TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Insight: we been together 6months the happiest moments of my life when i met him!! we went on cruises, trips to meet his family, weddings, parties, clubs, babyshowers, you name it we did it! He's a marine lives 45min away from my home came to see me everyday i was off even comes up to my job! He develop a close relationship with my family as well as my 9yr child! All of this and had no idea he was MARRIED! Well after some intense investigating and research came in contact with his wife (well she called me being that they share the same phone contract) she told me there have been problems regarding the 8 hours distance between them and other conflicts and that the relationship was heading to divorce! ok well after alot of back and forth talk between them they decided to divorce but with the millitary they have to be separated for a year before the divorce can be final during that time he brought me a 2k diamond promise ring asking me to stay with him until this time is up so that he can then propose to me! ok! but anyway things was going good no calls from wife just living a nice life enjoying each other company and thannnn............ The DarkNess: June 7th he left my house on the way to work kissed me on my forehead like he always did! later that morning he texted goodmorning baby than we end up talking through out the day! later that evening he was getting ready to go to class when he called to say he was going to be to my house soon as he gets out of class which would be about 9:30 because he claim he cant wait to see me! ok 9:30 came no him? uuummm! 10:15 came no him? so i called and to my surprise his number was changed! So i got up drove out to the barracks and his room wide open and emptied what the hell just happened? seen a fellow marine in the hall so i ask hey did you see sgt.so and so! ugh yeah earlier he was moving all of his things and said he was getting out of the marines today! WOW!!! ok so the next day i called out there to see if he was an soldier that went awol! and to my surprise he checked in at work that morning with a new number and address! wow!! they gave me the number i called and texted a million times and would not respond!! so the next day i came out there looking for answers so i went to his chain of command(they were really nice) they made him come up to the office to talk to me he did not want to face me!! the only thing he had to say to me is that he wanted to be alone and didnt want to get into any trouble with his job if he cont to see me while going through this divorce! WOW!! until this day he would not pick up the phone and talk to me. he only send short texts saying hes sorry and that he cant do this anymore!! i called and texted him all day everyday begging know i know but i couldnt help i really falled for the guy im pouring tears as i type this! well as of last saturday i have completely gone cold turkey and have not contact him wat so ever!! no calls no text no email no nothing!! full force with the NC! and hopefully this pain goes away this is excruisating pain!!!!
No1 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Im sorry that you are going thru this. You did nothing wrong. You didnt see it coming and there was nothing you can do. In the end, he was selfish, he didnt want to be alone and found you, and Im guessing even tho everything was great, the love flowed in one direction. If there is anything that is positive, you can say that you didnt marry the guy or have kids with him. In other words you can walk away and there is nothing to tie you to this guy. And even tho this might sound mean, but its not. It was only 6months, you had a great time, you smiled, and laughed. And if he did this to you, and his wife, he is going to do it to someone else eventually. And if he was a Marine here in SD, Id kick his butt for you.. ha ha. I think you should just throw everything he ever gave you away, and you are doing right by not ever communicating with him on any level. Eventually, he will try to call you and apologize, if he ever does, it will only mean cause he is lonely. But you deserve better. You deserve someone who is available to you 100%. Someone who will make you happy and not be selfish. but for now.. work on you. Youll be fine, youll go thru a lot of stages, but in the end, youll find true love and happiness and he will still be living a lie and an illusion
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 thankyou so much i really needed to hear that!! hes located sc i wish you can go out there and beat him up lol!! that would really be nice and uplifting but on the real i think i may have moved a little too fast introducing him to my family now when i come around their so use to seeing him as well and their asking where is he and im like uuggh ummm hes at work working on special project...i just cant bring myself to be looked at as another failed relationship in the eyes of my family!!! and plus the time we spent felt like we was together forever it just felt so natural!! but your right i feel sorry for the women in the future for this seem to be an on going habit for him i just fell victim!!
mouseno4 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Wow i must admit that is the most amazing disappearing act ive ever read. Ive heard of women doing this kind of thing all the time, but the first i have ever heard of a guy doing it. Pretty much common practice for girls, but not for guys.
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Wow i must admit that is the most amazing disappearing act ive ever read. Ive heard of women doing this kind of thing all the time, but the first i have ever heard of a guy doing it. Pretty much common practice for girls, but not for guys. The disappearing act is just as much a guy thing. I experienced it and plenty of women here on ENA have also written about being blindsided by Houdini-like men.
HeartGoesOn Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 He was not in a place to be starting a new relationship, since he was still in the process of getting a divorce. IMO, a person is not ready to date, never mind be in a new relationship until the divorce is finalized, and they've been on their own for a period of time. Just my opinion...
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 I CAN REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT I OFTEN ASKED MYSELF AND GOD WAS I MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION TO STAY IN THE SITUATION ONCE I FOUND OUT HE WAS MARRIED BUT FOR SOME REASON I COULDNT BRING MYSELF TO LEAVE HIM ALONE IT ALMOST FELT LIKE HE NEEDED ME AND I WAS SENT TO HIM (SOUNDS CRAZY I KNOW) BUT THATS HOW I FELT!! I SHOULD HAVE KEPT MY FEELINGS IN MY POCKET KNOWING THAT HE WAS IN A SITUATION!! IT JUST FELT SO RIGHT!!........AND HE OFTEN TOLD ME THAT!!! {SILLY RABBIT TRICKS ARE FOR KIDS}
No1 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 sounds like you understand what happened and it was all his doing. Of course looking back you wish you could of played things closer to the heart, but at the time, you did what you felt was right. So dont beat yourself up. You were the best GF you could be to this guy not ever knowing what was going to happen. You should be proud that you were trusting, supportive, unselfish, giving and you made people happy. Those are some great qualities for someone to find. Just be true to yourself and dont change. You are going to find someone who will enhance your happiness one day. Happiness is the sweetest revenge...
tresqua Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Better get that 2k promise ring appraised. My guess is it's cubic zirconium and not worth $100. You two were never in the same place, and the first red flag of many was that he was married and never told you. You must have known something was up long before he took off since you did all that "intense investigating" after you spent all that "quality time" together.
lavenderdove Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 OK, a man who would like about being married would have no hesitation about lying about anything else... I suspect he realized he was just getting out of one marriage, and didn't want to get into another serious relationship. It was fun when it was a little sneaking around behind his wife's back, when then he had to live up to his promises, he bolted. And what a coward he was too! Just count yourself lucky you didn't marry him and have a kid with him only to discover what a liar and cheater and coward he was. He just turned out to not be the man you hoped he was. so try to focus on who he really was rather than trying to remember the good times which were basically a sham.
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Lol!! No baby the ring is well over 100 but it's not about the price or the diamonds it was the meaning the sole purpose of the ring and yes I followed my heart and feelings not my Mind will take things slower and with precaution next time!! But hey how caution can you really be dealing with emotions feelings and love?????
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Yes mam I totally agree!! 100% you said that very well!! Thanks alot!!
TOOPRETTY4THIS Posted June 28, 2011 Author Posted June 28, 2011 Yes i was really good to him and we ran into sum nicks when I found out about the marriage but after talking to the wife and him it's like things was smooth over but for all this to happen all of sudden just left me in shock he also had the nerve to text me " you always made me feel like you was going to leave me at anytime" yeah right coward!! I will pray for you!!
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