I'm so happy,but I am afraid.

[princessinblue]

I met this guy one night just goofing off on a chat site. We spent that night talking...and it was different then anyone I had really talked to before. I had this feeling and I'm not sure whether I just liked him or what, but I had this feeling a really good feeling about him. After like a week of talking we became inseparable.Whenever I go to sleep after we have been talking for the day. I have odd dreams about our discussions. Last night it was exploding apples and zombies. All to do with different bands and other things we discussed. I have dreams about talking to him. He's amazing. the issue is we live about 3000 miles away....He's coming closer after he graduates from his college, but he's still 3000 miles away...but the more I talk to him the more I like him. I may love him. Which is odd because he is the shy type. Shy, tall (well taller compared to me at least), dark, handsome...and I don't even know why he likes me, but that's another story. I could try running away from this, but It might just break my heart and If I stick around I don't really know what his feelings are on this and I'm afraid of asking him, because whats too good to be true usually is. So do I stay? Do I run? He's beautiful body and soul.

[RedDress]

Ok. So, here I come to be the voice of doom and gloom. LOL! Sorry...

 

This guy? He may be legit. He might completely like you as much as you like him... but the thing is? 3000 miles, when you've never met in person, is a lot. Heck! It's a lot for couples with a pre-existing relationship. It's even more for a couple who have never met. And, I mean... there are physical urges and stuff...

 

Why are the options that you gave either stay or run? Why not enjoy his company while keeping your options open and dating others? If it works? Great! If it doesn't work? No problem, you have backup.

 

I don't think you should invest too much emotionally until you've at least met in person. Even better if he's living closer by.

 

That's what I think you should do. But others are more romantic than me...

[mouseno4]

I sadly agree. You should not get emotionally attached to someone you have never met.

[dramallama]

I have been in a cyber relationship before with someone on the opposite side of the world. It is very easy to project your feelings onto someone and fill in the gaps for how you'd like them to be, so it is kind of a fantasy. I will never know whether we would have made for a good couple since he did a disappearing act on me before I even booked the tickets. It was so scary when I did confess it to him, and he kind of avoided answering and rejecting me. But it was better than staying in limbo since I was very in love with him at the time.

 

I would say try not to get too wrapped up in it and if you do feel that he is a good match, does he feel the same? My recommendation would be to either confess to him or tell him that you want to focus on real life relationships. I know it's scary. I eventually confessed to him, but he wasn't that keen on me until I convinced him to be in a relationship with me (not good). But at least you will have your answer one way or another. Whatever you do, whether he isn't feeling it or is lukewarm or you don't have the guts to let him know, do not hang around and settle for being friends with someone online. There's a great big world out there to be having a relationship with a computer.

 

If he does feel the same try to meet sooner rather than later. I think, on the whole though, most cyber/long distant relationships end up crashing and burning, wasting months or years of your time. It hurts just as much as a real relationship though because you've invested so much time in it.

[OptomisticGirl]

I Have been in your position. I met a guy, great, wdonerful, sweet, amazing guy (on here, actually) and we hit it off almost instantly. He made me laugh and for the first time in a long time made me feel beautiful and I was able to accept who I was. Kicker? He lived 4,000 miles away in the UK. A little over a month after we met he asked me out (and we had not met in person yet). 4 months dating we met and a week or two after we met we got engaged and are due to get married this October and me move to the UK the following Oct. It can be done, it does happen, but it is rare. I'm not telling you our story to give you false hope of any kind but to show it CAN happen but it's all about complete and utter honesty. If one thing had not been the way it was with my fiance and I, we wouldn't have worked out. We were so damn lucky to have met when we did in life and everything just fell into place for us.

 

With us, before we even started dating (before our talks even went into the 'you are the only one I"m talking to' area) we asked each other would we be willing to do a LDR of that magnitude. That has to be answered before anything else. Anything. Is it worth it? For me it is. For me every bloody and awful long mile is worth it between us because I know when it will end (next year) and I know it will. Enduring a 2 1/2 LDR to spend a lifetime with him is worth it to me. I took the risk and it paid off - it may not pay off for you, it may pay off. I know for me I was prepared to get my heart broken vs. having a 'what if' for the rest of my life when it came to him.

[Voguester]

Alot of people will discourage you towards being involved in a long distance cyber relationship and I see where they are coming from, it is hard but if you both really want it and are happy doing so then why not? Life is too short so I say if you like this guy then go for it!

I'm in a long distance relationship and it can be really difficult because he lives on the other side of the world but I'm hoping to move closer to him this year or next year, I love him and I'm willing to do anything to be with him.

So don't listen to people who flat out say cyber relationships are ridiculous, they're always the people who have never experienced it or have been burned so just follow your heart and do what YOU think is right, not what other people think.

[princessinblue]

Alright Thank you all for the advice I will take it all into consideration.

[Batya33]

I think the best thing to do is to make plans to meet in person ASAP (that is, within the next month or two at the latest) where you meet during the day in a public place - no getting in his car or being in a private place with him - and if you get along, you can go on a real date (in a public place) during his stay in your town (or you can meet in the middle but get your own hotel room). Before you meet him have a background check done. If he is not enthusiastic about meeting and reliable about making plans you will know he just wants a chat buddy. Also figure out if financially you can afford to see him, if it works out, at least every 2-3 weeks so you can get to know each other in person. If this is not possible I would stay in touch as the chat buddies you are now but far more casually so that you don't use your free time up typing to him instead of being out there and living your life, socializing, doing your activities/work, etc. JMHO. Oh -I was long distance with my now husband for a few years before we got engaged so I know a bit about the challenges of long distance.