sjustine Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I was wondering if escapism can be taken too far or if it is necessarily a bad thing? I have done this as far back as I can remember, even when I was a little kid. I guess I just always felt like I didn't belong/ low self esteem and that life was just pointless and monotonous. So I would start to pretend I was someone else and make up stories in my head about my life as this other person. I know its normal to fantasize, but the thing is I do this all the time, every day. It usually will start by getting really into a tv show or a book or something. I'll be drawn to a character or an actor and become obsessed with them and start pretending I am them. on the outside I act perfectly normal, but on the inside I have all these story lines going on in my head. In a way I guess I'm protecting myself from feeling alone, because in these fantasies I'm always surrounded by people. But i'm also concerned that my own life is passing me by and I should be enjoying being myself. Does this make any sense? Does anybody else do this? I feel completely crazy most of the time and that nobody would possibly understand.
bunny45 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I daydream quite a bit and have done it since I was a young girl. I was taunted and teased my whole childhood and usually found daydreaming a great esacpe... You are not alone...
Firiel Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Start writing these things down or something. Maybe you'll become a great writer!
superfox Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I did this all the time as a teenager and it started again all through my relationship with my ex (husband). Fantastic jobs, holidays, celebrities, everything! Now I'm happier than I've ever been and just don't anymore! I don't feel the need which makes me think I was escaping.
rhawk2 Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 I've done this for as long as I can remember. The stories have changed as I got older, but it's all so I don't feel alone. I always make myself more confident, more fun, etc. I think this escapism is actually a big part of the current conflict I'm going through. It's gone past day dreaming and is bleeding into my real life, to the point where I am always thinking in this fantasy world I've created. In that world, I find myself amazing and valuable, but then real life crashes in and I feel worthless. I'm currently trying to shut down the fantasizing so I can create a life in the real world. So, yes I understand but I do not find it positive at all. I feel like it is actually causing me emotional/social issues that I shouldn't have to deal with.
sjustine Posted June 26, 2011 Author Posted June 26, 2011 I always make myself more confident, more fun, etc. I think this escapism is actually a big part of the current conflict I'm going through. It's gone past day dreaming and is bleeding into my real life, to the point where I am always thinking in this fantasy world I've created. In that world, I find myself amazing and valuable, but then real life crashes in and I feel worthless. I know exactly what you mean, the persona I create in my head is confident, funny, and social but in real life it comes out as boring and socially awkward.
dreamalong Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 Glad to know I'm not alone, at some points in my life when it gets too bad I reach the point where I don't want to deal with real people anymore; I just don't want anyone to disturb my world. It's a sign of empty life, for the few happy periods I had in my life escapism was minimal more like occasional day dreaming normal people would have. you just need more events, thrills or a special one in your real life to keep the dreams at bay, easier said than done. I know.
rhawk2 Posted June 27, 2011 Posted June 27, 2011 It's a sign of empty life, for the few happy periods I had in my life escapism was minimal more like occasional day dreaming normal people would have. you just need more events, thrills or a special one in your real life to keep the dreams at bay, easier said than done. I know. That completely explains everything going on with me. I've never been a real socializing person. I don't join organizations. I don't go out with lots of friends frequently. I focus on school and family, and when I'm not doing those 2 things I fall back into the imaginary world I've created.
RoboDuck Posted June 29, 2011 Posted June 29, 2011 All the time while I'm at work, I pretend that I'm actually a superhero doing things which aren't boring.
LisaRoseP Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 I have been doing this since I was about 11. My life at that time became so unbearable that I had to make up a fantasy life in my head. I was always myself though or maybe a few celebrities from time to time. In these fantasies my life was not perfect but the way people viewed me was different. I was always loved in my fantasies even if I had troubles. I even isolate myself in my room so I can completely be in my own world.
90_hour_sleep Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 seems like one of those things that starts innocently enough. and gradually...with the right nourishment...it develops into a way of life. i don't think there's a person on this planet who doesn't do this...at least on some level. i think we're taught from a young age that the desire to feel a distraction is normal and healthy. i disagree with that statement...and your words here are absolute proof of that fact. But i'm also concerned that my own life is passing me by and I should be enjoying being myself. and doesn't it make sense? when you're escaping...you're somewhere else. and when you're somewhere else...you're not actually HERE. you're 'asleep'...living a sort of dream. but not living. while it's very natural to want to avoid displeasure...and seek pleasure...projecting yourself away from your present moment in an attempt to avoid unpleasantness, or to seek pleasure will always have a way of keeping you stuck. things don't change if they're never addressed. i like the suggestion of writing things down. i mean...if this feels like a problem to YOU...then by all means...take the initiative. i think the more conscious you become of your tendency to slip away...the less of a hold it has on you. begin to notice when it happens. you may find that that has a very natural way of bringing you back to where you are. by recognizng that you're somewhere else. the very act of realizing that you're not HERE...means that you're actually here again? if that makes any sense.
rhawk2 Posted June 30, 2011 Posted June 30, 2011 the very act of realizing that you're not HERE...means that you're actually here again? if that makes any sense. haha! I used to have a teacher say that she herself was insane but the fact she recognized her insanity made her sane. XD
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