Busted out the jealousy card

[poloace]

Ugh- not what I wanted to do. Been apart for almost a month and a half. Signs for possible reconciliation as long as i maintain my confidence and stop being a whiny needy clingy person. She says she wants the 'old you' - that's the person she wants to date. Recently i asked her if she'd be ok dating anyone else... She said that if they made her feel as we did when she first starting dating me that we would. So, yesterrday I'm texting her after being out drinking with something along the lines of 'got asked by one of the techs to go to an event.' she was upset about it and I replied with, 'if they make me as happy as you did, I don't see why i wouldn't.' I told her that she was still my first choice but that I'm not a backup plan. She called me a jerk and that i was putting it in her face. Well, up until. Now, she's felt that I'd always be around. I think she is pretty Upset w me Now... She's driving x country in a week and i plan on seeing her mid july when she's out here. The most important thing for me when she is back will be to remain calm and confident.... Not let her see the whining weak side which no woman wants.

 

About the jealousy thing... Can I recover from it? She seemed upset- at the same time, I wonder if lighting that fire under her and letting her know that not all women see me as weak... That it's a product of my insecurity within the relationship as it stands now. Any advice? Going to get back to no contact... Longest I've gone without hearing from her is 3 days when we do that. Just want her back.

 

P

[MMMBrains]

i wouldnt let her know that, if you say its meaning less she has to see it in action i think but i wouldnt go out of your way. id just be confident i wouldnt make any attempt to make her jealous as if you did get back together and there were jealousy issues then they would just continue into the relationship and cause a possble break up. if your confident then she will know other women wont see u as week as women like confident men. if she wants the old you just make sure u are the old self and dont try to be something ur not . if she sees this shes gonna think about how u were when u first met

[poloace]

Man, i wish i could live life as simply as you put it. I hope i didn't ruin it forever... I just want her to realize that I'm better than being left alone.

[MMMBrains]

oh yes this is all easier said than done. i think u can recover from it though. no contact could work depending on how good terms u are with your ex. all depends on the situation.

[superfox]

I don't see this as you playing the jealousy card, I see this as a bit immature and almost throwing a tantrum! A jealousy card should have stopped at the 'I was asked out...' you pushed it into childish territory by adding on the 'to see how I feel...' which was what she said to you initially!

 

The ultimate jealousy card would be for her to see exactly how well you are coping WITHOUT her, that'd set her brain working overtime ;-)

[poloace]

So, I just texted her and apologized for the exchange yesterday and said that i care for her and that my actions were due to misplaced emotions. we'll see what transpires..