joswsieg Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 So here's my situation. I'll be going back to college for my second year in August. I originally went their only to be with my ex. Now that we are broken up I'm not too sure how to deal with being at the same school. She lives about 30 seconds away from me on campus and the school is relatively small. There is a great chance that I will run into her on/around campus at least once a day. It's not like bigger universities where there will be 50 parties in one night. At my school, there are usually 1 or 2 parties that EVERYONE goes too. So I will also have to deal with seeing her there and dancing/being with other guys and seeing her drunk as hell too. How would you handle this? I don't want to be a recluse and only leave my dorm when I have to so what should I do. Like I said, seeing her is inevitable and unavoidable. I have to walk past her apartment every day to get to class also, and I'm so afraid of seeing her walk into her room with another guy or something like that. That will drive me mad. Please anyone with advice or words of wisdom chime in here. How would you handle this situation?
rediscovering Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 We go to the same uni as well and due to happenstance and mutual friends and both of us being so active in school, it'll be inevitable seeing each other again in August... As of right now, I'm just on the path of moving on and healing. I can't think about that right now since I haven't yet adapted the right mindset of handling those kind of situations. I'm sure by giving it time and focusing on me, it'll be different, and my thoughts won't be the same as they are right now... I don't have any words of wisdom or really any sound advice since I'm in the same situation, but all I can say is: focus on you right now. School doesn't start tomorrow, you know what I mean? You'll have weeks and instead of focusing your energy on what will happen in the future, start living in the now and start moving on for you.
joswsieg Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 That's a great way to think about things. It's definitely going to be a tough situation though once it happens. Anyone else have something to add?
joswsieg Posted June 27, 2011 Author Posted June 27, 2011 No I can't transfer this semester. Can you transfer?
rediscovering Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 It's a bit late for transferring. And in my case, I wouldn't transfer because of a loved lost. After all, I didn't go to my uni because of him... we met there.
strawberryjell Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I'm in the same boat....I thought about transferring just to avoid my ex, because I go to a small college, but I really love my school and all the friends I've made there-I'm sure they'll help catapult me into truly being over him if I'm not yet by then....I suggest just surrounding yourself by friends and having fun with them. It'll be hard not to, but we just have to learn not to let them negatively affect us if we do run into them.
BrokenSmile Posted July 4, 2011 Posted July 4, 2011 I actually was in this position for many years.. I had transferred to the same college as my ex and he broke up with me within a month of me transferring. Even though it was a bigger university, I still ran into him or his friends everywhere I went, it seems. We still ended up in classes together because we were in similar programs that had joint classes, and we worked together... The result of all of this was that it took me years to fully get over him. Only within this past year, when we were finally away from each other and didn't see each other on a daily / weekly / monthly basis, did I finally get over him. My advice would be to definitely go NC as much as possible and work on moving on as best you can. Understand that you may run into them on campus, but work on developing interests, friends, activities, etc. outside of what you used to do together. Try not to let seeing them on a regular basis interrupt your healing process..
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