of him. If he still resists then climb back off and walk out the door and don't look back. Link to comment
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