Cloud9riddim Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 "I love you...I TRULY do...but I just can't be with you anymore.." "I've moved on enough where I'm too scared to go back." ( For a refresher) It's been a month and half since we me and my ex broke up ( see above thread...anxious attachment)...We haven't spoke in 9 days. This mainly a rant and an inquiry for some insight.. but, it's unfortunate that 2 people who love each other deeply can't make a relationship work because of fear. I suppose that's where the conflicting attachment styles come in, (me being anxious, her being avoidant) I'm in a state of confusion...there were many times where I considered ending the relationship whilst I was in it but love is what made me stay. How do I know it truly was LOVE? Was my attachment style, my need for depending on her, my void needing to be filled, the reason why I wanted to stay? She told me after the break, "You'll never be happy if you settle." Going forward, how can I determine the difference between the two? Being in love or clinging on to someone who I know can love me in addition to having an intense attraction?
listed Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 Love is just a concept. You shouldn't be basing your decisions based on lumping your emotions into one category or another. If the relationship is over you should move on regardless of how you categorize the emotions.
catfeeder Posted June 26, 2011 Posted June 26, 2011 You'll know you're in the right relationship when it works and you're happy. We're all guilty of hanging onto the wrong people and trying to wrangle them into becoming the right one. That doesn't work. Not even if you love one another. Some people are best loved as an enhancement to your life that brings joy. Some people are best loved from far away. You'll know the difference when you see it--if you allow yourself to see it.
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