Day 1 NC...I hope this is the worst it gets.

[nikkinikki143]

I woke up this morning and it hurt hurt hurt. See I don't wanna be the girl he loves one moment and pushes away the next. I can't be in a relationship that ends once a month for no good reason. I just can't do the fights, the crying, the disrespect anymore so I said my goodbyes yesterday and blocked his calls and texts. I woke up and all I could think about was that id never see him or hear his voice again and it stings like nothing I've ever known. Any suggestions on how to handle the temptations to call and the sadness that comes with it? How do I survive this?

[whysoalone]

Do you have any hobbies/study? I know it's not the best of situations, i'm in to my 3rd week of NC! The temptations kill me, but I just bury my head in to something else. Like work, or a book/study. Anything that'll take my mind away from it.

 

It'll get easier as time passes, just maintain No Contact! If it was constant arguments, this is probably the best thing to do love. You will be fine, trust me. Time heals everything, you just need to be willing to take the time!

[listed]

You gotta find things to fill your life with in the mean time. Do anything (in the beginning don't worry so much about whether it's the best use of your time), but eventually or even right away you want to be doing things that improve your life and put you moving in a positive direction. These things will give you a short term moral boost even if they don't pay off until the long term. Keep busy. And just remember contact will only drag it out.

[listed]

One thing that's a perfect use of time for after a break up is exercise. It makes you feel better in the short term. It makes you look better and healthier in the short term and long term. It's a good habit to build and after a break up is a perfect time to build good habits.

[ChellyV]

that is truthfully speaking. they say that the grieving stage starts with denial, grieving, acceptance and renewal.

be strong. do not allow anyone to make you think or feel that you are inferior or sub standard. nobody is like that. on the other hand, if you feel you need to discuss your feelings with him before totally ending it, then do so. but be prepared.

 

otherwise start NC until you completely heal. talk to your family and friends, us here at ENA, volunteer, read a book, just keep yourself busy. reach out to people.

[ForumGuy]

Once you resist calling, even the first time, you will get a little stronger even though you may not be able feel it. After awhile, you will begin feeling your inner strength and you will build on this. The first few days of NC can be torture and many people don't make it, I know I thought I wouldn't.....but I did....and have experienced first hand how it heals.

[nikkinikki143]

I have many hobbies, I read, work out, travel, hike, cook, camp, & watch sports. I work long hrs plus I have a 9 yr old so I usually keep pretty busy but yesterday was hard! I spent it in bed crying. I only left the house once to get a drink with an old friend that showed up at my door unexpectedly..god works in mysterious ways. I'm hoping to make today count cuz all the crying gets me nowhere and the things to do stack up on weekends I'm not in bed crying a mess. I know somehow I'm gonna pull through this, I just wish I could get through the pain a little faster.

[guest281]

im in nc now, shes contacted me about 5 or 6 times during it, but i will maintain nc, its probably been about 2 weeks now. i have nothing to say to her, and dont want to open old wounds, give her an ego boost. or whatever she seems to be trying to do.. hang in there mate, you will get through it, hard to do, but worth it. just instead of contacting talk to someone on here.. chin up

[ForumGuy]

I remember not going anywhere or doing anything for weeks. I was a basket case. Now, a year later and I am on top of the world. No relationships since and very picky. It didn't take a year for things to get good, but did take a few months. Hopefully things progress from day 1 of NC for you like they did for me. Please stay strong, it is in your own best interest.

[nikkinikki143]

I have him blocked to where I can't see his texts or calls , so I supposed its easier this way. The temptation to call or text isn't so strong when I don't know if he's calling or texting or how he feels about anything I've said. I said my goodbyes, now its time to let go. Just its hard cuz this week we talked about having babies and getting married. I know if I gave it a little time, wed work things out and id be here posting wks from now crying the same old song. I have to get past this. Somehow I've got to let go.

[Cadence44]

Healing from a loss isn't a linear process so don't count on this being the worst you will ever feel. You will probably have harder days than this as you phase in and out of different cycles.

 

The good news is that all the while you will be making progress even if it doesn't feel like it and you will have evidence that you can get through the bad days. Think long term and don't put expectations or deadlines on your feelings. Trying to deny them when they inevitable show up will only make the grief process last longer.

[Mustachio]

Day 1 is always hard, but is it the worst it gets... well, yes and no. On the whole it just gets better the longer it goes. But you will still have days that are just horrible, some that hurt as much and sometimes feel worse than day 1. You sometimes start wondering, hey, its been two weeks now, why havent I heard anything.

 

But keep going. It does get better. Just remember its not a linear process, it cycles. Sometimes you have bad days, sometimes you have better days. In the end though, if you stick with it, it will be better.

 

Edit: Just saw Cadences post above, which says the exact same thing as mine, heh.

[Danny77]

Day 56 and I'm still 56x better than day one.

Even tho it is her bday today.

Day one is a nightmare and maybe till day 7.

But then I felt days 7 - 21 easy and then from 3 weeks on it got a bit sad but a numb pain and not as harsh.

 

You've choosen the right thing and now just let it work for you.

 

[pietro5266]

Been through the exact same situation the last few weeks emotionally -- thought it was going to kill me. I also didn't have anything or anyone else going on in my life, so I was isolated in my misery.

 

But "listed" is absolutely right -- I've taken this misery and turned it into a learning opportunity, so that I never end-up this isolated again. It taught me a lot about myself, and I'm making a lot of changes. I have always been an extremely driven person, always task-oriented, etc., at the expense of social contacts, social life, etc. No more. I haven't done a god**mn "useful" thing in several weeks, save for the basics of work and kids, but I've done a lot towards re-connecting with friends and making new social contacts. I'm also working out more, which has been great.

 

In the back of my mind, I certainly feel that I'm trying to prove to my ex that she gave-up a good catch, and this works as a temporary motivation, but, in the long run, it will simply just be for me.

 

You may not be at the point where you see yourself doing any of this right now, but you will be. As the others have said, look to other distractions and people as much as you can for support, and, yes, even this forum. I've been on many forums, and this one has some of the most sincere and intuitive members I've ever seen. It's been very helpful for me.

 

Good luck.

[Bungle UK]

I still remember breaking up, bit of broken contact over a few days. And then 2 days serious no contact, I went for a meal on the Fri night and was just an absolute wreck poked my food. cried myself to sleep. Its just the worst feeling in the world. It really is.

 

But...

 

I'm now 4/5 months down the line, and its what everyone keeps saying... It does get easier the more days that go by.

 

No contact, no contact, no contact!!!!!!!! Be strong.

 

I think you get the message. x